Spouse not understanding my grieving

Hi I am in the exact same thing my brother passed away in January. Everything for my family been turned upside down . My boyfriend/hubby is sad but he seems to think all grief is the same. Because yes my boyfriend lost his grandparents ,mom, real dad and step dad and friends. My brother was basically the one who did everything for the house he fix everything he drove people everywhere and now without him being here and being passed on I am the one who has to fix things in the house. I don't drive so aleast not having to that takes stress off. But my boyfriend seems to get upset because I am fixing things in the house and upset because my older sister has no idea how to fix things and my mom will be 70 next year and my sister has a boyfriend but he seems to think the same thing that all grief is the same and it being almost 4 months we should be over it now.
I cry so much . I miss him , because for me it's so hard he was my first best friend we did everything together when we were growing up from building snow forts to just everything. And for me it feels like I lost a piece of me when he passed away. I just wish my boyfriend/ hubby understood.

Thoughts hugs and prayers as you adjust to his relocation to God’s loving arms. As for what happened between my husband and I since the post, my husband was laid off from his job about 2 months after my brother died. Then I had a dear friend unexpectedly die. I survived by making lots of excuses to leave the house . I told my husband that I had aviation students to teach. In reality I was having psychotherapy sessions or just being alone to deal with my emotions. Sometimes I just slept. We also did not discuss my brother or my friend’s passing. To this day, we still do not discuss the passings. You road will be very difficult. At times you will survive minute to minute. Please do find a support group on line. I am with Grief.com on Facebook. I can make posts anytime and people provide support. 🤗🤗🙏

Its not for him to understand everyone is to grieve in their own way, but as your spouse its for him to support you in ways that you may need say, room to grieve, a sm note ect Id set aside quality time in a neutral environment and talk to him no “u need to this or that or blame” just start off on choosing the good he may have exhibited when you first had your loss and express how much that made you feel happy or a bit consoled. In the hopes he will “get it” like the compliment and perhaps look for ways to be more of a comfort🩵🤍

I went through this after my mom died, my hubby was great in the beginning then it fade, I still cry and it’s been 7 years, and my hubby has had a lot of loss to his mom and dad and two brothers one he was very close to. And it’s only been 4 years since his youngest brother has died and a year since his oldest brother has died. So I sort of feel left on the back burner, we’re going through moms will now since her husband has passed away almost 2 years ago there’s been stress and brings up the grief all over again, he doesn’t get it, we still have to do moms ashes to and this has all been put on hold till the estate is settled. It’s been very hard on me and he just doesn’t get it, I totally understand his grief and ask him how he is coping and he says “fine” kind of snotty. But hasn’t asked me how I’m doing not once. It really upsets me plus I’m going through some health issues with my left eye, I get nothing. He’s sarcastic and angry he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 2 years ago and I think his sugars are out of whack, and that can cause mood swings, plus he has the family farm to deal with and no real help because his brothers would help and they aren’t here anymore so I do know he is stressed but I’m tired of his nastiness. I have type 2 diabetes to and been dealing with it for ten years and no real emotional support I do go to counselling, it’s just someone to talk to because I don’t have him to talk to, especially when I am really missing my mom. Which I miss her more when he is so mean.