Chronic Pain members - Welcome, please introduce yourself

I'm a 72 yr old living with chronic pain since 2004. I unknowingly had the pars defect. I was rear ended at a high rate of speed by a SUV while was at a stand still. I didn't know my back had broken cuz I had no pain for 6 weeks. The broken disc healed(?) on top of the lower disc with my sciatic nerve pinched in between them. This caused me to get scoliosis, sciatica and lumbar degeneration. It has spread upwards and now and I have thoracic degeneration. I'm have a bulged disc, a missing disc and a ruptured disc. Having neck pain now; therapist says it's a pinched nerve caused by my torn rotator cuff. I take Tramadol every 6 hrs as needed. It takes the edge off, but doesn't totally numb the pain. I had spinal injections when my insurance covered them. The injections didn't help. The 2 neurosurgeons I saw described 1) replacing my spine with a titanium rod top to bottom and (2) 3 separate surgeries with 6 weeks in a wheelchair between surgeries. Both claimed they could 100 percent "fix" me. Since I know 100 percent was unrealistic, so I ditched both of them cuz I can't trust a dishonest doc with a knife. I've known 2 people who were partially paralyzed by back surgery. Won't consider surgery until if/when I can't walk. I think death will relieve all pain. Taking 2 antidepressants and clonazapam. I feel like I have no choice but to welcome death. (NOT talking suicide) although until I adjusted to the pain I strongly considered it. I'm not crying like a baby cuz I know others have it worse than I. And with a bone dx of -4.9 in places what would hold the screws in place? So, hello, this is me. 🙃