So tired of being stuck...

Posted by lindak1tx @lindak1tx, Jan 16, 2020

Hello. I’m new. I’ve managed my depression, for the most part, most of my life. Mainly by doing. But now, at 62, I’m deemed anti-depressant resistant, and so so stuck. I can’t figure out what to do with myself. I go round and round, considering options, but find myself unable to take the steps necessary. Even easy things, like going to the movies, is too hard. (…nothing I want to see; I don’t want to go by myself; I feel I’m imposing to ask someone, yadda yadda …). I am just wasting my years. And that’s so tragic. Some days are just so so painful. I sleep a lot on many days. Other days I try to ‘kill time’ by reading or watching tv, or long crossword puzzles. My outings are to the grocery store and pharmacy. I have a psychiatrist that bounces me from medication to medication, most of which don’t work. I am on Pristiq now which keeps my head above water, on good days. I want to become someone my two sons and my husband can be proud of. And I’m descending into nothing but a picture of a weak and crippled being. I hate it. But I can’t find help. I’ve been to psych therapist…but my current insurance has terrible ones and I keep explaining I need a real psychologist with experience and solutions. It feels like there is nowhere to go for help. Is there no cure for this terrible condition??!!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety group.

@lioness

@lindakt1tx As you read here there are so many different ways people have found to feel better from there problem of depression. I hope you try different ones or one you may think of to see if this is the one that will help you. Even though Im a retired nurse I dont use alot of meds as I rely on the functional medicine approach . Do what you like to do that makes you happy in your life. This will be your go to when you need it . God bless you

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Try Kratom! Only thing that helps me with neuropathy, pain in legs! Spinal stenosis!

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I had an interesting – and eye opening experience – with a major depression diagnosed at Mayo Clinic. My (lapsed Catholic) ex boyfriend died in July, 2015 and had a difficult death, but finally asked for a priest (a request which the hospice delayed fulfilling nearly 5 days because he had checked "none" for his religion!) and afterwards, died peacefully. I was sad but did not experience overwhelming grief — yet six months later, I was unable to work due to a heavy brain fog. I thought I was getting early dementia, but my memory tests were fine and it was depression. I had 24 months of therapy but did not take drugs, preferring to use a holistic approach. I went to confession the month after the therapy ended, and when the priest informed me even "thoughts can be sinful" and discerned I was experiencing (what I have since discovered is called a "diabolical oppression") he rebuked Satan and the fog immediately lifted. I was amazed! I had never heard that confession can instantly heal a major depression or that suicidal thoughts might be caused by something other than the usual list. I assumed the obsessive suicidal thoughts would return, but they never did – and I experienced lasting and total relief from my symptoms. I started reading up on this miraculous "cure" and just finished Slaying Dragons (newly released and available on Amazon) – and it indicates that this sort of spiritually based psychological problem impacts as many as 1 in 4 people. I can highly recommend confession as a "cure" for suicidal deep depression. It worked for me and I hope other people can find relief by using it along with the usual talk therapy. I now wonder how many suicides could be prevented by seeking help in the confessional. I personally had never heard of such healing and certainly did not expect it. So I am just sharing that as an option when nothing else works or if you are reluctant to take prescription drugs (as I was).

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@carmelite

I had an interesting – and eye opening experience – with a major depression diagnosed at Mayo Clinic. My (lapsed Catholic) ex boyfriend died in July, 2015 and had a difficult death, but finally asked for a priest (a request which the hospice delayed fulfilling nearly 5 days because he had checked "none" for his religion!) and afterwards, died peacefully. I was sad but did not experience overwhelming grief — yet six months later, I was unable to work due to a heavy brain fog. I thought I was getting early dementia, but my memory tests were fine and it was depression. I had 24 months of therapy but did not take drugs, preferring to use a holistic approach. I went to confession the month after the therapy ended, and when the priest informed me even "thoughts can be sinful" and discerned I was experiencing (what I have since discovered is called a "diabolical oppression") he rebuked Satan and the fog immediately lifted. I was amazed! I had never heard that confession can instantly heal a major depression or that suicidal thoughts might be caused by something other than the usual list. I assumed the obsessive suicidal thoughts would return, but they never did – and I experienced lasting and total relief from my symptoms. I started reading up on this miraculous "cure" and just finished Slaying Dragons (newly released and available on Amazon) – and it indicates that this sort of spiritually based psychological problem impacts as many as 1 in 4 people. I can highly recommend confession as a "cure" for suicidal deep depression. It worked for me and I hope other people can find relief by using it along with the usual talk therapy. I now wonder how many suicides could be prevented by seeking help in the confessional. I personally had never heard of such healing and certainly did not expect it. So I am just sharing that as an option when nothing else works or if you are reluctant to take prescription drugs (as I was).

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@carmelite

We humans are born with 3 overlapping persons – body, mind and spirit. The 3 work in interwoven ways. For example, if our body is in pain, it will affect our brains and our spiritual selves. Many people who have depressive disorder experience pain of some sort, as well. I know that when I'm in pain or I'm depressed, it affects my spiritual health. I've learned that if I ignore my spiritual needs, it will affect me in physical ways.

I believe in the power of prayer and confession. I also know that God is sovereign and has the last say in his physical creations. More people who pray for a miracle and don't see it happen than those who pray and do experience physical miracles. Miracle or not, one's faith in God need not be lost, and God's love and care for us will never change. Knowing that God hadn't abandoned me was a significant factor in my recovery from the depths of depression. I'm delighted to hear your experience of healing.

Jim

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I wish more psychologically suffering and mentally ill people knew that free of charge, instantaneous, lasting healing is indeed possible in the confessional. There is nothing like a good confession of personal addiction, dark thoughts, suicidal struggle and painful issues to a qualified, good priest to clear up the problem apparently. I would have never believed this until I experienced it for myself. So I am happy to share my story. I am still pinching myself, it was such an absolute, total surprise. I have since read that "a good confession is 100 times more powerful than any exorcism." So if you are feeling hounded by pain, illness or some problem that feels potentially fatal, that is a viable option. I read an Italian hospital exorcised all their mentally ill patients and half of them went home cured. In our modern times, the confessional is dismissed and downplayed – but apparently (as I found out first hand) there really IS something healing flowing through that particular spiritual sacrament. God works in mysterious ways and His ways are not our ways. I'm just so grateful.

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@johnhans

@lindak1tx welcome to our group. As others have replied, I will report my experience with depression. There are 2 main reasons for depression. One is experience, that is what have we and/or are now going through that causes us stress. Are we dealing with it a good way. That is where a therapist comes in. I have gotten a psychiatrist, but nowadays in the U.S. that is hard to get. After being with him for a year, he is turning me over to a nurse practitioner. That is the way things are going so I realize I need to accept it and go on to using that to my advantage. I also had depression most of my life. That brings up the second cause of depression, a chemical imbalance due to my brain not properly handling the chemicals that control moods. That is where the antidessants come in. Like you, I became resistant to them. Mayo has done some research and concluded that it is a result of no longer having enough of the medicine. As we age our bodies become less efficient at digesting it. Also we may gain weight. Thus we need more. I am taking about 3 times the normal dose and it is finally working. I have been mostly free of depression for over a year. I realize I still need to deal with how I handle life's situations so I work on that as well. I need to make sure to eat properly, get enough sleep, and not be negative in my thinking. I hope this helps you and please keep me posted on how you are doing.

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So sorry for all that feel depressed it's all too easy for others that never suffered from any kind of deep depression/ metal illness they label it, yet if you have broken your arm or leg they have time and plenty of doctors and time for you, it's all too easy for them to dismiss depression health is health . It's easy to get loss and alone in a dark hole especially with website and internet let's face you could shut yourself away like bears for the winter … Sounds great idea to start with . No body to face no issues only your precious thought 's. Truth be told we can feel alone even in a crowd of people. Changing our feelings needs to face our fear of our past what or when where did it start ?! Was it an accident or treble pain from different sauce whether at home or wherever it started pulling back to layers helps first face your biggest fear is it real or phobia ?! Praying helps if that is something you can manage if you believe in a heavenly father just knowing he cares can help if you think about the house had a designer so there has to be intelligent design behind universe ?! That said not trying to stop anyone ideas just if you want to believe in intelligent design that can help you have hope and faith can change bigger things then we are, alone your just you, with help and support your stronger . Hope this helps also I've found gardens help and changes to lifestyle like not eating fast food and sugar that's so refined that isn't anything good to it . Really hope this can help some dear precious ones out there, another thing you might want to check out is ginger root and turmeric (only don't add to milk !!!) Ginger tea is great at healing, ginseng too good for your mind ,balance food's not eating same thing, really helps, set yourself goal each day or month . Baby steps to see how far you have come write down how you feel and what the weather is like anything that made you feel good or not so good , remember nobody is aloud to put you down or hurt you without your say so, write down what you are good at and what your dreams are , one step forward sometimes two back just start over, don't take the blame for what others put on you ,YOU don't have to carry their load. ( my dearest precious Son is sports naturist he gives plenty of time to helping dear ones heal ). Just know your not alone you never where God bless. kind regards swift hug from England

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I can testify to the lack of education and understanding with regards to illnesses of the mind. The stigma surrounding mental illness is totally absent from almost every other illness. It's difficult to live with ongoing negative attitudes.

Depression, anxiety, bipolar, PTSD and a whole list of other illnesses are viewed with disdain or suspicion. I have to admit that my own ignorance of mental illness was less than charitable before I contracted a few of those illnesses. My viewpoint is quite different now, and I regret any things I might have done or said in the past.

The treatment of people with a mental health issue is sometimes cruel or bigoted or both. I'm a professional mask wearer, so people rarely know what lives behind the mask. That's not necessarily a good practice, but I've worn masks since I was a child and it has enabled me to maintain a level of sanity.

Jim

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I was on a low dose of Effexor for almost 20 years to minimize hot flashes. Even though I was not on this medication for mental health reasons, I developed anxiety, akathisia, circular thoughts, fear, irritability and insomnia when I came off the drug and have been working to get past those for almost two years.

The other commenters here have made some good suggestions re upping your dosage, other meds, other treatments, etc. I'm getting the impression that you think you're just spinning your wheels and taking up space, but you said you're going to look into those suggestions and you've tried some already–I applaud you; you ARE trying to help yourself AND not just sitting on a log.

My suggestions are really just baby steps–
I find it very helpful to get natural light into my eyes–not sunbathing, but getting out and seeing daylight. I don't necessarily take a walk, but I, at least, get out on the front patio for 5–10 minutes, or leave the office at lunchtime.

Do you garden at all? There is quite a benefit from getting your hands in dirt. Really! There's a microbiome in it that may double as a natural anti-depressant. Even if you aren't up to a lot of gardening (or that interested), a houseplant, or two can lift your spirits and give you something beautiful to look at and/or smell. I am having fun with amaryllis bulbs right now–I have a few in my kitchen and a couple at work.

I am mindful of what I watch (no frenetic, violent, or disturbing TV, or movies), read (cozy mysteries, or romances are okay), or listen to (no atonal, or dissonant music)–some things are just too agitating.

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@lindak1tx

Jon, your 2 cents is a fortune, for someone who is completely broke (pun intended)! I’m encouraged with lots of possibilities now to investigate with my psychiatrist.

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Hi @lindak1tx – wondering how you are doing?

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