Recovering from loss: How do I get back to my old self?

Ed, I am terribly sorry that you lost your wife. My sincere condolences. You are so right by saying that grief never ends. I am still married to my husband of 42 years and have adult children. My mother died 38 years ago at a very young age. She had cancer. My father died in his sleep 24 years ago. I still grieve. But, I did learn something about grief when I became a facilitator for a grief support group. And I will never forget it and I hope it helps you. “Grief feels like a heavy rock in your pocket during the first year. As the years pass by, this heavy rock will still be in your pocket but each passing year, the weight of it will become lighter and hopefully, it will eventually feel like a pebble in your pocket but always there”. Volunteering sounds like a wonderful thing to do. It will get you out of the house. I hope I have helped in some small way. Attend a support group if your grief keeps you from being active. Good luck and wish you the best!

@susanjane77 Thank you for your very kind words. The heavy rock still exists since it has been only a short period of time. I look forward to the day it begins to feel lighter. I do belong to a GriefShare support group, and I also belong to an in-person support group. They meet one day a week for those who lost a spouse or partner. I joined the in-person group 5 weeks after she passed away knowing I'd need to talk with folks who understand the depth of losing a spouse. I was in shock for about 2 weeks. The morning in which she passed away, we were to leave NJ and go to Florida for a 10-day cruise. My family and I were blessed in that she passed at home with no pain, not sick, she had a cardiac arrest in her sleep. You helped me in more than a small way and I'll keep in mind your comments. I am sure you find being a facilitator rewarding and helpful in your own grief, Thanks again. Ed

Ed, thank you for your note. I am so sorry that your wife died unexpectedly. But, for what it is worth, she did not suffer. It still does not help that she is no longer with you. I know that you will continue to honor her and she will always be with you.

I wish you the very best and please stay in touch if possible. You will be in my thoughts. Susan

Thanks Susan and will stay in touch. I'm often reminded that the way in which she passed was a way in which she would want. Having worked in the medical field for 30 years, I'm sure saw a lot, and I know this is what she would prefer. Easy on the person, difficult on those left behind. Stay well. Ed