fast and irregular heartbeat has and is ruining my life. Most people only have to go through the feeling of dying once in a lifetime. Every time my heart beats rapid or irregular I have to experience the possiblity of death. As such I have become scared depress sad and isolated. Paradox is: that Im afraid to 'spread my wings and go to remote places, because if I have an attack--how will I get to a hospital and surrvive. So I isolate myself and don't spread my wings. Yet by nature I am an adventurer--so this isolation leads to more depression. What is the lesson in all of this. I am so afraid of dying that I think of suicide to end it I am so sick of living in this FEAR. The doctors SUCK--they never have any good solid advice. I read and read--seems others find ways to heal. Ijust cannot seem to connect with someone who can help. I was a butterfly who turned into a moth from the fear of dying while I try to live.