Should I indulge my husband because it makes him happy?

Brilliant!

I had a friend who found an RV place that needed vehicles moved. They would fly in to a city, pick up the RV, have generous time to toodle around sightseeing on the way home, and the cost was minimized. You would need to be the driver, however. I am certain the insurance would not apply to one with MCI or dementia even though your loved one may still drive your own vehicle.

Hi, I am new to this forum. At 86, I am the caregiver to my 94-year-old husband. Even though I use a walker, I have become the driver/ keeper of calendars/ and the financial wizard in our little army of two against dementia. It is admirable that you want to keep your husband happy. I am not always up to engaging him, but when possible, I become his Scherazade (our little joke). We can no longer travel; so I remind him about a trip, a family get-together, even something he did as a young man before I was part of his life. It turns out no one can resist a good story, even as they have forgotten their own story. If only for the moment, it is an opportunity for you both to share on a meaningful level. I think I owe you a thanks. The situation thrust on us is isolating. How lovely there is this forum for connection without having to go through all the effort it takes to leave one's home. GloRo

Bless you. What an uplifting post from what must be a very challenging time for you! I hope we will see more posts from you. Be well!

Thank you for your kindness.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Hi to those who responded to my post. I am so glad I brought light to this dark that none of us would have chosen. All our stories are unique. My dear boy's dementia was late to arrive and slow to unravel his mind. Then for a fun aspect, he developed bowel cancer and had to have a colostomy. Nothing went as planned. It is a story too long and too demanding to recall in this forum. Patience has developed over the ten years in which we have come to come to grips with a new normal. We are more fortunate than many. We still can enjoy a joke, even as there is so much silence between us. -- If I sound positive, I am; but even those of us who are positive are vulnerable. Recently, I realized that a few depressing days had transformed into full-blown depression; it was horrible and scary. As you know, the pressure of being the sole decider of everything that was previously shared can wear one down. Working with my doctor, I am now on an anti-depressant, and fortunately, it is working. -- I stumbled on this forum when I was searching for information on the medication for depression. Without the energy or time to go to our community's caregivers' meetings, this forum came to me. It seems the universe will give you what you need if you take the time to do a Google search. When I wrote my original post, I felt a lightness I had not felt for some time. If I have written anything that helped, know that it is a two-way experience. -- GloRo

Hi @gloro, it can all be so overwhelming, and, as you pointed out, humor helps. I sometimes answer my husband's questions with absurd answers, just to get a chuckle out of him,
"When are we going to have dinner?"
"By the end of the year."
or I make up really bad puns, which he still appreciates.
I'm glad you got help with depression, are feeling better, and found the strength to carry on, as we all must.
Best to you,
Teri

Thank you to all of you for being here and for posting. It’s sometimes hard to be positive when this disease is so isolating. It’s good to know we’re not alone, that there are other travelers on this journey.

I replied before on the basis that I AM your Will. I would not try to change him but realize what he has with his (only) friend of 20 yrs. But if he wants to pursue that it's only going to be harder to find if he isn't in situations that allow him to connect to a similar person. The other thing is have you ever read about being an introvert? Your question about if you should continue to look at campers even if you'll never get one may be unrelated to his not being socialable. That is if he had a couple more relationships, would that make him happy? Has he told you that? My son has few friends and I realize that the reason for that is (unlike me who also has few friends) is that he's a classic introvert. If Will thinks he'd welcome more companionship that might be accomplished by finding the most natural way that exists now and develop a strategy he'd be willing to put into place that would expose him to another he might connect to. The other thing is he might find satisfation volunteeering at an assisted living facilty or some place where simple interactions with people give him some fulfillment and mutual satisfaction that can replace chasing something that might never happen?.