Sleepless
No sleep. My husband has been falling asleep fine but wakes up twice to go to the bathroom, needs redirection and often wants to stay up after 3 or 4 AM. I’m exhausted monitoring all night and trying to keep him asleep so I can sleep.
He is on Trazadone, melatonin and l theanine. I’m going to increase the melatonin and Trazadone.
Also need a new before bed routine. We. No longer can watch anything stressful before bed. Even the baseball game stressed him out.
HELP! What are you all doing to keep your spouse asleep! Getting enough sleep yourself?
This may lead us to memory care as I am exhausted and burning out.
I have a caregiver twice a week during the day. I don’t think I would sleep any better with an overnight caregiver as been suggested.
I like my privacy and hate someone else in my space.
When we move, if he is not in memory care I will have bedroom next to him and can sleep separately.
I’m so sad and so is he when we are sleepless.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.
Sleeping separately works the best. Getting to sleep or getting back to sleep: Read anything. Reading uses a different part of the brain, which, if you are tired will soon turn the words to gibberish. Take off your glasses. Put down the book. Turn off the light and sleep. (Allow yourself not to think)
Any screen, phone, TV, computer, will not allow you to sleep. No matter what the content, the light vibrations are like a one note samba in your brain, and will keep you up.
My husband used to take off in his truck. He had an incident once. He called me and told me he felt bad! When questioning him I thought well he had started a new medication. I helped him by getting him to start drinking. He always had water with him. I tried to make that a habit for us both. He drank and I talked to him while I was dressing. I told him I was coming . I have been keeping some crackers or a piece of fruit. Next thing I know he walked in the door. He was acting like it was not a big deal. He had a habit of I need to go on an errand. Come to find out he would drive down the same street and turn around and come home. This was early Parkinsons. When he told me this I said why? Because it clears my head. I asked why don't you take a walk instead. He still did both. He no longer drives as of last year..Thank God. He does not usually walk around unless he is with me. He has his walker. Sometimes his stamina is ok and other times not. We go home when I see him getting this way. He tires easily and takes 2-3 naps a day now. I think he is bored. But trying to engage him is getting harder as he does not know how to do some things and others he has totally forgotten. I have a room across from him . He stays in this room as I bought him a lower bed so he could get in and out. He sleeps 6-8 hours a night. He gets up to take one of his medications as he is has hypothyroidism. Sleeps about 45 minutes to an hour. I hear him get out of bed because he clears his throat and the bathroom is between to two rooms. He likes to watch too much TV lately. He does not use his phone much and does not get on social media. He never liked to get on the computer. At least this is not an issue. He thinks social media is hard to use.. Yeah another thing he does not get in to trouble with. He loved our yard and he would do things that needed to be done by a man. I thought I can do anything I put my mind to. Except of course pick up heavy items. This journey with Parkinsons has really tired me out at times. But , I think it is mental fatigue not physical.
My husband was diagnosed with sleep apnea about the same time he was diagnosed with dementia. That was a blessing because when he puts that mask on he goes to sleep immediately and sleeps straight through the night until morning. I hope it is always like that. I am thinking that may be what I need so I can sleep!😊
Getting enough sleep is essential. I finally had to ask my husband to sleep upstairs because his sleep was so disruptive to me. He's not terribly happy about that, but if I'm to function, that's how it has to be. I don't know what you could do besides drugs. Have you talked to his doctor about this issue and how it's affecting you? Could you put a bed in your living or dining room so you could sleep separately?
We have another bedroom downstairs but he needs to be directed and redirected to the bathroom a couple times a night. I have slept on our couch but I still wake up if I hear him awake in the bedroom. If I do not wake with him, he may take a shower, brush his teeth or start shaving.
He sometimes is awake at 3 AM and can't fall back asleep. I think if he were on his own he would get up and get ready for the day. Although he also needs guidance with dressing and showering. He is starting to layer his clothes-one day had three sets of shorts on.
He is like two different people day and night. During the day he functions pretty well with 24/7guidance. He is still very social and functioning ok day to day.
My wife has always been a good sleeper. She would gt up on her own to go to the bathroom usually once a night. Now I help her. We sleep sepatately. I just got a remote beeper that tells me when she gets up, since she needs help now. Just lately, she doesn't go back to sleep after her visit to the bathroom. So I bring her to our den and put her in a recliner. The den is where I sleem on a couch. When we moved downstairs in our old farm house, we just sleep on couches. She can't get in and out of a mattress because of height. I'm an old dairy farmer and got up at 4 or 5 am for 50 years, so I have weird sleep habits. We are able to get our deep sleep in between 9 and about 2 am. After that its hit and miss for me, but she is good at falling back asleep, so far...
You know, that is helpful. I did a meditation the other day called Sleep is no big deal. We make it a huge deal if we don’t get it and better to cherish the deep sleep and may have to change and appreciate early rising.
The last couple days have been good.
Thank you for sharing. Also - what beeper? I may need one. I do have a ring camera in the bedroom but it picks up any movement.
Hello. Could you tell me about this remote beeper and where to get one. Thx.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C1HSZR4N?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_dt_b_product_details
Here it is. It works great for me
Sometimes sleep disruption is something that can be helped with medication and other times it’s just something that is dealt with nightly. Which can be exhausting for all. You can ask his doctor about a sleep aid. My dad takes a small dose of Seroquel at night. It really helps him settle down. And, he takes Xanax for anxiety.
If it’s his bladder that wakes him up, check with his doctor about Flomax. It helps with urgency and the prostate. He takes that at dinner.
Good luck with everything.