Sadness - Venting

Posted by blcornelius13 @blcornelius13, 3 days ago

I'm not looking for advice. I just need to vent - not angry, but immensely sad.

My husband had his last meeting with the oncologist at Mayo on August 1 where it was explained to him that there was nothing more they could do and suggested he begin hospice care. He is in his 3rd round of NSCLC Mucinous Adenocarcinoma Stage IV. The 1st and 2nd time it was in his right lung, this time it's in his left lung. Due to the previous treatments he doesn't qualify for chemo, radiation, clinical trials or a lung transplant. They said he had about 6 months left. I am devastated!!! My mind is blown!! I am trying my best to live in the present and not get ahead of myself to the black hole that seems to be my future.

Thankfully I have my daughter close by and other family members for support. I attend a Caregivers Support Group and I have a therapist that specializes in caregivers and grief.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.

pml | @pml | 2 days ago

I'm so sorry that you and your husband are going through this. That is very sad. My husband died of lung cancer a year ago. What we did was just enjoy our time that we had together. My husband quit any treatment because it made him sicker and he couldn't function. We ate healthy and prayed a lot. God got us through this for 14 years. It was a wonderful 14 years even when the last year of my husband's life was more painful and harder on him. We told each other daily how much we loved each other. He did have medication from the doctor and hospice was offered but I had worked in nursing homes and had taken care of my Mom for 10 years when she was ill with pulmonary emphysema so I could take care of my husband without any other help. Although hospice is very helpful and caring. When my husband died, I was so glad we had that time together. It helps me now to remember all of the good times even when he was so sick.
Give your problems all up to God. He will be there for you. God is the one who decides who dies and when. The doctors have an idea and often are correct. But we really don't know for sure so just enjoy the time you have together and don't worry about the future. It will get here soon enough. It's good that you have your daughter and family members to support you. Also you have your therapist and the care givers group. That is very important.

I will say a prayer for both you and your husband. I wish you the best.
PML