1. < Hearing Loss

Tips for Speaking with Someone with Hearing Loss

Posted by Editor Ed @editored, Mar 7, 2019

I'm deaf in one ear and have a 30% loss (high frequencies) in the other. I've had a hearing aid for 50 years, since I was 18.

I've found the following Web pages to be particularly good for letting others know how to help a hard-of-hearing person hear them. I can't post the URLs right now as a new member, so I've included what these pages say.

"Communicating with People with Hearing Loss" (from ucsfhealth) https://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/communicating_with_people_with_hearing_loss/

Successful communication requires the efforts of all people involved in a conversation. Even when the person with hearing loss utilizes hearing aids and active listening strategies, it is crucial that others involved in the communication process consistently use good communication strategies, including the following:

1. Face the hearing impaired person directly, on the same level and in good light whenever possible. Position yourself so that the light is shining on the speaker's face, not in the eyes of the listener.

2. Do not talk from another room. Not being able to see each other when talking is a common reason people have difficulty understanding what is said.

3. Speak clearly, slowly, distinctly, but naturally, without shouting or exaggerating mouth movements. Shouting distorts the sound of speech and may make speech reading more difficult.

4. Say the person's name before beginning a conversation. This gives the listener a chance to focus attention and reduces the chance of missing words at the beginning of the conversation.

5. Avoid talking too rapidly or using sentences that are too complex. Slow down a little, pause between sentences or phrases, and wait to make sure you have been understood before going on.

6. Keep your hands away from your face while talking. If you are eating, chewing, smoking, etc. while talking, your speech will be more difficult to understand. Beards and moustaches can also interfere with the ability of the hearing impaired to speech read.

7. If the hearing impaired listener hears better in one ear than the other, try to make a point of remembering which ear is better so that you will know where to position yourself.

8. Be aware of possible distortion of sounds for the hearing impaired person.They may hear your voice, but still may have difficulty understanding some words.

9. Most hearing impaired people have greater difficulty understanding speech when there is background noise. Try to minimize extraneous noise when talking.

10. Some people with hearing loss are very sensitive to loud sounds. This reduced tolerance for loud sounds is not uncommon. Avoid situations where there will be loud sounds when possible.

11. If the hearing impaired person has difficulty understanding a particular phrase or word, try to find a different way of saying the same thing, rather than repeating the original words over and over.

12. Acquaint the listener with the general topic of the conversation. Avoid sudden changes of topic. If the subject is changed, tell the hearing impaired person what you are talking about now. In a group setting, repeat questions or key facts before continuing with the discussion.

13. If you are giving specific information -- such as time, place or phone numbers -- to someone who is hearing impaired, have them repeat the specifics back to you. Many numbers and words sound alike.

14. Whenever possible, provide pertinent information in writing, such as directions, schedules, work assignments, etc.

15. Recognize that everyone, especially the hard-of-hearing, has a harder time hearing and understanding when ill or tired.

16. Pay attention to the listener. A puzzled look may indicate misunderstanding. Tactfully ask the hearing impaired person if they understood you, or ask leading questions so you know your message got across.

17. Take turns speaking and avoid interrupting other speakers.

18. Enroll in aural rehabilitation classes with your hearing impaired spouse or friend.

"10 Tips For Communicating With People With Hearing Loss" (from Beltone)

1. Get their attention Getting the listener’s attention before you start speaking will give them a moment to shift their attention and focus on you. Try saying the person’s name, touching their arm or using a gesture to get their attention.

2. Eye contact Ensure that you are face to face with your hearing impaired listener. Maintaining eye contact will help them focus on what you’re saying. Lip reading and facial expressions play a large part in communicating for both sides of the conversation.

3. Speak naturally and clearly – don’t shout Speak clearly, at a normal or slightly slower speed and enunciate your words. Speaking in a slightly louder voice may also help your listener understand, but be careful not to shout. Shouting distorts the sound of your words and can make lip reading more difficult.

4. Keep your hands away from your face Most listeners depend on lip reading and facial expressions to understand conversations more completely. Be sure not to cover your face and avoid exaggerated facial expressions that may distort your mouth and impede the listener’s ability to lip read.

5. Rephrase If you find that you’re being asked to repeat yourself, try rephrasing and using different words to make your message easier to understand. Ask leading or clarifying questions throughout the conversation to ensure your message is clear.

6. Avoid excessive background noise Background noise makes listening conditions difficult for those with hearing loss, try to avoid situations where there will be loud noises whenever possible. Turn off the television/radio, move away from noisy areas and if you’re in a social environment, try to find a quiet place to sit or a seat in a restaurant that is away from the kitchen or large gatherings.

7. Talk into their “good ear” Many people who suffer from hearing loss tend to have one ear that is stronger than the other. Look for cues as to which ear that is, ask them if appropriate, and situate yourself on that side of your listener.

8. Watch your listener Pay attention to your listener’s facial expressions and body language for signs of confusion or that they don’t understand. If you notice that they seem puzzled, tactfully ask if they understand or if they need clarification.

9. Speak to the person, not the interpreter If your listener communicates via an interpreter, be sure to keep your eyes on and speak directly to your listener and not the interpreter. It may seem odd at first, but the interpreter is a tool to help the listener communicate.

10. Be understanding You may feel understandably frustrated when interacting with the hearing impaired, but keep in mind how it must be for them on a daily basis. Be patient. Communicating with hearing loss is a cooperative effort and requires understanding from both sides.

I'd add a few other pieces of advice:

1. Don't talk while you are walking away.

2. When getting into or out of a car with someone, don't talk while you are on opposite sides. Wait until you're both in the car, or until you're close to each other outside the car. And don't talk while the garage door is going up or down.

3. Never say "Never mind." It makes the person you say it to feel unimportant to you!

When I'm on the phone with someone who's speaking too quickly, or who has a foreign accent (which I generally find hard to understand), I always start by saying that I'm hard of hearing, and that I'd appreciate it if they could speak a bit slower (and louder, if I think that would help). Sales people and help line people often forget that sometime during the conversation. If so, I try to gently remind them.

I hope this is helpful!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Hearing Loss Support Group.

larryplano | @larryplano | Oct 12, 2021
In reply to @julieo4 "Hi again Larry! The only reason HLAA chapters exist is because people like you (and me)..." + (show)
@julieo4

Hi again Larry! The only reason HLAA chapters exist is because people like you (and me) started them in their home regions. I came out of my 'hard of hearing closet' when I was in my late 30s. I had a friend who was a reporter for local news. She wrote an article about hearing loss and mentioned a 'meeting' that would take place at the local library. I called that meeting and was the person they came to hear without having a clue what it would be about other than hearing loss.

I was shocked when 50+ people of all ages showed up. It was the first time most of them had ever talked about their hearing loss. A group of 11 from that group decided to get together to see if we might be able to start a support group. The hearing aid providers in the area thought we were nuts because they knew how much people hid hearing loss. That group of 11 met many times over the next several months. Much of the talk at those gatherings was about our frustrations and experiences with friends, family and jobs. It helped so much to realize we were all having similar experiences. Learning we were not alone was huge. Our ages ran from 18 - 80. Just sitting around the table was therapeutic. Only one person talked at a time. We turned off all the background noise, etc. That is how HLAA Fox Valley Chapter started, and has been going ever since.

Traveling alone was not on my personal agenda then, and I was scared stiff to travel to the first national convention alone. I did though, and found it was the absolute best opportunity for me to experience something positive about hearing loss. It motivated me to get more involved and I ended up on the organization's national board of trustees. Again, people of many ages and from very different walks of life. I was lucky my spouse and daughter supported me even though they were a bit concerned about me traveling alone.

Only mentioning this because I encourage you to consider traveling to that national convention if you possibly can. You will not be disappointed. You will be motivated. It's worth saving for. My spouse and daughter eventually attended a few of those annual conventions. The funniest thing was that they were the ones who felt a bit left out in the crowd.

One other thing; learning to modulate your voice takes practice. Work on it. You don't have to shout to hear yourself. It becomes a habit. Many hard of hearing people speak too softly. Again, it's something that takes a bit of practice.

Last, but not least is learning about assistive tech that goes beyond hearing aids. Having a telecoil in a hearing aid is like having a gold mine at your disposal. It allows the use of hand held microphones, and other technology installed in meeting spaces. It can be connected to the TV at home, or installed around a room. It requires learning how to use. A simple $50 neckloop, used with telecoil equipped hearing aids can connect you to audio devices like computers, radios, cell phones, etc. Yes, BlueTooth can also do some of that, but learning to use both telecoils and BT is most helpful.

Without SHHH/HLAA these technologies might not be available today. No, they didn't do the research, but they promoted the concept that people with hearing loss needed more, and wanted more. And more research into medicine and technology was vital to improve things. This has been challenging because a very active culturally Deaf population has been extremely loud about NOT wanting to be 'fixed'. The public hears that and always tended to lump us all together even though the data shows that only 2 million Deaf people feel that way, while most of the 46 million other people with hearing spend their energy trying to hide they have it.

Sorry, on my bandwagon here, but if we who have hearing loss don't get more involved in effecting change related to curing and remedying it, little attention is given to a problem experienced by nearly 18% of the population. And, we know that many from the rest of the population are affected by hearing loss because they are close to us.

Jump to this post

Julie, you are such an inspiration to me, not only with your insights and suggestions, but your energy and passion for helping others. The heart of a servant. You also exhibit great wisdom with your answers and advice. I recognize and acknowledge all that and it moves me! I would love to start an HLAA chapter, but alas, I have other responsibilities, including a full-time job, independent research for which I maintain a website, grandchildren for whom I would love to just drop everything and spend 100% time with them and of course, my own immediate family (wife and daughter). On top of all that, I live a Jewish lifestyle, which means Saturday meetings are not an option. I noticed that most meetings, when held, are on Saturdays.

I appreciate your advice on learning to modulate my voice and yes, it will take practice. I'm taking "baby steps," starting off by leaving the room when accepting phone calls, and TRYING to lower my voice while speaking to others. It's not easy to do the latter, and I'm simultaneously just trying to speak less. I'm sure it's a change that's greatly appreciated!

I had never heard of "telecoils." I will need to look into those!

Thank you for such caring passion.

REPLY
1 reply
happy2bhere | @happy2bhear | Oct 14, 2021
In reply to @larryplano "Julie, you are such an inspiration to me, not only with your insights and suggestions, but..." + (show)
@larryplano

Julie, you are such an inspiration to me, not only with your insights and suggestions, but your energy and passion for helping others. The heart of a servant. You also exhibit great wisdom with your answers and advice. I recognize and acknowledge all that and it moves me! I would love to start an HLAA chapter, but alas, I have other responsibilities, including a full-time job, independent research for which I maintain a website, grandchildren for whom I would love to just drop everything and spend 100% time with them and of course, my own immediate family (wife and daughter). On top of all that, I live a Jewish lifestyle, which means Saturday meetings are not an option. I noticed that most meetings, when held, are on Saturdays.

I appreciate your advice on learning to modulate my voice and yes, it will take practice. I'm taking "baby steps," starting off by leaving the room when accepting phone calls, and TRYING to lower my voice while speaking to others. It's not easy to do the latter, and I'm simultaneously just trying to speak less. I'm sure it's a change that's greatly appreciated!

I had never heard of "telecoils." I will need to look into those!

Thank you for such caring passion.

Jump to this post

My husband and I have found that putting a small flashlight at the entrance to the bedroom and living room helps more than anything else.
1. Just a small one can hang as you enter. Flick it and flash for a second and I turn around. I can't tell you the HUGE amount of relief it is to both of us. Also, I don't get startled any more. He would walk in when it was dark and I wouldn't notice because I can't hear him, then bam.... I really don't like that feeling. The flashlight has resolved tons.
2. It is much easier to gripe and complain about another's 'defects'. I doubt anyone would try to get our attention for more than 20-30 seconds if that. But there is some hidden anger in someone who says it took 3 minutes.
I call foul. That is not my fault, it is the fibber and angry person who doesn't want to 'put themselves out' 'change from what is 'normal''
3. Griping is only going to make it worse. Do they feel satisfaction knowing they griped? Unfortunately some do. Next time there is free moments, ask if you can discuss the entire hearing issue and find out what triggers the other person. Find out if there is something you can do to help that person with something in their day - they obviously think they are the only one inconvenienced by your hearing loss.
4. Finally - no one likes a disability. But it becomes bigger than all of us when it ruins a moment, or a day. Try for positive calm... that's all. Nothing spectacular, just positive calm days and nights. When others recognize that you won't stand for anger in your life, they will get on board. And they should if they love you. There is too much life changes being made at very high levels these days. We can control our home environment and staying calm it the answer. I honestly believe my hearing has gotten a touch better since I devote myself to calm-positive days.
My best to you to find peace. and a flashlight or two.

REPLY
1 reply
larryplano | @larryplano | Oct 28, 2021
In reply to @happy2bhear "My husband and I have found that putting a small flashlight at the entrance to the..." + (show)
@happy2bhear

My husband and I have found that putting a small flashlight at the entrance to the bedroom and living room helps more than anything else.
1. Just a small one can hang as you enter. Flick it and flash for a second and I turn around. I can't tell you the HUGE amount of relief it is to both of us. Also, I don't get startled any more. He would walk in when it was dark and I wouldn't notice because I can't hear him, then bam.... I really don't like that feeling. The flashlight has resolved tons.
2. It is much easier to gripe and complain about another's 'defects'. I doubt anyone would try to get our attention for more than 20-30 seconds if that. But there is some hidden anger in someone who says it took 3 minutes.
I call foul. That is not my fault, it is the fibber and angry person who doesn't want to 'put themselves out' 'change from what is 'normal''
3. Griping is only going to make it worse. Do they feel satisfaction knowing they griped? Unfortunately some do. Next time there is free moments, ask if you can discuss the entire hearing issue and find out what triggers the other person. Find out if there is something you can do to help that person with something in their day - they obviously think they are the only one inconvenienced by your hearing loss.
4. Finally - no one likes a disability. But it becomes bigger than all of us when it ruins a moment, or a day. Try for positive calm... that's all. Nothing spectacular, just positive calm days and nights. When others recognize that you won't stand for anger in your life, they will get on board. And they should if they love you. There is too much life changes being made at very high levels these days. We can control our home environment and staying calm it the answer. I honestly believe my hearing has gotten a touch better since I devote myself to calm-positive days.
My best to you to find peace. and a flashlight or two.

Jump to this post

happy2bhere, thank you very much for those kind suggestions and the accompanying encouragement. I will keep the flashlight idea in mind. I understand your commenting that you wouldn't notice your husband entering a room because you can't hear him, then bam…! Or is it more like "BAM!"? It's weird, but I startle very easily. Sometimes when I'm working on something in my study, intensely focused on what I'm doing, suddenly (or shall I say, "BAM!"), I am jolted by my wife standing next to me asking me something! I almost fly out of my seat! Thankfully, she is working on alleviating this problem by gently tapping on the door with her fingernails as she enters the room, which produces a gentle sound alarm effect.

About your #2 and #3 comments: I agree with you! Griping, harsh words, angry glances -- they just don't work. They hurt. It really needs to stop if we're going to make any progress.

Regrettably, the ongoing consensus seems to be that I'm the problem. I could describe the latest hurtful episode, but it might be perceived as venting. It's so sad, but I'm afraid my hearing loss is destroying a family that was once filled with love. I have tried to do my part to keep things running in our household; I'm not perfect, but I try to do the right things. I nevertheless feel like the "odd man out," and I'm running out of positive options.

We've been trying to work things out, but I currently don't see much hope for success. The dilemma faced by hard-of-hearing folks like me is, while we TRY to lower our voices, we inevitably end up forgetting ourselves during conversations and the volume gets higher without our noticing any changes. My wife and daughter then make me feel as though I'm deliberately ditching my agreement to speak more softly. This scenario reminds me of these phone calls I've made to tech support when I end up speaking with someone outside of the USA. They're always polite, but they often speak so fast I can't keep up, which means I don't understand how to follow their instructions. So I ask them to please s-l-o-w d-o-w-n, and for about two minutes they speak slowly enough for me to follow along; however, they subconsiously end up resuming their fast pace and I once again find myself asking them to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. I know they don't intentionally speak fast -- that's just they way they've been either trained or conditioned to speak, and it's not easy to make adjustments like that. I get it, especially when I find out I've raised my volume (again!). But it's not intentional and the offender shouldn't be made to feel like he or she is doing it on purpose.

As an example of what things are currently like in my life: Our grandchildren, who only live a few miles from us, were over for a recent visit and my wife put on a movie for them to watch. One convenience we have is a pair of headsets that can be worn by those who want to hear the TV/movie better. So my wife set the volume at what she felt is the proper volume, which required my putting on my headset, even with my hearing aids on. During the movie, one of our grandchildren told me she couldn't hear what the characters were saying. It was only THEN that the volume was turned up.

Our son has also brought over a movie or two for us to all watch together, and my wife has allowed him to take charge of setting things up, including the volume. The way he sets the volume, I had NO PROBLEM hearing anything and there was no need to even wear a headset. Strangely, no one complained that it was too loud. But if I put on a movie when it's just the three of us, you can bet I'd better not set the volume as loud as my son does! Thoughts such as "double standard" DO enter my brain, and it saddens me! Even when I pointed out this double standard, it was dismissed.

I support your call for "positive calm," but it's not easy when you open yourself up for criticism by even speaking. My only current solution is to try to be pleasant while limiting the words I speak because I've been told that when I speak, I hurt my daughter's ears.

Thanks again for your encouragement! I wish you the best with your hearing challenges!

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Julie, Volunteer Mentor | @julieo4 | Oct 29, 2021
In reply to @larryplano "happy2bhere, thank you very much for those kind suggestions and the accompanying encouragement. I will keep..." + (show)
@larryplano

happy2bhere, thank you very much for those kind suggestions and the accompanying encouragement. I will keep the flashlight idea in mind. I understand your commenting that you wouldn't notice your husband entering a room because you can't hear him, then bam…! Or is it more like "BAM!"? It's weird, but I startle very easily. Sometimes when I'm working on something in my study, intensely focused on what I'm doing, suddenly (or shall I say, "BAM!"), I am jolted by my wife standing next to me asking me something! I almost fly out of my seat! Thankfully, she is working on alleviating this problem by gently tapping on the door with her fingernails as she enters the room, which produces a gentle sound alarm effect.

About your #2 and #3 comments: I agree with you! Griping, harsh words, angry glances -- they just don't work. They hurt. It really needs to stop if we're going to make any progress.

Regrettably, the ongoing consensus seems to be that I'm the problem. I could describe the latest hurtful episode, but it might be perceived as venting. It's so sad, but I'm afraid my hearing loss is destroying a family that was once filled with love. I have tried to do my part to keep things running in our household; I'm not perfect, but I try to do the right things. I nevertheless feel like the "odd man out," and I'm running out of positive options.

We've been trying to work things out, but I currently don't see much hope for success. The dilemma faced by hard-of-hearing folks like me is, while we TRY to lower our voices, we inevitably end up forgetting ourselves during conversations and the volume gets higher without our noticing any changes. My wife and daughter then make me feel as though I'm deliberately ditching my agreement to speak more softly. This scenario reminds me of these phone calls I've made to tech support when I end up speaking with someone outside of the USA. They're always polite, but they often speak so fast I can't keep up, which means I don't understand how to follow their instructions. So I ask them to please s-l-o-w d-o-w-n, and for about two minutes they speak slowly enough for me to follow along; however, they subconsiously end up resuming their fast pace and I once again find myself asking them to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. I know they don't intentionally speak fast -- that's just they way they've been either trained or conditioned to speak, and it's not easy to make adjustments like that. I get it, especially when I find out I've raised my volume (again!). But it's not intentional and the offender shouldn't be made to feel like he or she is doing it on purpose.

As an example of what things are currently like in my life: Our grandchildren, who only live a few miles from us, were over for a recent visit and my wife put on a movie for them to watch. One convenience we have is a pair of headsets that can be worn by those who want to hear the TV/movie better. So my wife set the volume at what she felt is the proper volume, which required my putting on my headset, even with my hearing aids on. During the movie, one of our grandchildren told me she couldn't hear what the characters were saying. It was only THEN that the volume was turned up.

Our son has also brought over a movie or two for us to all watch together, and my wife has allowed him to take charge of setting things up, including the volume. The way he sets the volume, I had NO PROBLEM hearing anything and there was no need to even wear a headset. Strangely, no one complained that it was too loud. But if I put on a movie when it's just the three of us, you can bet I'd better not set the volume as loud as my son does! Thoughts such as "double standard" DO enter my brain, and it saddens me! Even when I pointed out this double standard, it was dismissed.

I support your call for "positive calm," but it's not easy when you open yourself up for criticism by even speaking. My only current solution is to try to be pleasant while limiting the words I speak because I've been told that when I speak, I hurt my daughter's ears.

Thanks again for your encouragement! I wish you the best with your hearing challenges!

Jump to this post

You make a lot of points that most people with adult onset hearing loss can identify with. People do not understand what we are going through. When we get hearing aids they expect them to be a cure all rather than an 'aid', which is what they are. They are only helpers.

As I've said before, meeting other people who are going through the same thing you are going through is very helpful. It's good to just be able to talk about 'it' with others who 'get it' and have 'it'. Your experiences are not unique. They are typical. Your feelings need to be validated by people who are experiencing those same feelings.

Some family members tend to be caretakers, while others tend to be impatient perfectionists. Our hearing loss changes their lives too. Reality. I'm just kidding (I think.), but if your speech hurts your daughter's ears, perhaps she should wear ear plugs when she is around you. Let her be the solution to her problem.

After many years of using hearing aids, I got a cochlear implant nearly 15 years ago. It has been a remarkable blessing. I still use a hearing aid on the other ear, so I am what is referred to as 'bimodal'. It has helped me modulate my voice. I can hear TV far better than I could before, and in social settings I'm doing much better than I did before. I do use the add on technologies in most social settings and am grateful that those are available

Hearing loss change my life drastically as it progressed from mild to profound. I lost interest in activities that required being around people in social settings. I gained interest in quieter activities I could do alone. I read more. Captioning on TV became standard in my family, and I'm grateful to my husband and daughter for accepting that. I watched my 3 year old granddaughter learn to read as she watched those captions and sang along to her favorite kids TV programs. There was some 'good' in all those struggles.

That granddaughter, who is now an adult, and I are writing a book about her experiences with a hard of hearing grandparent, Now, if we can just figure out how to get it published!!!! And find the time to do it.

Hearing loss is not easy to live with; ours or someone elses. Talking about it helps. I'm glad you found this forum on MCC to vent and discuss. Venting is a good thing sometimes. 🙂

REPLY
larryplano | @larryplano | Oct 29, 2021

Julie, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and empathy regarding the issues I'm experiencing with hearing loss. It means more than you can imagine! I love my family, but I do not love the direction in which we are currently heading. The joy is practically gone. Since things don't really appear to be improving or progressing in a positive direction, I'm starting to consider more strongly attending that convention in Tampa, which you previously mentioned will take place in June. Sadly, I would most likely attend by myself because I do not get the feeling anyone else in my family would be supportive or interested. To be fair, my wife does want to be present the next time I have an appointment with my audiologist, so that much is encouraging. When that happens, I plan on inquiring about possibly getting the cochlear implants that you mentioned.

About my (adult) daughter's comment, "YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS!": I am embarrassed to report that she blurted out those words in the presence of a guest in our home during, of all things, a Bible study. I thought we raised our children to be respectful of others, to honor their parents, but even on a basic level we are to bear with each other in love (Eph. 4:1-3). I was so stunned and embarrassed by her sudden outburst that I didn't know what to say in that moment; suffice it to say I will not be known as someone who says what needs to be said in the heat of the moment. But later, when I told her that her words hurt, all this accomplished was to make her all the more upset at me (i.e., tears were shed) -- I was afraid that might happen because on top of the concern described above, she is ultra-sensitive to criticism. And my wife, who was present when I expressed my feelings to our daughter, did not come to my defense. Later, in private, my wife told me, "Well, MAYBE she could have phrased her words a little differently than she did." So that was the support I received.

It's difficult for me to explain my relationship with my daughter. One might deduce that I'm presenting her as a mean-spirited person, but she is not. One thing that has long puzzled me is how, when she and I are home by ourselves, she is consistently kind, loving and giving of herself. But when my wife is home with us, for some reason the dynamics seem to change. I realize what I'm saying here is unrelated to the topic of hearing loss, but I do want to balance things out a little by emphasizing that my daughter is not a mean-spirited person, though her words can sometimes be downright pointed and hurtful. I should add that my wife is also a loving and caring person; but she tends to defend our daughter whenever these conflicts arise, i.e., she presents it as something I need to work on improving or correcting -- I'm the problem and I'm on my own when it comes to defending myself.

One thing you wrote seems so simple and obvious, yet I think it offers a HUGE perspective that I think many, my family included, overlook. You wrote, "When we get hearing aids they expect them to be a cure all rather than an 'aid', which is what they are. They are only helpers." That aspect needs to be emphasized more than it is!! I sense my family feels as though inserting my hearing aids is supposed to put me on the same hearing level as them -- it most assuredly DOES NOT.

About our daughter wearing ear plugs: She has told me that she often puts in ear plugs whenever we have guests over for Bible studies, etc.; however, I don't know if she was wearing them when she told me I was hurting her ears. She has previously told me that I come across too loud even when she's wearing ear plugs.

I am already interested in reading the book you and your granddaughter are writing! The fact that you identify with nearly every issue I've encountered makes me curious as to how they will be assimilated in your book. And thanks again for taking the time to address my concerns and feelings.

REPLY
deek15redpeppers | @deek15redpeppers | Nov 23, 2021

I'm reading this long after you posted it, but it is excellent. If only spouses would follow these tips! Somehow my friends do a better job than my spouse. She just doesn't "get it" even after many years of my wearing aids. Her common statement is "You just don't listen to me!" Never mind if we were in 2 different rooms when she told me something. Enough complaining.... I just wanted to say thanks for posting this.

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