Depression & self criticism because of conflict with family member

Posted by junkartist @junkartist, Jun 5 2:18pm

I’m am really low. Medicine, cbt therapist, and hotline keep from the bottom. Result of a conflict with my daughter which she insists she can only handle online in writing. It started last November with her being offending by some things I don’t remember saying because it was many months old and angry with me for offering to pay for her dental work. We got through that mostly by saying I’m sorry many times and them giving up. Things okay until after Christmas celebration, then she was “quiet at me “. In March I had another blast from her because I sent her a gift with an apology note. She would not take my call when I wanted to talk to her about it. So, I sent her a text that was probably too confrontive in standing up to her.

Now she is quiet again. I am plagued by self criticism and hatred. I go through memories of everything that was stupid that I said or did.

I do take a bike ride every day, and make time for art and writing to keep from being overwritten by cleaning and dehoarding. Thanks for listening.

@lioness

@helenfrances Also I,m tried of looking at my same pictures Think I,m going to get my family album out and change pictures that are on my walls Since I can't get out look at old memories ❤️😍

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I've been scrapbooking to find happier memories.

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Thank you all. You have helped me a lot. I feel considerably. Better

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@junkartist

I have ben a freelance journalist, good at interviews and I've written over 30 short plays. In retirement I am working on a full length play. Job- wise I've been a historical society educator.

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@junkartist Cool! Write an interview on yourself! Take it from the standpoint of writing an article for a magazine or publication that is focused on how we help ourselves feel better, or perhaps another specific way of dealing with negatives that happened in our life. Have you ever tried some of the Ira Prokopf Journal writing methods? I just recalled an exercise from a workshop. With our dominant hand write a question, and with our non-dominant hand write the answer. It was so darn interesting!

So glad to hear you are being kind to yourself ;))
Ginger

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@junkartist

In quarantine, I have gotten the habit of taking a bicycle ride every day. It helps a lot to settle me down. I need to do more since I am on the path to losing weight. During quarantine, i drifted towards comfort food. Journaling and writing letters is a good idea. But, as a professional writer, I am reluctant to write down all these negative feelings. So, maybe i should destroy the letters or journal pages afterwards. I have learned something from this experience with my daughter because it makes me look at the way I treated my parents from a different perspective. Thanks for the good advice. I'll let you know about the journaling.

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@junkartist, I am not a professional writer but I started journaling years ago just as a way of expressing thoughts and emotions I didn't want to share with others. I use plain college ruled spiral notebooks because the "pretty" journals were "too nice" to use…weird woman, yes? vbg

Strife and discord within a family can produce enormous stress and anxiety. Private journaling gives me an opportunity to express my emotions in a way I could never do with someone else. The inexpensive spirals make it easy to tear out and destroy negative pages as desired later.

You also mentioned bike riding. Walking and working in my gardens are other favorite stress reducers for me.

Years ago, my first grandson's dad decided he preferred being a playboy to being a husband and dad. We were desperately afraid that the wealthy paternal grandparents, who lived out of the country, would kidnap our baby. It was a truly horrifically scary time. During that period, I thought my daughter far too lenient in giving the dad and grandparents opportunities to visit. I even paid private investigators to track them on one 3 day visit.

I sought a counselor for help and learned, perhaps, somewhat like you, that I needed to strengthen my boundaries and that as a responsible adult, my daughter be allowed to make her decisions without my input. What is all that accumulated wisdom for if not to share with our most loved ones, right? vbg

My daughter eventually received full custody but it was a legal battle royale. Having a safe way to express my angers, fears and threats of what I'd like to do to that family "pond scum" clan of internationally officed attorneys was probably a true sanity saver for me.

I am so thankful for the new cyber friends made through these wonderful Connect forums. This is another valuable outlet in which we can share concern and support safely and in confidence. What is your professional field of writing expertise?

My daughter worked on the creative side of advertising before her marriage. What is your professional field of writing expertise? Do you work from home? If so, is it hard to stop at the end of the day?

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