Struggling with my MD's style
I had a visit with my oncologist Monday morning. This is the third one since this process started. I am told he is a good MD, and I think that's likely the case–but his approach as he talks to me bothers me. To put it bluntly, I feel like he's written me off. He tells me how many months I'll have until I "start feeling it" or that it "wouldn't be responsible" to go back to my part-time teaching job in August because "by December you won't be able to continue." As he said before, I have "one year, two years, three years." I am aware that this is a difference in style–he believes in being frank and honest– and he's coming from a knowledgeable position of seeing many more cases than just mine. I know this is a lousy cancer, but I'm looking for support and encouragement as well as information, and I don't feel like I'm getting it. As a result, I am really discouraged every time I see him. After meeting with him Monday, I went into chemo nearly in tears. I don't give up easily, and I'm willing to work to fight this cancer and get a little normalcy back in my life. I don't want to switch practices because the nursing care and the hospital system have been incredible, but I'm wondering whether it is worth inquiring about switching MDs. Or perhaps I should say something to this doc the next time. I haven't said anything to him yet. I'd be interested in hearing your perspective. How do your doctors address the challenges and the prognosis? Please tell me about their approach and their style. And thanks for letting me vent.