What is the funniest thing a doctor has ever said to you?

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, 20 hours ago

I had a good rapport with my (now retired) General Practitioner. Once, I went to see him for food poisoning. It was campylobacter and he gave me antibiotics. They worked but I got clostridium dificil from the antibiotics and he said I had to take Vancomycin, the antibiotic of last resort.

I asked what happens if it doesn't work? "Well, Scott, then I'm going to have to take you out back and shoot you." He said it so calmly and dryly that I couldn't stop laughing.

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propane | @propane | 20 hours ago

My doctor asked me if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

celia16 | @celia16 | 18 hours ago

They are pretty funny! I'm trying to recall something.......hmm....

Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | 16 hours ago

My doc of many years also saw my girls. When I was upset during Covid about how strictly they wanted to quarantine me, even keeping us from our grandkids, she said "Just tell A&D that you're still the Mom and they need to listen to you. If they give you any crap, call me and I'll call them!"

shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | 14 hours ago

I asked my very proper ophthalmologist why he didn't check me for glaucoma with the little puff of air to my eye? He said we haven't done that for a long time, and use more sophisticated testing.
If I want a puff of air, he'll eat Mexican food-it makes him fart.

shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | 14 hours ago

My long time internist told me my heart was strong, "You can shovel coal." I started singing 16 Tons, and he joined in. Both of us wailing in the examination room.

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | 12 hours ago

A [seeming] lifetime ago, I was a racehorse trainer. I used a homemade horse liniment on their legs. And often used it on myself. When a Dr asked me what I was using on my sore back, I told him. He asked if I had started neighing, yet! Silly man!
Ginger