What to do?? Life after a stroke

Posted by cinque @cinque, Jul 27, 2020

I am a 49yr old Black man revering from a stroke. I don’t know what to do or where to look to do something with my life. By the way i had my stroke in Sept 2019. I have to use a walker and I can’t really talk. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Hello @cinque and welcome to Mayo Connect.

I am sorry to hear of the long term effects of your stroke. Are you aware of the type of stroke you had?

I'm also wondering if you have had physical/occupational and speech therapy after your stroke? These therapies can be very helpful.

What does your doctor say about your recovery?

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Hi @cinque, I'd like to add my welcome. There is life after stroke and connecting with others here on Mayo Clinic Connect can help. I echo @hopeful33250's questions. Are you currently able to go to rehab or are you recovering at home? Can you tell us a bit more about you? I will connect you with other stroke survivors like you.

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I was 53 May 17, 2015 at work. My stroke was small and you can't tell unless I tell you. Keep smiling 🤗 take one minute at a time and enjoy life. As we found out life changes quickly and changes may take a long time to chance.
What did you do before?
Make sure use all short term disability, long term disability, accident insurance (I had and didn't know it covered stroke until almost too late) all P.T., O.T, and speech and maybe use all your time left for speech and spread it out. You were not born with everything you had and you can get more back then you had -just keep working. Join free support groups -stroke -alphasia -water walking exercises- Tia Chi- chair yoga-library kids dept and read outloud to yourself or a tape recorder (it's hard to listen to but it helps). 🎼🎵🎶

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My husband 64 yrs. had 2 strokes. One on 9/8/2020 the other 9/18/2020. He has made great progress. He's physically fine and speech is good. His biggest problem is apathy. He has zero motivation. Doesn't really care about much.
Has anyone experienced this?

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Hi @nicky7 and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. Thank you for joining the conversation and sharing your husband's stroke history as well as your concern with regard to his lack of motivation.

It sounds as though this is new following his stroke, is that right? If so, what is he doing/not doing that is most concerning so that other members may provide some support?

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My main concern is he doesn't want to do anything to help with his recovery. He's doing speech therapy but once his session is over that's it. She asks him to practice until their next visit but he doesn't care. If I leave him alone he will sleep for hours during the day. He sleeps well all night. The dr gave him antidepressants but there's no change.

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@nicky7 thank you for sharing some more details. This may seem over simplified, but have you asked him about his lack of motivation and what may be going on or to get some more insight?

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Hi @nicky7

I've been reading your posts about your husband's strokes. As you probably know, these strokes have probably left him with some brain disorders. Do you know which parts of his brain were affected by the strokes?

You mentioned that he tried an antidepressant that did not seem to help. Some meds of this type take a few weeks up to a few months before they begin to show their help. How long did your husband take the antidepressant? You might also consider asking the doctor for a different med to deal with the depression to see if something else might work better for him.

Also, I'm sure that after two strokes he must be taking a lot of meds. Probably different blood pressure meds as well as other meds. You might consider talking to his doctor about the timing of these meds. Most of these meds do promote sleepiness. If that is part of his problem, you might ask the doctor which of these meds he could take later in the day (with the evening meal or at bedtime) in order to avoid daytime sleepiness.

You might also consider music as therapy for his depression. Whatever music he grew up with or has enjoyed might be helpful. It has been found that even very cognitively impaired dementia patients will often be perked-up when they hear the music of the '60s or hymns that they knew as a child and or teenager.

Thank you for the caring and support you are trying to provide for your husband. I'm sure that on some level he appreciates your efforts. Will you post again and provide an update?

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@nicky7

My husband 64 yrs. had 2 strokes. One on 9/8/2020 the other 9/18/2020. He has made great progress. He's physically fine and speech is good. His biggest problem is apathy. He has zero motivation. Doesn't really care about much.
Has anyone experienced this?

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@nicky7
Hi Nicky – I had a thalamic stroke last Memorial Day. Yes, one can experience apathy as well as a lot of fatigue, but with all this Covid stuff going on there may be some of that that affects him as well. Being separated from family and friends is very difficult. What keeps me going is my husband takes me for walks every morning – doing something physical and getting out in the fresh air helps. Also, my daughter calls me daily with Facetime so I can see my little granddaughter and my daughter-in-law and grandkids post videos on "Marco Polo" and ap where you can video back and forth so I can see the other grandkids as well. Part of his apathy may also be from seeing that he is a mere mortal. If he could actually connect on this group or a local support group would help him. This I know as I also have gone through cancer and being in a support group where you can talk freely with "your own kind" helps immensely. All the best to you both.

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@nicky7

My husband 64 yrs. had 2 strokes. One on 9/8/2020 the other 9/18/2020. He has made great progress. He's physically fine and speech is good. His biggest problem is apathy. He has zero motivation. Doesn't really care about much.
Has anyone experienced this?

Jump to this post

Hi, sorry to hear about your husbands stroke. I had a stroke 2019 and I find my self relaxing more than I should with Covid being retired since the stroke. I do know everyone is different and recover different. I worked really hard on getting my eye sight and left arm and hand up to where it should be. You would never ever had known I had a stroke by looking or talking to me. I knew things were not right. Still going on three years later I notice something's, but I keep working at it. I am more tired than I was before, so be patient and remember it was his stroke and he alone can make it better.

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