Untreated MAC

Posted by desperada @desperada, Aug 16, 2018

I have just been diagnosed with MAC and Bronchiectasis. I am already mostly deaf in one ear with RAGING tinnitus, I am plagued daily with horrific headaches, I have fibromyalgia, stenosis in the neck and spine and have vision problems. I also have anxiety disorder. I have had C-Diff four times from antibiotics, so my gut is pretty much ruined. EVERY SINGLE DAY is rife with suffering. I am not going to add suffering from these antibiotics that will be exacerbating every single affliction I have to the point of being totally intolerable. Taking these antibiotics scares me to death! The only thing that has stopped my trembling is the decision just to opt not take them. and believe me, the Pulmonologist just gave me brutal hell over MY decision. He was just mean, and I was crying more over his attitude, than having the actual sickness.
My husband just passed away in November, and we had no children. I haven't even finished dealing with his death, I'm still in bereavement therapy, and now i find myself having to plan for mine!
I am not willing to suffer the side effects of these totally toxic antibiotics. I have had a pretty good life. I am 71. No one lives forever.
I am really at peace and content to just enjoy the days I have, and I feel relieved I can just plan to get myself into Assisted Living and let things run their course.
I am totally fed up with the horrible care and berating I'm getting from my doctors with the exception of my PCP. I live in an area where the health care is not that great, and everyone just kind of gets by.
I am using CBD edibles and they actually suppress my coughing and keep me relaxed without being impaired.
My disease right now is not that debilitating, but I know that will be changing.
The thing I am finding out is that there is absolutely no predictability. No one knows how the disease progresses – each person is different. Not everyone "tolerates" the antibiotics, and not everyone has a positive outcome with them.
I have two little dogs – I walk them EVERY day – no matter how I feel. And it takes "activity" just taking care of myself on a daily basis.
I have never been a martyr. This is not a fight I want to participate in.
My support is practically nothing – I have to do the best I can completely on my own.
There are so many, many brave, driven people sharing their experiences here and I take huge comfort knowing this disease is not just mine and I am not being victimized or punished nor the only one going through this.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the MAC & Bronchiectasis group.

@oldkarl not sure what you mean by larger but lower clinics?

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