Hi all ….. well, ever since I gave in to my kids’ hounding and moved down to this wretched place, and left my safe “nest” in MD, it just seems as though everything continues to go wrong, fall apart, etc. I should have never moved, and I’m so sorry I did. Everything safe was in MD, and now that’s all gone …..I can’t move back because I’ve sold my condo, and I can’t afford the move back as I’m still paying for the move down here to VA.
I have been going up to MD every other Tuesday to see my Psychologist and then my Psychiatrist who prescribes the meds. Well, I wrote to my therapist this week telling him I couldn’t make it up this week as I’d had that accident with my car, and was there a time when we could at least talk. The note I got back said that no, he was packed until Christmas, which I believe because Christmas is hard for a lot of people – including me. He then went on to say that he thinks it would be better if I found someone down here for counseling rather than coming up there (3 hrs.) to meet with him. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. It was the same old thing, same old message I always got from my parents, and my X-husband – “go away, I don’t have time for you, you’re too much trouble, just find another place to go.” Boy those voices started screaming in my head.. I want to believe he did this wellmeaningly, but I know he is very busy, and this was probably another way to get rid of one of those leaches. Also, if I don’t see a therapist (Psychologist), I won’t be able to see my Psychiatrist for meds. as you have to be under a doctor’s care to see a Psychiatrist. I’ve been with this doctor for 12 years and we’ve come a long way …. I won’t detail it …. some of you know it. Well, I’m not about to start again with someone down here …. there’s just no way. I don’t like living here, and I’m not about to try to fill his shoes with someone else. I have always had a hard time trusting men …. we would joke that I had this “special little group” of safe men …. my son, my sil, and my therapist. I always considered men to be sex-driven animals.
So, I guess I’ll soon be on my own ….. go back to the way life always was ….. put one foot in front of the other until it’s all over. I’m 73 so that’s not too far away.
Liked by Jim, Volunteer Mentor