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Venting again

Posted by diverdown1 @diverdown1, Mar 16 9:29am

Hi kindred. I was supposed to start a new internship for my concentration field placement for my graduate degree (online thank goodness). So, last night the weather was crazy as is the case a lot here in TN. Tornado warnings, huge storm and I am sure some of you had that or the immense snow that is occurring as well. I stay awake due to having witnessed a tornado when I was 28. I got 2 hours of sleep. I let my field supervisor know that I could not come in as I felt awful. She knows that I have an autoimmune issue, but I have not uttered the words Long COVID yet...though I will. Anyway, she was okay with it as she also weathered the weather (pun intended). I feel as if I am a prisoner in my own body. I am feeling sorry for myself this morning (although grateful my house is still here and did not get blown away.) I want so badly to be able to walk the dogs again, feel like going to the store, many things that I can't do some days. Today is fatigue, malaise, loud tinnitus and my intestines hurt. It is a crap shoot daily. I am grateful I can write this here with you who understand.

I also received an email from the founder of the Long COVID advocacy that I have been posting from for Long COVID awareness. Her story is as brutal as most of us. I am posting the link here. I realized while reading it that I can come to you and write and that you understand. Thank you.
https://longhauler-advocacy.org/so/a7PpqMPEX

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Post-COVID Recovery & COVID-19 Support Group.

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caldiana13 | @caldiana13 | 6 days ago
In reply to @diverdown1 "@caldiana13 Thank you! I am going to use my colored pencils and make a sign to..." + (show)
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@caldiana13 Thank you! I am going to use my colored pencils and make a sign to put up, maybe a couple. I so appreciate your kindness.

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@diverdown1 Yay! Those signs should be in honor of YOU and your tenacity. Even though life can throw us some very tough challenges, I think it’s when we are willing to dig deep that we find little gems of grace that encourage us to keep moving forward. So get those pencils and create what speaks to your heart. We, here, will be waiting to hear how your journey is going. As always, wishing you the best!

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maxozbarker | @maxozbarker | 6 days ago
In reply to @diverdown1 "@maxozbarker What did you come up with? I have several but they are easy to forget..." + (show)
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@maxozbarker What did you come up with? I have several but they are easy to forget when I feel like (expletive). I woke up this morning with fatigue and I was irritable. I feel a bit better now having read the replies from you wonderful people. Thank you and hang in there.

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@diverdown1 Ha! I haven't come up with anything great yet. I have been sleeping pretty much since yesterday! I did eat properly and drink my water though. I will take that as a win!

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maxozbarker | @maxozbarker | 6 days ago
In reply to @diverdown1 "@maxozbarker What did you come up with? I have several but they are easy to forget..." + (show)
Profile picture for diverdown1 @diverdown1

@maxozbarker What did you come up with? I have several but they are easy to forget when I feel like (expletive). I woke up this morning with fatigue and I was irritable. I feel a bit better now having read the replies from you wonderful people. Thank you and hang in there.

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@diverdown1 I purchased a beautiful piece of pottery last time I was @ Mayo in a cute little art space. It says Only Dead Fish Swim With The Current. I have a quirky sense of humor and it spoke to me. Humor is what gets me through most days and I believe the saying is about how each of us is capable of owning our unique journey. I reminded myself today that I am in charge of my health, nobody else. That is an incredibly freeing thought. I get to choose how my days are spent and what I allow in my space. This gives me a certain sense of control in an illness that I can't predict.

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diverdown1 | @diverdown1 | 5 days ago

I can't eat peanut butter anymore, apparently. I woke up choking in my sleep as it came up in my nose and throat. I feel rotten today. I have to be at the field placement at 8:45, an hour drive from my house. I got up early so my medication will kick in. I get tired of waking up feeling so awful and yet, what is there to do except ride through it and keep going.

My sense of humor is weird also, some would say inappropriate at times, but it is good to laugh for sure. I just can't let myself future trip or I go down a hole.

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diverdown1 | @diverdown1 | 5 days ago
In reply to @jrg200911 "@diverdown1 Here's a hug you can see, print, carry with you, or share. My dad was..." + (show)
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@diverdown1
Here's a hug you can see, print, carry with you, or share.
My dad was the best hugger! I made this [business-sized] card and gave them out to everyone as a "reverse offering" at my dad's memorial service (2001). My mom said, even years later, how friends told her they "still carry John's hug with them". I had a ministry for years where I left cards in random places to brighten someone's day(public restrooms on the toilet paper dispenser, at the gas pump in the credit card slot, on the table with tips at restaurants, in the "seat pocket in front of you" on plane flights, ...) Everyone can use a hug! Best when it comes unexpectedly from someone you don't know. One waitress told me once she had a pile of cards she's received that she can draw from to "pay it forward". I was happily outed as a chronic restaurant patron. lol (My mom told me once shortly after I got married, from one wife to another, "you need to feed your husband." Hmmm. Well, there are different ways to accomplish that...)
Anyway, consider yourself hugged!
Blessings
(Click on image to fully open.)

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@jrg200911 Thank you!

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