Shocked by aging process

@mir123 This is a great question!

"what has worked for you, as a rule, to address kinds of suffering that can't be avoided?" My regular mindset follows a fairly logical pattern, rather than emotional. My goal at this point is to have or create the best quality of life I can figure out. This means playing to the strengths I know within myself. Using appropriate humor. Figuring out how best to address any suffering, and making my life more palatable. I now use a cane full time, but the ones I have, have been "prettified"! Thinking and being logical about solutions. Understanding that others around me may be in similar situations and offering them a "place to land" and holding space for them.
Ginger

@gingerw Your response is so helpful and well thought out! I know what you mean about canes. In my late thirties I realized a cane would help me walk. I decided to start ASAP because I'd seen people resist canes later in life for fear of appearing "old." A few years later, on my honeymoon in Hawaii with my second husband, we were out at a restaurant on X-mas eve and three very elderly ladies came in. They looked like sisters, or maybe friends. They were all on walkers and the walkers were decorated with blinking holiday lights and festooned with fancy plastic and paper flowers. This sight remains an inspiration!

@mir123 Yesterday I went out with my bestie from across the street. We went to a rummage sale at a local center. Low and behold, my husband showed up a bit later. He had stopped along the way and retrieved an old walker someone set on the side of the road. And at the rummage sale, he bought a $5 walker. Both for me, as I had mentioned if he ran across one on his yard sale travels, get it! So, in anticipation of the future, I have 2 now. Thinking of ways to personalize the one in great shape, perhaps a dragon theme?

My main cane is a piece of desert pine, from Arizona, bought 35+ years ago. He has the patina of his age. This year I want to sand him down and restain the finish. Yes, I have other canes to use "in the meantime"
Ginger

Aging of course is inevitable (unless you die young) and I've found it has many rewards, but I want to take a moment and consider how to deal with its stress and loss. I'm sure most have us have not reached our sixties and seventies without already experiencing the vicissitudes of life. So my question is--what has worked for you, as a rule, to address kinds of suffering that can't be avoided? I'd include, illness, loss of capacity, the suffering and death of others, and even mundane things like having to move or losing a job. I do feel we build resilience and self-knowledge as we go. Personally, I was very ill in my 20s and widowed in my early 40s. But fortunately I acquired a lot of strategies that work for me. Still, this is hardly one size fits all. So not looking for advice but rather to hear about other people's strengths. I would include humor and yes, a bit of whining to a good friend, in my toolbox to deal with life. You?

@mir123 Have had many stresses and disappointments, in life. What helps me best in the immediate time of the event, overthinking, or trauma, is to get physically busy doing a needed job that will take a good while. Works for me, almost always. I can think better, later.

Ginger (@gingerw)

I was amused by your discussion of walkers and canes. Canes I have, three, in fact; but lately walkers have been more and more on my mind. My chief problem is poor balance thanks to (thanks? 🙂 ) to an ongoing struggle with peripheral neuropathy––although, up until now I've managed my outdoors getting around with only a "main cane" (love that expression!). But outdoors getting around has grown trickier, so lately I've been thinking that a walker may one day in the not too distant future have to replace my main cane.

My main cane is made of wood, too; I bought it years ago, not because I was needing a cane (not yet), but because its polished shaft and wolf's head grip looked "sporty." The two canes I have that are not my main cane are made of aluminum. Despite my having wrapped the wiggly joints of both non-main canes with masking tape, they still go clickity-clack as I walk about––like a knight approaching in a loose-fitting suit of armor. So I'm forever pacing about, delaying leaving home for some appointment or other, muttering to myself, "Where the heck is my main cane?" 🙂

Thanks for the smile!

Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)

@mir123 Yesterday I went out with my bestie from across the street. We went to a rummage sale at a local center. Low and behold, my husband showed up a bit later. He had stopped along the way and retrieved an old walker someone set on the side of the road. And at the rummage sale, he bought a $5 walker. Both for me, as I had mentioned if he ran across one on his yard sale travels, get it! So, in anticipation of the future, I have 2 now. Thinking of ways to personalize the one in great shape, perhaps a dragon theme?

My main cane is a piece of desert pine, from Arizona, bought 35+ years ago. He has the patina of his age. This year I want to sand him down and restain the finish. Yes, I have other canes to use "in the meantime"
Ginger

@ray666 I have a beautiful crooked cane that was cut down from a staff length root. It is my "go to meetin'" cane. I'm thinking about taking my dremel and carving some details on it.

My aluminum canes also squeak and give away my presence. Hard to sneak up on the cat that way!

Having to make a decision to have a mobility aid can be difficult. But, that we can still "movitate" is the most important part of it all.
Ginger