Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

My husband was initially borderline resectable one year ago. Over the next 9 months, he did chemo and radiation. The final determination in December is he is not a candidate for surgery. The tumor is too close to a blood vessel. A 2nd opinion at Mayo confirmed that and also found small tumors on his lungs. So he is on chemo for life (and there's more to that story) but we also added a Naturopathic MD to his medical team. He has been taking Low Dose Naltroxene (LDN) and adding supplements to his conventional regimen (chemo). His blood work numbers are the best they've ever been. So conventional and alternative are definitely important in my experience.

That is good news,@marciakaye! My husband, also has inoperable pancreatic cancer and is in “chemo for life” at Mayo, beginning month 20 and holding his own. Is your husband’s naturopathic M.D. at Mayo?

@nasagia36- Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm glad that you found us. It must be very, very difficult for you to watch your dad fighting Pancreatic Cancer. Are you his caretaker? How are you doing yourself? Are you living in his home so that you can be with him? I know that COVID-19 is a huge scare for people in treatments for cancer. You might be interested in this link too:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/pancreatic-cancer/
Here is one on alternative treatments for Pancreatic Cancer: https://pancreatica.org/pancreatic-cancer/pancreatic-cancer-alternative-complementary-holistic-treatment/

Dr. Sheba Roy is the Naturopathic MD. She's located in Michigan. Our oncologist at Henry Ford Hospital recommended her. Maybe your Mayo oncologist has a local recommendation. I'm not sure but maybe Dr. Roy would see patients remotely. If you're interested her web-site is https://www.aimnatural.org/.
Recently, I listened to a series put on by Hay House called Radical Remissions. Kelly Turner is the driving forced behind Radical Remissions. She has studied patients, most are cancer-related but not all, to determine what factors led to their surviving and thriving when the statistics aren't promising. When the patient has a low survival rate under 5 years. She found many factors including as you would expect exercise, diet, nutrition, and supplements to be important. But also other factors too. Maybe check that out for hope and inspiration. I'm always looking for that myself.

Thank you, @marciakaye. I will check that out.

Thanks for the recommendation, @marciakaye. Integrative medicine is becoming increasingly adopted by major cancer centers.

@julie2018, Mayo Clinic has an Integrative Medicine department at all 3 campuses: AZ, FL and MN. Here's more information: https://www.mayoclinic.org/departments-centers/integrative-medicine-health/sections/overview/ovc-20464567

@colleenyoung, I'm not sure this is the best forum, or if there is one, for posting this. I have been integrally involved with caring for and providing meals for my closest friend of 40+ years. Recently her Stage 4 MBC returned with a vengeance and the new is very aggressive.

Since her recent release from the hospital, her daughter from out-of-state has been caring for her along with help from my friend's wonderful partner of over 20 yrs. After weeks of being here and a few very stressful situations because of daughter's determination to be the "ultimate and final" decision maker regarding home health care, medical choices and now financial matters, the daughter has been told to leave. The daughter does have medical power of attorney. The daughter has emotional problems and it was just a matter of time for this to occur. If my friends weren't so incredibly easy going and "not rock the boat types", this would have happened much sooner.

Almost immediately ff my friend's hospital release, we were struck with the covid-19 spread. Because I have compromised lung and other chronic health issues, I promised my daughter, who lives out-of-state, that I would self-quarantine which I have done. With the friend's daughter leaving, my want/desire to resume meal prep for my friend has returned full force. I have not been driving but could deliver the meals and hubby could take them from trunk without my going inside.

Because there are different health care people coming and going throughout the week and also because my friend has been going for wound treatment and infusions to our cancer center weekly, I fear being near her in person. Zoom is out because she no longer can work with her computer because of memory loss.

I've offered to help her guy order food delivery from a local source and he's agreed to that. I haven't yet offered the resumed meal preps but feel some trepidation because of the needed handling of dishes back and forth. Wish there were a professional meal prep service available or maybe even an individual who could be hired to prepare daily meals. Any suggestions or tips?

@fiesty76 this is a good place for your post to get ideas from other people who have advanced stage cancer.

This is such a difficult situation, especially in times of social isolation. Given your friend's state, it sound like your efforts will shift to helping her caregiver/partner. Even without COVID, the end stages of caregiving can feel very isolating. Do whatever you can do to support him and let him know he is not alone. That may simply be phone calls. Daily meals are a fantastic service, but I understand your trepidation with handling dishes etc. Might you consider less frequent deliveries and offering multi-day portions in throw-away containers that do not need to be returned?

@colleenyoung, Thanks for your response. Yes, you make good points. Her partner endured this dreadful experience with the mother of his children many years ago. He is a wonderful man and so attentive. If he is busy when I call, leaving a message will at least let him know they are in my thoughts.

Not sure about the multi-day portions for less frequent deliveries because it seems a priority just to turn out one main meal each day for myself. Usually my previous meals were enough for more than one meal and I did sometimes use sealable baggies, which I'd forgotten about, and still have some multi-sized tin foil containers and can order more. Less for him to have to clean up would be helpful for him as well.

We've given him a hard time for years about his diet preferences and yet, he is in his 80's, is very active, takes no otc or prescriptions,and has had only one surgery, either gall or kidney stones. Luckily my friend and I share similar tastes so that helps tremendously. Thanks again for reminding me about using more disposables...my mind is in more of a fog these days but it can't be due to aging because I yam still the same age as a few months ago, right? Smiles.

@fiesty76 What an awesome friend you are! I know that your closest friend and her partner are thrilled to have you in their lives.

Not sure where you live, but can you look in to Meals on Wheels perhaps, or contact a culinary college/group nearby that may be able to give you some ideas? Being in a rural community like i am, if I was faced with such an issue, letting people know would result in a chain of meals delivered, or access to a delivery system out of the county seat [an hour away].

And, what are you doing for yourself, knowing this Stage 4 MBC has returned to revisit her? This must be difficult for you, too.
Ginger