Re: My Scan Results for followup of Renal Cell Carcinoma

Posted by azkidney57 @azkidney57, Nov 5, 2019

So I have my scan results, MRI and Chest CT. They found a 2.7 cm lucent lesion in the left lobe of my liver. The report stated it was likely a complex cyst. I don’t know if I should worry about this or not. So I have not Mets from the RCC, but I have a liver lesion. I can’t find anything that makes sense to me regarding a “lucent lesion” in the internet. What is a “lucent liver lesion”?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Kidney & Bladder group.

@azkidney57

JK, at first I found the idea of going to a psychiatrist a bit insulting. But I have gone through a traumatic event. I think I have some PTSD from this entire ordeal. I lost a kidney! It seems to be bothering me more lately. My oncologist’s nurse told me I was more “anxious”than the average patient that bothered me. I felt she was being very judge mental. I find I tend to be more irritable and annoyed with people and situations. I am impatient and I really dislike being in large crowds of people! Like at a mall or large store. Not phobia just all those people I see then as obstacles. This is not my “normal” me. I have to watch what I say also. I told a woman to get out of the way at a grocery store. She was blocking the aisle with her shopping cart. Normally I would be more polite and move around. But I felt myself become aggressive towards her. This is Not like me at all. So something is or has happened to me psychologically. I think I will see the psychiatrist just to see how it goes. I do need to calm down in general! Having a cancer diagnosis disagreed with me! I don’t like the idea of “interval” living. That’s what I call Surveillance. Every 4 months I will be scannned for a year. So the cycle, the scanxiety, the waiting for results, this will repeat! How do people deal with this? I hope it doesn’t drive me crazy! This coming week I have to see 2 specialists. I don’t want to go! If I develop Mets I really don’t know how I would take that. I am trying to be positive because at present I am cancer free. It is very difficult for me right now. I think is best to see a psychiatrist then reach for a gin and tonic. Thank you checking on me. I appreciate it!

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First of all, you are NOT alone.

I agree with what JK says.

I also lost a kidney. Only thing is, nobody knew for years and years until my remaining kidney started to fail and scans revealed a totally atrophied left kidney with around 22% function in the right one.

I was furious! How could I not have known? How could this not have shown up on lab tests? Why did I have to develop diabetes which likely did most of the damage, along with kidney stones and bouts of kidney infections? How dare the universe ruin one of my kidneys? And how dare other people get in my way, speak to me at all, go about their business when I'm scared poop-less?

I was cross, cranky, irritable, asked a zillion questions.

But no nurse or doctor ever told me I was "more anxious." That nurse should have her license jerked.

Of course I was anxious. Of course you are anxious. Of course I was grumpy. Of course you feel grumpy.

Just know that the anger and fear probably will subside the more you know because knowledge is power.

I, too, resent the "invasions" of my privacy with tests and scans but I also now welcome them because at least I will know what's going on and can take appropriate measures.

The difference between us is that I didn't see a therapist formally as I am a member of a 12-step program which gives me tools – and expert people – to deal with my issues of resentment and fear and one of them happens to actually be a therapist.

I would venture to say that most of us here feel or at least have felt like you do and we are here for you. You can vent, rant, complain and we all will understand and support you. Together this group has some answers. . .

You are not alone!

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@azkidney57

I finally went to see a psychiatrist regarding my depression and stress and was diagnosed with “anxious depression “. I am not one who likes labels much but I do experience anxiety and since my diagnosis of renal cell carcinoma and subsequent nephrectomy I have become depressed. I am coping much better as of late but the stress of a cancer diagnosis has been difficult. I feel better physically although my energy level isn’t what it once was but I do find emotionally I sometimes become frustrated and depressed since I don’t know what the future holds. Cancer is a scary disease and it is unpredictable. It is a complex disease and my cancer has no “cure”. Recurrence is a possibility. I am living under surveillance which for me means every 4 months for a year I will be scanned. I intend to live my life as fully as possible. I am grateful for this site because I have found good support from people who have been in my place. I have learned that it is good to seek health when you feel overwhelmed. I am taking medication to help with my depression and I am taking the recommendations my psychiatrist gave me. I have issues with sleep but I have a sleep regime. I stay close to my good friends and I engage in social activities because being isolated isn’t good. I am pleased this site is here because I have received good advise and suggestions which has helped me deal with my cancer diagnosis more effectively. I know I am not alone!

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@azkidney57 you are doing a great job taking care of your health. Thank you for letting us know how we have helped. May I be the first to wish you a great year ahead free from cancer.

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I finally went to see a psychiatrist regarding my depression and stress and was diagnosed with “anxious depression “. I am not one who likes labels much but I do experience anxiety and since my diagnosis of renal cell carcinoma and subsequent nephrectomy I have become depressed. I am coping much better as of late but the stress of a cancer diagnosis has been difficult. I feel better physically although my energy level isn’t what it once was but I do find emotionally I sometimes become frustrated and depressed since I don’t know what the future holds. Cancer is a scary disease and it is unpredictable. It is a complex disease and my cancer has no “cure”. Recurrence is a possibility. I am living under surveillance which for me means every 4 months for a year I will be scanned. I intend to live my life as fully as possible. I am grateful for this site because I have found good support from people who have been in my place. I have learned that it is good to seek health when you feel overwhelmed. I am taking medication to help with my depression and I am taking the recommendations my psychiatrist gave me. I have issues with sleep but I have a sleep regime. I stay close to my good friends and I engage in social activities because being isolated isn’t good. I am pleased this site is here because I have received good advise and suggestions which has helped me deal with my cancer diagnosis more effectively. I know I am not alone!

REPLY
@azkidney57

I finally went to see a psychiatrist regarding my depression and stress and was diagnosed with “anxious depression “. I am not one who likes labels much but I do experience anxiety and since my diagnosis of renal cell carcinoma and subsequent nephrectomy I have become depressed. I am coping much better as of late but the stress of a cancer diagnosis has been difficult. I feel better physically although my energy level isn’t what it once was but I do find emotionally I sometimes become frustrated and depressed since I don’t know what the future holds. Cancer is a scary disease and it is unpredictable. It is a complex disease and my cancer has no “cure”. Recurrence is a possibility. I am living under surveillance which for me means every 4 months for a year I will be scanned. I intend to live my life as fully as possible. I am grateful for this site because I have found good support from people who have been in my place. I have learned that it is good to seek health when you feel overwhelmed. I am taking medication to help with my depression and I am taking the recommendations my psychiatrist gave me. I have issues with sleep but I have a sleep regime. I stay close to my good friends and I engage in social activities because being isolated isn’t good. I am pleased this site is here because I have received good advise and suggestions which has helped me deal with my cancer diagnosis more effectively. I know I am not alone!

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@azkidney57 Good for you, realizing you needed to get a professional assist from someone for depression and stress, for your peace of mind. Better to acknowledge it and get help sooner than later. I also have a cancer that cannot be cured, and every three months will undergo tests to see if it has progressed. When I first was given the diagnosis of multiple myeloma, officially just this past November, it was hard to wrap my mind around. But this is now my fourth experience with cancer. And I know that each person has an expiration date; we are not guaranteed immortality. It is up to us to make our life the best it can be. Reading that you have chosen the attitude you have, is music to my ears. Thank you for sharing here. I just know you have helped me, and no doubt others here.
Ginger

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@kamama94

First of all, you are NOT alone.

I agree with what JK says.

I also lost a kidney. Only thing is, nobody knew for years and years until my remaining kidney started to fail and scans revealed a totally atrophied left kidney with around 22% function in the right one.

I was furious! How could I not have known? How could this not have shown up on lab tests? Why did I have to develop diabetes which likely did most of the damage, along with kidney stones and bouts of kidney infections? How dare the universe ruin one of my kidneys? And how dare other people get in my way, speak to me at all, go about their business when I'm scared poop-less?

I was cross, cranky, irritable, asked a zillion questions.

But no nurse or doctor ever told me I was "more anxious." That nurse should have her license jerked.

Of course I was anxious. Of course you are anxious. Of course I was grumpy. Of course you feel grumpy.

Just know that the anger and fear probably will subside the more you know because knowledge is power.

I, too, resent the "invasions" of my privacy with tests and scans but I also now welcome them because at least I will know what's going on and can take appropriate measures.

The difference between us is that I didn't see a therapist formally as I am a member of a 12-step program which gives me tools – and expert people – to deal with my issues of resentment and fear and one of them happens to actually be a therapist.

I would venture to say that most of us here feel or at least have felt like you do and we are here for you. You can vent, rant, complain and we all will understand and support you. Together this group has some answers. . .

You are not alone!

Jump to this post

I completely understand what the feelings are here
However I realize I have done exactly the reverse. I just shut down. My cancer experience begin with my spouse and both sons. You listen to what all the doctors are saying and try to figure out just what has happened in your family. How could this be it is not the correct order of things. I think all the time, however I just don’t talk to anyone about my thoughts. I’m known as a very strong person all my life. I’m the dear Abby for everyone. I just can’t discuss anything that pertains to me. Seems that those friends that have used me as an outlet for all their problems-relationship issues, unhappy with shopping you get the picture, just petty things with no real substance. Yet I listen. Have had to block my phone from some friends that yell and scream about their pettiness and have no idea what that is doing to me or for that matter they don’t care. Not many true friends. Working through the maze of all the different specialists for spouse and both sons as their caregiver (they are deceased now) and then be given the same sentence is overwhelming. You can not deny to yourself what you are facing.
I had the very unfortunate THOUGHTLESS breast care SPECIALISTS have me in the office to deliver what the plan was for my care
She started by shuffling me and a friend into a little room with a dirty cringe worthy sofa and a white drawing board attached to the wall. Started drawing s boob and running through her power point type speech. My friend ask a question (friend is breast cancer survivor) and DR became angry that she dared interrupt her. she threw her felt pen to the floor and flopped down in her chair at which time she announced and I quote “well you are just dying” you are stage 4. However we should do mastectomies anyway” unquote
This is the most I have vented.
I left the doctors office with just the comment that I thanked her for the information however I would seek other care.
Wow what s journey.

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@nobody

I completely understand what the feelings are here
However I realize I have done exactly the reverse. I just shut down. My cancer experience begin with my spouse and both sons. You listen to what all the doctors are saying and try to figure out just what has happened in your family. How could this be it is not the correct order of things. I think all the time, however I just don’t talk to anyone about my thoughts. I’m known as a very strong person all my life. I’m the dear Abby for everyone. I just can’t discuss anything that pertains to me. Seems that those friends that have used me as an outlet for all their problems-relationship issues, unhappy with shopping you get the picture, just petty things with no real substance. Yet I listen. Have had to block my phone from some friends that yell and scream about their pettiness and have no idea what that is doing to me or for that matter they don’t care. Not many true friends. Working through the maze of all the different specialists for spouse and both sons as their caregiver (they are deceased now) and then be given the same sentence is overwhelming. You can not deny to yourself what you are facing.
I had the very unfortunate THOUGHTLESS breast care SPECIALISTS have me in the office to deliver what the plan was for my care
She started by shuffling me and a friend into a little room with a dirty cringe worthy sofa and a white drawing board attached to the wall. Started drawing s boob and running through her power point type speech. My friend ask a question (friend is breast cancer survivor) and DR became angry that she dared interrupt her. she threw her felt pen to the floor and flopped down in her chair at which time she announced and I quote “well you are just dying” you are stage 4. However we should do mastectomies anyway” unquote
This is the most I have vented.
I left the doctors office with just the comment that I thanked her for the information however I would seek other care.
Wow what s journey.

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Life is a journey and it’s gets harder as health matters are impacting lives- one shut down- be overwhelmed- not there for others and me- so sorry- I received cancer help outside my care parameters. And they far and beyond for me. Information is there but kindness matters more. And I make sure sure to do the things I need to – books, wanderings , etc to help me feel it’s all matters. Sorry I have not commucated with Mayo and the teams but struggles are real finically And emotionally . Take care

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@nobody

I completely understand what the feelings are here
However I realize I have done exactly the reverse. I just shut down. My cancer experience begin with my spouse and both sons. You listen to what all the doctors are saying and try to figure out just what has happened in your family. How could this be it is not the correct order of things. I think all the time, however I just don’t talk to anyone about my thoughts. I’m known as a very strong person all my life. I’m the dear Abby for everyone. I just can’t discuss anything that pertains to me. Seems that those friends that have used me as an outlet for all their problems-relationship issues, unhappy with shopping you get the picture, just petty things with no real substance. Yet I listen. Have had to block my phone from some friends that yell and scream about their pettiness and have no idea what that is doing to me or for that matter they don’t care. Not many true friends. Working through the maze of all the different specialists for spouse and both sons as their caregiver (they are deceased now) and then be given the same sentence is overwhelming. You can not deny to yourself what you are facing.
I had the very unfortunate THOUGHTLESS breast care SPECIALISTS have me in the office to deliver what the plan was for my care
She started by shuffling me and a friend into a little room with a dirty cringe worthy sofa and a white drawing board attached to the wall. Started drawing s boob and running through her power point type speech. My friend ask a question (friend is breast cancer survivor) and DR became angry that she dared interrupt her. she threw her felt pen to the floor and flopped down in her chair at which time she announced and I quote “well you are just dying” you are stage 4. However we should do mastectomies anyway” unquote
This is the most I have vented.
I left the doctors office with just the comment that I thanked her for the information however I would seek other care.
Wow what s journey.

Jump to this post

Nobody, thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us. I'm also finding that my health care pros seem to discount and brush off my questions and concerns. I think in my case, it is because I am 76 and if a specific concern, b.p. and kidney disease, isn't yet at the most critical stage, they just write it off as age.

A few weeks ago I wrote about my best friend's ongoing severe pain ff her stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis, lumpectomy, chemo and radiation treatments. Her pcp immediately referred her to the surgical oncologist who told her "the pain is something you are just going to have to live with". My post here and further research resulted in printing out many options to pursue before "just living with the pain".

What struck me in your post was that you tend to "just shut down". I compiled a "cliff notes" version of the printouts because my friend doesn't spend time researching or "wading through a bunch of verbiage" placed all in a pocket folder and called a kitchen table discussion/intervention with her and hubby.

Hubby and I got her to agree to ff up with her pcp. She called instead of making an appt. Although the nurse called and left a message for her to return the call, she didn't. This was 2-3 weeks ago. Whether she is in denial or just shuts down, I'm not sure but I was alarmed when when they were over the other day and her underarm pain from lymph nodes removal made her flinch with the slightest movement of her arm. In showing me the area, it was swollen and an 1 1/2 wide horizontal red band across the area made me think it was inflamed and possibly infected. That is when she confessed she hadn't call the pcp office back.

Hubby hadn't known about the swelling or inflammation and she hadn't told him of the doc's return message either. Yesterday he call the pcp's office and are now waiting for an apptm. with a pain mgt. specialist.

Like you, my friend is a great listener but also great deflector and non-sharer when it comes to her own personal issues. I understand the fear that can grip us but also know that avoidance and simple acceptance of a condition does nothing to move us to a better place. I am so happy you are being proactive with your care and letting the former pros know that you will be seeking other professional help.

What Kamama94 wrote is so relatable and true as well as what others here have responded for most of us when getting a serious health diagnosis and are seeking treatment. We are paying for our professional care and if our caregivers cannot treat us with the same concern and tact they would want to be treated, it is time to move on. Wishing you the very best and adding another voice to that of others that you are not alone and that we care. Please keep us informed as you move forward.

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@nobody

I completely understand what the feelings are here
However I realize I have done exactly the reverse. I just shut down. My cancer experience begin with my spouse and both sons. You listen to what all the doctors are saying and try to figure out just what has happened in your family. How could this be it is not the correct order of things. I think all the time, however I just don’t talk to anyone about my thoughts. I’m known as a very strong person all my life. I’m the dear Abby for everyone. I just can’t discuss anything that pertains to me. Seems that those friends that have used me as an outlet for all their problems-relationship issues, unhappy with shopping you get the picture, just petty things with no real substance. Yet I listen. Have had to block my phone from some friends that yell and scream about their pettiness and have no idea what that is doing to me or for that matter they don’t care. Not many true friends. Working through the maze of all the different specialists for spouse and both sons as their caregiver (they are deceased now) and then be given the same sentence is overwhelming. You can not deny to yourself what you are facing.
I had the very unfortunate THOUGHTLESS breast care SPECIALISTS have me in the office to deliver what the plan was for my care
She started by shuffling me and a friend into a little room with a dirty cringe worthy sofa and a white drawing board attached to the wall. Started drawing s boob and running through her power point type speech. My friend ask a question (friend is breast cancer survivor) and DR became angry that she dared interrupt her. she threw her felt pen to the floor and flopped down in her chair at which time she announced and I quote “well you are just dying” you are stage 4. However we should do mastectomies anyway” unquote
This is the most I have vented.
I left the doctors office with just the comment that I thanked her for the information however I would seek other care.
Wow what s journey.

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@nobody I am glad you posted here, and I sincerely hope that allowing yourself to vent, has made you feel a bit less burdened. Is there a social worker connected with the cancer center you go to, or are you able to take advantage of a patient support group or other talk therapy, in your area? Reading your post, it had been a very difficult road, and continues to be so, for you. For that, my heart goes out to you.

Yes, it is difficult to always be the one who listens, and doesn't have someone to talk over your own concerns. Take care of yourself, and release with love, those whose "problems" just cannot be solved by you. Look for your own support system, like your friend who went with you to that appointment.

What other care have you sought out, now? How are you feeling, after venting [your words!] here? How can we help you, here at Mayo Connect? We do care.
Ginger

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Today after reading your post and others response I cried haven’t took time to cry in 12 years

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@nobody

Today after reading your post and others response I cried haven’t took time to cry in 12 years

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@nobody When my dad passed in 2012, whom i was close to, a friend told me "There is healing in salt water. The ocean, sweat, and tears." I hope this eases your mind some.
Ginger

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