Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Volunteer Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question “Why?” At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn’t really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don’t speak these people’s language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn’t tell a joke, and you never “got” any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn’t appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

@mamacita

I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum, is the ability to balance all my responsibilities at the same time that I carve out time for the creative, joyous part of me. I was so neglectful of myself for so many years, it is actually like waking up and consciously deciding who I want to be that day. Does that make any sense? There are so many demands on my time, your time, everyone's time. But we have to breathe. We have to relax, and enjoy taking our time with the beauty that is all around us. I feel as though I have been given a second chance at life. I try to stay in touch with what is going on around me. But I deliberately schedule time for me to do "Autism things" every day. To study about what makes people tick. To look at past mistakes and move on, realizing that they were lessons learned. To be patient and kind with myself helps me to be more patient and kind with others. I was not raised to be a planner. I was not raised to be organized. But for me, learning daily how to be more structured, and to plan the things that matter to me, helps me to weather the stress of living in a world that is too loud, too busy, and extremely anxiety-provoking. I am a concrete thinker. Whatever you tell me, I will believe, unless it is proven otherwise. I don't get jokes, cannot tell a joke, although people do say I have a good sense of humor. I am a Mac in a PC world. I think differently than most people, outside of the box. I don't fit in. But I do come in handy. And learning to live in the moment, to be mindful, to have balance, is a noble task. To sum it all up: Make every day count! That is my challenge!

Jump to this post

Mamasitalucita , I bearhug you the area of the brain is the Hypercampus and amygdala and occurs when floods of Epinephrine adrenal gland hormone floods this the flight and fight hormone the Hypercampus and increases anxieties and depression . anotherfrind of mine uses cannabis oil as a nightly dose to help her depression and chronic illness and it gives her fresh relief i am on anti depression meds and usually get changed once a year .I also have cognitive based therapy useful assistance and paintingor singi g or listening to music ,helping others and cuddling a cat or dogs because of the unconditional love

@hopeful33250

@jfsherley

Hello, I appreciate your honesty in your post. I believe that what you are saying is that you do not like to pre-plan activities because you are sure that you will feel like keeping the commitment when the time comes. Is that correct?

Teresa

Jump to this post

Hi there, @jfsherley! You know, if I do too much one day, I pay for it the next day. I try to have a wide open space in the middle of my day where anything is possible! Kind of exciting, at least to me. If I am going out of town on the weekend, my housework is going to get done by Thursday so I don't have to do anything on Friday. If I have a friend who texts me at the last minute and says "Let's go eat Chinese!" Well too late…I've already had lunch! And here's the thing, I like to plan ahead and know what to expect. I am not the girl who loves surprises. Most of my friends get this now, because I just get real frank with them. They understand. The ones that don't understand, well, I haven't seen them in quite a while. Five months sound familiar? I like your attitude! Until next time, Mamacitalucita

@sirgalahad

where do i go to log a new coment

Jump to this post

i did find out how and posted a new discussion coment on cureing of autism

@sirgalahad

where do i go to log a new coment

Jump to this post

@sirgalahad, I am certainly no computer whiz. But I will give it a shot as it seems you and I are the only two people awake in the Free World. OK, I know it's not that funny, but I tried. For starters, at the end of this post I am making to you, right now, is a rectangle on the left hand side of the page. Click on reply. A space will open up where you make a comment or ask a question. Try that first, because I am punchy with sleepiness and have to go to sleep. If I can find more info I will send it to you. Good night, bro. Peace. Mamacitalucita

@mamacita

Hi everyone! How was your day? Mine was super busy, with shopping, cleaning, and getting my pedicure. That is one of the girly things I do once a month to pamper myself. You sit in a massage chair and it is just terrific. But I digress. We have an announcement to make! Our group will have a new name very soon to reflect who we are and what we do here. We are growing, and not just in numbers. So stick around, ladies and gents, the show is about to begin! ( Cue the Fiftie's TV Music!) Until we meet again, MamacitaLucita

Jump to this post

nigh nigh dear one sleep well i have just found a scientific medical papers that have identified 20 different genes that has been identified inpeople on the autism spectrum .this paper is from boston uni dept biology and dept pharmacology and experimental therapeutics+
paper is FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENTS IN Autism : from neurogenesis and neurite growth to synaptic plasticityby james gilbert and hemp-ye man from the frontiers in cellularneuroscience

@mamacita

Hi everyone! How was your day? Mine was super busy, with shopping, cleaning, and getting my pedicure. That is one of the girly things I do once a month to pamper myself. You sit in a massage chair and it is just terrific. But I digress. We have an announcement to make! Our group will have a new name very soon to reflect who we are and what we do here. We are growing, and not just in numbers. So stick around, ladies and gents, the show is about to begin! ( Cue the Fiftie's TV Music!) Until we meet again, MamacitaLucita

Jump to this post

@sirgalahad…..Fascinating! I have always felt there was a genetic component back there somewhere. I cannot wait to read the paper. Thank you so much for sharing this information! You are what we all should strive to be: A lifelong learner. Love and light, Mamacitalucita

@sirgalahad

where do i go to log a new coment

Jump to this post

I don't want to be cured. I prefer to be simmered, over a low fire. Mamacitalucita

Thank you @travelgirl! Love and light, Mamacitalucita

@mamacita

I was always different. As a small child, I didn't realize I was different. I only knew as early as the age of three or four that I wanted to kill myself. I had it all planned out how I would do that. If I failed, I planned to run away from home, and I had that figured out as well. That would mean leaving my beloved Father behind. But I knew my Mother didn't care about me, so, I figured I had no choice. She was mentally ill, having suffered terribly at the hands of an abusive male relative for many years. She would frequently tell me all kinds of things that unsettled me. That she was not my "real" mother, that she was just watching me until she could come to get me. In a very real sense, she was not my real mother. My "real" Mother was one of two ladies hired by my Father to take care of me when I was born. My biological mother had a difficult time accepting motherhood. She had some sort of breakdown when I was born, and was unable to care for me. After a year, my parents could no longer afford two nannies. But they let the wrong one go. Just like in the film the Help, I was that little girl crying and screaming, begging the woman who had loved her and raised her not to go. I could read before I went to school, and was used as a teacher's aide to help other kids learn to read and write. I was playing the piano for church services at the age of six, and teaching my third grade class their music lessons at the insistence of my teacher. I had superior hearing, off the charts, actually, when I was finally tested as an adult. I read a huge stack of books every day after school, returned them the next day, then checked out another stack. I felt that if I read enough, one day I would figure it all out. I ended up becoming a Social Worker, then a Special Educator. I read temple Grandin's book, Thinking In Pictures, and was stunned. I had not known until then, that other people did not think in pictures. This was a very big deal to me. I worked directly under a Psychologist for the school system for three years, trying to help a child on the Spectrum to find her place. I suspected at the time that I had ADHD, and had already been diagnosed with Depression. I was already collecting labels by the fistful, and certainly did not desire anymore. But I always knew there was more to me than just depression. Long after I was transferred to another position in the school system, I began studying more about Autism. It was only after the ADHD medicines had become ineffective that I began to understand there was indeed a Spectrum, and that all people with Autism did not present exactly the same way. I am very sociable, for example. I never meet a stranger. I know now that I was miserable for so long, I want to do everything I can to encourage other people struggling with life. Around five or so years ago, I think, I began to read bits and pieces from a woman named Samantha Craft. She wrote Everyday Aspergers, and had a long list of traits that might present in females. This was very significant, because until about this time, most medical professionals didn't recognize Autism in females, except for extreme cases. We know now that girls are much better at "masking" or mimicking what is considered to be normal or typical behavior. After remaining open to the possibility that I could be on the Spectrum, I began to take a series of tests that are commonly given as part of the process in determining Spectrum disorders. It must be understood that I was extremely motivated in determining the truth. I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to attempt to make my scores high enough to "fit" the diagnosis. For me, this was a life or death matter. I have limited access to competent medical professionals who have had good success in working with persons on the Spectrum. Where I live, the closest place would be Birmingham, AL. I am raising a thirteen year old, have various health conditions, and a dear husband who is on immunosuppressant therapy. My days are filled with Homeschool and cleaning, so that his many allergies to not put him in respiratory distress. If I ever manage to have the time to get an appointment with a really good Psychiatrist an hour and a half's drive away, it will be just one more affirmation. I know where I come from and I know where I belong. The Spectrum is a perfect fit for me. My brain is just wired differently. All my senses are heightened to the nth degree. Things that used to torment me, now make sense. Sorry this is so long. I have actually left out an awful lot.

Jump to this post

i actually found an scientific medical research paper from Boston unis biology dept. and pharmacology experimental therapeutics from the frontiers in Cellular Neuroscience. they have found 1,000 genes ASD CAUSATIVE DIVERSITY in from simmons foundation autism research iniative gene database .I ESPECIALLY READING IT THERE ARE LINKS TO ADHD ,SCHITSOPHRENIA,asd,`, ddepilepsy,ocd and tourettes syndrome.. i was tired of vaccinations being blamed as a causal agent for autism and wanted to be able toget together a data base to help parents of asd children to understand and how to help them

@jfsherley

I definitely paid attention to my body , I love it when I feel like doing things in or outside of my house but if I’m having a more painful day I don’t try to push myself but the thing I’ve noticed is that it’s hard for me to make a definite commitment to a friend like going to do something it just makes me to not make any plans , and that makes me sad. Do any of you have that problem ?

Jump to this post

Oh, how I can empathize with you. Along with my allergies and extreme senses (Super hearing, smell, taste, touch,and hypervigilance) I also have on any particular day, diabetes, anxiety, depression, degenerative disc disease, spinal stenosis, arthritis.  That's it.  Oh, and asthma.  But with great medical care, medicines that actually work, supplements that help as much as medicines, and mindfulness, I am able to live a rich life.  I have to say no to invitations all the the time.  I must space out my time during the day to include peace and quiet.  Shopping all day is not an option for me. If I don't take care of myself, I won't have anything left to give others.  Since that is what makes me the happiest, I strive to keep it balanced.  It's okay to say no.  And it will get better. You are not alone, and you are worth it.  Remember, it's not a race, it's a journey.  And we are better together.  Until next time, Mamacita 

@mamasitalucita

I am blown away by your wisdom and gifted writing skills. Your warm and loving responses to others posting on this thread, as well as to those who haven't posted, leave me feeling loved, accepted, and comfortable in my own body. I have chronic pain, the same back problems you do, diabetes, depression (controlled by Citalopram) and PTSD. Even so, I have led a fantastic life, pressing on thru all my fears, pain, and hypervigilence. I was exhausted at times, so the spoon theory makes so much sense to me.

Now that I'm retired, I sometimes feel like I'm being lazy because I don't work enough around the house. It's taken me about 5 years to really retire and let go of the things I was good at and got paid lots of money to do. Alas, my body forced me to stop working so hard. My back gave out while I was on a consulting assignment in the Denver area, and I was forced to get a wheelchair and fly home. That was my last work. I had a laminectomy within a month of returning home. Thankfully, it relieved a great deal of my pain, and further therapy using Active Release Technique has relieved most of my remaining back pain. My husband and I live with my stepdaughter in her beautiful, huge new home. She has a housekeeper who comes 3 times a week and not only cleans and does laundry, but also does the grocery shopping and cooks on those days she's here. That is wonderful, and I love her housekeeper who has been with her for 26 years.

But, on the 4th of July, my stepdaughter had a huge family and friends gathering which was very nice. I helped get the yard cleaned as much as I could, and made a fresh fruit plate as my contribution to the food, but that's all I could do. During the party, I ended up in my bedroom for a nap. I thought I was just taking a break, but ended up falling asleep. I then made it through til 10 pm, and had to go to bed for the night. My problem is I worry about not being able to help do any of the cleanup after the party. I so want to be useful and not take up too much space in my stepdaughter's home, which she asked us to come and live at no cost to us. My fears of not doing enough to deserve it sometimes get in the way of my just taking care of myself emotionally.

Your thoughts and the feelings you express remind me that I have space in this world and that I only have so many spoons to use each day. Sometimes just getting up, showering and making the bed is as much as I can handle. Even though I have some fun shopping to do for new bedroom furniture, I haven't had the energy to go do it. Decorating is something I love to do, but I don't have the energy most days now. My stepdaughter works so hard and is constantly busy. I worry about her level of activity as it will take a toll one of these days. Next to her I feel particularly "lazy." I need to remember that I was once as active as is she, and that it's OK for me to relax now and not worry about impressing anyone, least of all myself!

I so appreciate your wisdom and beautiful words @mamasitalucita. I think I'm a neuro, but I totally relate to you. We ARE better together. Thank you for listening.

Gail
Volunteer Mentor

@mamacita

Hi everyone! How was your day? Mine was super busy, with shopping, cleaning, and getting my pedicure. That is one of the girly things I do once a month to pamper myself. You sit in a massage chair and it is just terrific. But I digress. We have an announcement to make! Our group will have a new name very soon to reflect who we are and what we do here. We are growing, and not just in numbers. So stick around, ladies and gents, the show is about to begin! ( Cue the Fiftie's TV Music!) Until we meet again, MamacitaLucita

Jump to this post

Hi @sirgalahad — I think I found a link to the paper you are talking about – great information and hope.

Fundamental Elements in Autism: From Neurogenesis and Neurite Growth to Synaptic Plasticity
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5701944/

John

@gailb

@mamasitalucita

I am blown away by your wisdom and gifted writing skills. Your warm and loving responses to others posting on this thread, as well as to those who haven't posted, leave me feeling loved, accepted, and comfortable in my own body. I have chronic pain, the same back problems you do, diabetes, depression (controlled by Citalopram) and PTSD. Even so, I have led a fantastic life, pressing on thru all my fears, pain, and hypervigilence. I was exhausted at times, so the spoon theory makes so much sense to me.

Now that I'm retired, I sometimes feel like I'm being lazy because I don't work enough around the house. It's taken me about 5 years to really retire and let go of the things I was good at and got paid lots of money to do. Alas, my body forced me to stop working so hard. My back gave out while I was on a consulting assignment in the Denver area, and I was forced to get a wheelchair and fly home. That was my last work. I had a laminectomy within a month of returning home. Thankfully, it relieved a great deal of my pain, and further therapy using Active Release Technique has relieved most of my remaining back pain. My husband and I live with my stepdaughter in her beautiful, huge new home. She has a housekeeper who comes 3 times a week and not only cleans and does laundry, but also does the grocery shopping and cooks on those days she's here. That is wonderful, and I love her housekeeper who has been with her for 26 years.

But, on the 4th of July, my stepdaughter had a huge family and friends gathering which was very nice. I helped get the yard cleaned as much as I could, and made a fresh fruit plate as my contribution to the food, but that's all I could do. During the party, I ended up in my bedroom for a nap. I thought I was just taking a break, but ended up falling asleep. I then made it through til 10 pm, and had to go to bed for the night. My problem is I worry about not being able to help do any of the cleanup after the party. I so want to be useful and not take up too much space in my stepdaughter's home, which she asked us to come and live at no cost to us. My fears of not doing enough to deserve it sometimes get in the way of my just taking care of myself emotionally.

Your thoughts and the feelings you express remind me that I have space in this world and that I only have so many spoons to use each day. Sometimes just getting up, showering and making the bed is as much as I can handle. Even though I have some fun shopping to do for new bedroom furniture, I haven't had the energy to go do it. Decorating is something I love to do, but I don't have the energy most days now. My stepdaughter works so hard and is constantly busy. I worry about her level of activity as it will take a toll one of these days. Next to her I feel particularly "lazy." I need to remember that I was once as active as is she, and that it's OK for me to relax now and not worry about impressing anyone, least of all myself!

I so appreciate your wisdom and beautiful words @mamasitalucita. I think I'm a neuro, but I totally relate to you. We ARE better together. Thank you for listening.

Gail
Volunteer Mentor

Jump to this post

Peace and joy and love are ours.  We have had hard lives, been through so much of the same trauma, endured Pain no one on Earth can fathom. Heaven is my home and until I get there I want everyone I meet, every hand I touch, every soul in need of healing to feel that love and acceptance.  It is real and it is powerful.  My God is bigger than any barrrier man can try to put up.  He cannot be put in a box.  I have friends all over the faith " spectrum."  God runs to meet each others where they are. Baptist, Episcopal, Jewish, Hindu.  It doesn't matter.  He desires a relationship with each one of us.  We are all His children. Sorry.  Didn't mean to get all preachy on you.  Love and peace.  Mamacita

@mamacita

Hi everyone! How was your day? Mine was super busy, with shopping, cleaning, and getting my pedicure. That is one of the girly things I do once a month to pamper myself. You sit in a massage chair and it is just terrific. But I digress. We have an announcement to make! Our group will have a new name very soon to reflect who we are and what we do here. We are growing, and not just in numbers. So stick around, ladies and gents, the show is about to begin! ( Cue the Fiftie's TV Music!) Until we meet again, MamacitaLucita

Jump to this post

THATS THE PAPER I CAME ACROSS ITS FASCINATING BUT GOOD GRIEF SLOGFEST TO READ AND UNDERSTAND OH MY GOODNESS .BRAIN PHYSIOLOGY NOT MY FIELD AND IT MAKING SENSE AND I AM VERY GLAD TOO SEE THAT WE ARE FINDING THE GENETIC LINKS AND GENE CAUSAL AGENTS

@mamacita

I tried to comment earlier while I was on my way home from my cousin's funeral. Apparently it didn't work, for some reason. In my world, plans are made to be interrupted! Take this weekend, for example. We have this big church gathering in another city two hours from here maybe twice a year. It is planned for, anticipated, hotel rooms are rented, new dresses bought, hats to match the dresses, activities lined up after church is over, where we go eat….the list goes on. Then we find out earlier in the week my first cousin won't likely make it through the night. Great lady. Her suffering is over. As much as we want to go be with our church family and celebrate, we must change our plans and prepare for a funeral. Well, guess what? It was a lovely gathering. I even got to speak a little bit. And I am so glad we changed our plans. My health issues require me to say no many, many times. I cannot attend every concert, seminar, birthday party, or baby shower I am invited to! I only have so many spoons. I have to store up energy like a solar panel, child, so I can shine brightly later on! So, don't be too sad, for too long. When you get to be my age, you will have said "no" so many times, it will slip right off your tongue like a nice cold piece of homemade lemon pie! It's called self preservation. Explain to your friends nicely, and they will get it. Eventually. Until next time, Mamacitalucita

Jump to this post

mamacitalucita thanks for sharing how you do things in your life , I’m sure you probably have more going on in your life than I do I can do things around the house in the mornings for a little while then I have to lay now for awhile … it has been a hard thing for me to adjust to the place I’m in my life with this back pain , mostly because there’s things I want to do and can’t. I too have stenosis and need rods in my back , but I’m just not interested in back surgery at my age . If I were younger I probably would do it . I would like to know more about the pain pump and if anybody is having success with it . My sister’s back is worst than mine so was thinking she might be interested in that too . Have a blessed day !

Please login or register to post a reply.