1. < Prostate Cancer

The waiting is terrible: Husband has Stage 4 prostate cancer

Posted by beaquilter @beaquilter, Mar 7 11:05am

My husband just got diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer.
This is how it started.... He's 55 and in good shape/ works out and eats right etc. The last year or so he's had urinary problems or frequencies and ED, but all of last year was super stressful, he lost his job and his parents passed away after he/we were taking care of them (in their 90s) He finally went to the doctor and thought he just had enlarge prostate etc and wanted it checked out. PSA was 251!! Then that triggered him getting a CT scan two days later and that showed cancer and in the lymph nodes (googled it and it shows stage 4 or 3), met with a urologist a few days later and he confirmed LATE stage prostate cancer (stage 4) but want to do a biopsy, which he got gone a week or so later and Gleason scores were mostly 8 and 9s and groups were 4 and 5s....referral to oncologist still, then in the meantime the PSMA PET scan two days ago and at night the results showed heavily in the lungs, lymph nodes, bones, skeleton, pelvic area etc...(again we google stuff and knew it was bad) we can't see the oncologist until 10 days from now! the waiting is terrible!!
We don't even know if they can do anything!!
The only symptoms are frequent peeing (or at least trying) about every hour and ever since this started I noticed a slight cough, nothing major but I immediately thought LUNGS (and was sadly right)
Just really sad....

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ededed | @ededed | 1 day ago

I try to avoid the waiting mindset. I work hard to approach each and every day as a new and unique opportunity to live.

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1 reply
chippydoo | @chippydoo | 1 day ago
In reply to @ededed "I try to avoid the waiting mindset. I work hard to approach each and every day..." + (show)
@ededed

I try to avoid the waiting mindset. I work hard to approach each and every day as a new and unique opportunity to live.

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Exactly, squeezing the most out of every single day one day at a time.

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frankybaby | @frankybaby | 1 day ago
In reply to @laffcris "Good that he’s receiving treatment and sounds like his doctors have him on a plan to..." + (show)
@laffcris

Good that he’s receiving treatment and sounds like his doctors have him on a plan to address his disease. Being the support spouse is tough. Husbands often aren’t the best communicators, planners or organizers. My sisters-in-laws are super supportive and there when I need a listener. When mine was first diagnosed it was a shock and felt ominous. Knowing more about his disease and the plan moving forward has helped relieve those feelings of dread. The plan is to manage the disease. There is no cure but there are lots of options to stop and slow the progression. If one stops working, we try another. Initially we weren’t able to think about the future because it felt like death would be right around the corner. But knowing that men live for many years managing prostate cancer has helped lift that dark cloud. If your husband does try Lupron there is a drug, Casodex, they give for several days that blocks the effects of the testosterone surge. I will say all these hormones mine is taking make him a bit more moody. Told him, welcome to menopause.

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I have stage 4 prostate cancer. When I was diagnosed my PSA was 326. Extremely high. I changed my eating pattern and my last PSA was 1.10 after 6 months. I just completed 21 days of radiation. I’m also on Lupron and Erleada (apilutimide) . I do have hot flashes like no tomorrow but I feel that is a minor thing to put up with considering.

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2 replies
jeff Marchi | @jeffmarc | 23 hours ago
In reply to @frankybaby "I have stage 4 prostate cancer. When I was diagnosed my PSA was 326. Extremely high...." + (show)
@frankybaby

I have stage 4 prostate cancer. When I was diagnosed my PSA was 326. Extremely high. I changed my eating pattern and my last PSA was 1.10 after 6 months. I just completed 21 days of radiation. I’m also on Lupron and Erleada (apilutimide) . I do have hot flashes like no tomorrow but I feel that is a minor thing to put up with considering.

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I had severe hot flashes for the first year on Lupron. As a hot flash was hitting I would feel a lot of fatigue. After a year, my oncologist prescribed a depo-provera shot every three months and it really stopped those hot flashes on Lupron. There are other hormones that can do this, speak to your doctor.
I know one person that says eating tofu every day really controlled his hot flashes, another person in this forum said the same thing. Can’t hurt to try it. Black Cohash is also said to help. Acupuncture works for some people.

I have an embrlabs.com wave product (wave 2). I’ve used it for Over three years now. It’s like a refrigerator that looks like a watch and sits on the inside of your wrist. You could set up one of the buttons for their night mode . Hit the button twice and It Produces cold waves at measured times during the night and prevents hot flashes and night sweats. They used to bug me, before I got this device . When you start to feel a hot flash coming on, you hit another one of the buttons twice and it sends cold chills through your arms and it reduces the intensity, shortens the life and can stop the hot flashes if hit quickly enough.
https://embrlabs.com/

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northoftheborder | @northoftheborder | 22 hours ago
In reply to @frankybaby "I have stage 4 prostate cancer. When I was diagnosed my PSA was 326. Extremely high...." + (show)
@frankybaby

I have stage 4 prostate cancer. When I was diagnosed my PSA was 326. Extremely high. I changed my eating pattern and my last PSA was 1.10 after 6 months. I just completed 21 days of radiation. I’m also on Lupron and Erleada (apilutimide) . I do have hot flashes like no tomorrow but I feel that is a minor thing to put up with considering.

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A desk fan is a very good investment. Whenever you feel a hot flush starting, just sit down in front of it for a few minutes, and you'll feel much better.

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1 reply
jeff Marchi | @jeffmarc | 8 hours ago
In reply to @northoftheborder "A desk fan is a very good investment. Whenever you feel a hot flush starting, just..." + (show)
@northoftheborder

A desk fan is a very good investment. Whenever you feel a hot flush starting, just sit down in front of it for a few minutes, and you'll feel much better.

Jump to this post

I’ve used a little desk fan with a clip and it can also just stand on a flat surface. I can clip on something even an 1 1/2 or so inches thick. It is variable speed and rechargeable. Battery lasts for many hours, I probably end up charging it less than once a month.

If I get a hot flash I turn on my Wave 2 and the fan, if it’s close by.

When I just looked for the same thing on Amazon. It was almost double the price and now three speed not variable speed. Tariffs any one.
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