~ sadness ~
Hello everyone ….. I am struggling with something that should no longer be my business, and I need to share it. I live in Staunton, VA, between the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Appalachian Mountains. When I was still married, my now-X and I used to rent a house in Wintergreen (a resort very close by) in late summer or early Fall. We would enjoy the trails, the pool, the restaurants, the views, and long walks at night. Now that I am living so closely to Wintergreen, I just feel very sad about losing all that. And, on top of that (and I realize this is none of my business) I think my X is dating someone. Why does that bother me? I don’t know. But it all ties in with our Fall outings we used to take. Maybe after 40 years, you never quite get passed that sadness when someone else is taking your place. Now I don’t know this for sure, but from things, both said and unsaid, I am getting that sense.
My therapist once said to me (and I know some of you won’t agree with this) that it is easier if a spouse dies rather than getting divorced. I know that sounds cruel, but I’m believing it to be true. There’s just this heavy sadness that I fear I will never be without any longer …. this situation, on top of having moved here in the first place …. well, it’s just a very, very, sad and difficult time for me.