Problem with defecation related to anal stenosis, (bad surgery)

I am a 90 year old great-grandma who is hoping someone out there has some advice for me with a fairly recent "wrinkle" in my health issue.
I had a stapled hemorrhoidectomy in 2007. The surgeon somehow allowed the device to "slip" so I've been told and the incision line was in the dentate line in one place. I've been told that is why I had excruciating pain for many, many months and was unable to pass any stool pain free. I was on pain medication for most of the last 19 years.
In addition, 3 months after the surgery, the surgeon discovered I had a fissure as well. That also required surgery. A different surgeon, some months later, after doing an exam under anasthesia, did another procedure he described as a "flap" shaped incision in order to relieve some of the severe stricture in one area.
The several colorectal surgeons I have seen over the years, (referrals from every new primary) have told me that because of the fissure, I need to take Miralax daily. I have done so and am able to defecate. All have done exams under anasthesia as it's not possible for them to exam me any other way.
I am relatively pain free now but have constant management issues because of this. My stool is pencil thin and I don't evacuate much at a time. I have alway had bowel urgency as a result of the this surgery and wear a pad and check for bathrooms in any new place.
I have always had occasional bouts of diarrhea which don't seem connected to diet or the meds specifically. Early on, it was more of a problem but in recent years I felt I was managing pretty well and was able participate in most family functions with not much worry.
Lately however, I am dealing with intermittent explosive diarrhea much more often and the urgency is much worse when this happens.
I have had "blow outs", (my description) at a couple of stores when I was unable to make it to the bathroom quick enough. I am old but perfectly ambulatory, no walker, no cane. It's so upsetting, trying to clean up with toilet paper and wipes I carry and change underwear and clean up any mess you make.
I've cut back on the Miralax somewhat but can't discontinue as my stool won't pass if it hardens much at all. Can be formed but not "normal" consistency.
I eat a healthy diet, including a lot of fruit and veggies.
I know there are a lot of folks out there with Crohn's and IBS with diarrhea and possibly some who have had anal surgery that went bad as well, who suffer with similar problems and I'm hoping someone has discovered some ways to cope with this so I don't have to just stop leaving the house.
Thanks to anyone who responds.