Caregiver for the past 14 months

Posted by dulcist @dulcist, 10 hours ago

Unfortunately, I had to place my husband in assisted living (AL) with hospice. He's "fine" mentally during the day but can't get out of bed for toileting or bathing. Long story that I will share later today. Sundowner episodes start later in the day.

Anyway, he went into AL this past Wednesday. When I visit him, he tells me he's lonely, but doesn't want a tv. I think I'll get one anyway. He is an introvert and not social at all. So, he stays in his room all day and night.

I am going to get a team of people to visit him and the church which I just started back will visit him also.

Right now I am exhausted mentally and physically.

I know I need to take care of myself.

How often do you visit your spouse in AL?

Thank you and God bless all the caregivers.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.

celia16 | @celia16 | 4 hours ago

So glad you’ll get a chance to recharge your energy. It might take a while to sink in.

My cousin lost internet in watching tv, but I got her one anyway, because it might be company to her if she had to stay in the room all day. She was in a wheelchair but scooted all around the Memory Care. She never really had conversations with anyone, but was intent on being near them.

The activity director might be able to engage him in something during an activity. She was in a wheelchair, but loved to hand out papers or assist the director in anyway.

Does he like music? Some places have live music a couple of times per week.

If it were my spouse, it might be different, but I visited my cousin once a week, before covid. I also called and spoke with her on the phone a couple times per week, but she soon forgot the calls and visits after they were over. The director told me there was no reason to visit everyday. She felt it interfered with her adjusting to the place. After a couple of weeks, she forgot she had a home. She believed she lived there and it was her own apartment.