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Seborreic dermatitis
Dementia can be such a dichotomy of events. My wife has had bouts of seborreic dermatitis, from LBD. We fight it by rotating shampoos. We were discussing it the other day and coudln't remember another treatment. My wife pulled it out of thin air, tea tree oil. We couldn't remember. She also has some rash on her face, I thought related to it. Dry flaking skin. I was treating it and then one day I caught her putting toothpaste in her face and rubbing it in. One day recalling the treatment and the next toothpaste. Such a cruel disease!
Was it worth it? I decided to go to arizona to a family house we have there. A one week trip with a 4 hour flight going out. It was like travelling with a 3 yar old. We had a couple of fights ( disagreements a better word) out there. That is something we rarely have had in 52 years of marriage. We created some memories, I guess, maybe not all good ones. I don't know the answer to my own question. Have any of you made the same decisions on getting away? It was hard and I had family help out there.
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This is turning out to be quite different from what I had anticipated. I thought that with Alzheimer's the person would be more-or-less out of it, unaware. Not so. My husband is very aware. He has all the stigmata of the disease but he's cogent enough to have opinions and do things he wants to do. I can't plan around him because he's aware of everything I do or suggest. For example, we need to live on one floor, so I'm trying to think of solutions, from moving to another house to repurposing a room and adding a washer and dryer on the main floor. That would crowd us in what's already a small house. So it occurred to me that we could put on an addition. I'd love to do this. I think such a project would be fun. My husband is horrified by all these ideas, so I'm back to square one. We get older and sicker and our needs change and my husband won't accommodate them. I don't know what to do.
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1 Reactionhttps://www.lbda.org/lbd-clinical-trials-around-the-world/
Maybe a new destination?
I know how very difficult and painful this is.
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2 ReactionsHi @pamela78, I can get my husband's cooperation by telling him I need help, I'm the one in pain, and if something happens to me, he'll have to go into a care home. That's always worked so far. Do you think that would work with your husband?
Maybe tell him you're not confident going up and down the stairs, and if you fall, you can't take care of him. Does he acknowledge your care?
There are washer/dryer units that are stacked for apartments and don't take much space.
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4 ReactionsTo @tsc: Making it my problem and not his is a good idea, especially as he's always eager to help me. He does the laundry, which requires going down stairs to a crummy basement. He's done that for a few years now since I told him I can't do those stairs anymore. I've thought about the washer/dryer combo. It's a great idea but our house is so small I don't know where I'd put it. Now I sound like my husband, always finding the negative in any suggestion. My bad. He did accept my request that we sleep separately. He doesn't like it, but I need a good night's sleep and he, through no fault of his own, just doesn't allow for that.
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1 ReactionHi @pamela78, is there someone that your husband listens to that could suggest an addition - a sibling, a close friend or a child? That might be worth a try.
I've also heard of house safety checks - to make homes safer, especially for those at risk of falling. Occupational therapists usually do those.