Positive Experiences through Epilepsy

@baa Hi again,
I can very well feel your words reverberate in my ears. I have been a mega J on the MBTI (I do not know if you have heard of this well-respected assessment test) in the past, liking to have it all under my control. With the epilepsy experience. I have learned to be more flexible, dealing better with unplanned events in my life and learning not to have all under my control all the time, something that my dear ex-boss had already told me to work on. She used to tease me by saying my little German hahaha (my mother is German and her culture had a great influence on my upbringing). My boss, on the other hand, was the opposite of my J, P. Nowadays, I see how much energy my J profile drained out from me. Becoming less J with my epilepsy has been for sure another positivity I gained through this experience. Here is some more information on the MBTI in case you are interested: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/judging-or-perceiving.htm. There is no better or worse profile, but everything that is exaggerated is not good.
Please do not feel foolish for complaining about your epilepsy. I also did complain much about my epilepsy when I was not accepting it, though I knew that there were people in a much worse situation than mine. As Desmond Tutu says "we are a masterpiece in the making, we are not perfect yet". I also had the same questions you have today: is my faith weaker than I thought? Be gentle and nice to yourself with all those feelings, I see them as a natural thing that arises in such situations. Fortunately, I did not have Jake's experience of this awful reaction from others. It must have been terrible, Jake, I am very sorry. As I mentioned, some people distanced themselves from me after I had revealed my condition. With that, I got to know who are my true friends and people I can trust. Nowadays, it is I that want to distance myself from those people who have put me aside because of my condition, I am the one that does not want to maintain relationships with those people.
Crossing my fingers for you 🙂 Where there is WILL there is POWER!

Hello and thank you for the info. I will look up a neuropsychologist online and see what I find. And I am keeping a granddaughter tomorrow - they have Netflix and all, so I will try to find the documentary. Thank you for sharing - it is very much appreciated. Baa

@bba, perhaps your epileptologist or neurologist can recommend you a neuropsychologist. Mine has been recommended by my doctor. Perhaps other group members can help you with referrals.? Write a post and ask. I would certainly recommend mine to you if she were in the States.
Have a lovely weekend with your granddaughter. I did so much appreciate my time with my sweet grandmother.
Santosha

Dear All,
First a very good morning to all of you!
After watching the documentary Mission Joy: Finding Happiness in Troubled Times with Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, I have started to read "The Book of Joy" on which this documentary was based.
Both Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu have experienced some kind of suffering in their lives. Dalai Lama has experienced the suffering of exile and Desmond Tutu has experienced the suffering of Apartheid and faced prostate cancer. This book explores how both of them have maintained contentment despite those experiences, bringing much reflection to me.
I have so selected some parts of the first chapters I have read and translated them into English (I am reading this book in Portuguese, but it is also available in English). I have also added some personal comments.
"More recent research by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky shows that 3 factors that seem to increase our happiness are the ability to reset our situation in a more positive way, the ability to experience gratitude, and the choice to be kind and generous" - I more than never see today that accepting my epilepsy and the new life that came with it has been a turning point to regaining joy in my life. I understand that accepting my "new" condition has meant the ability to reset my situation and to start looking at this experience at another angle and perspective. As @jakedduck1 has well written "adversity taught me positivity"!
"How we face the things that seem to be negative in our life determines the kind of person we become. If we find all of this frustrating, we'll walk out tight and just angry, wanting to break it all." "When we discover contentment, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters."- Desmond Tutu. - When I have been diagnosed with epilepsy and started my treatment, experiencing much pain, I turned into a very angry and disgusted person, angry at God, angry towards the doctors that treated me, and angry towards my life. But with the support of my dear husband and my neuropsychologist, I could find the energy inside me that moved me forward in this battle. At first, all seemed negative and so unfair. But with this energy and the support of beloved people around me, I could find a good doctor and a better treatment for my epilepsy. And once I have accepted my epilepsy, all that seemed so negative in my life started to change.
"When we talk about experiencing happiness, we need to know that there are two types of happiness. The first is the appreciation of pleasure through the senses. But we can also experience happiness on the deepest level through our mind." "If we look at materialistic life today, people seem primarily concerned with sensory experiences." "The ultimate source of happiness is within us. It's not in the money, it's not in the power, it's not in the status"."Many of the things that undermine our contentment are of our own making. They often come from the mind's negative tendencies, emotional reactivity, or an inability to appreciate and utilize the resources within us.""You need to pay more attention to the mental level of contentment and happiness. Not just physical pleasure, but gratification on the mental level. This is the true state of contentment. When you are in a state of contentment and happiness on a mental level, the physical pain doesn't matter as much. But if there is no contentment and happiness on the mental level, a lot of worries and a lot of fear, then even physical comfort and pleasures will not alleviate your mental discomfort." - Dalai Lama
I see today that much of my suffering was based on the loss of pleasures of life based on sensory experiences and my materialist life. Through therapy, the support of beloved people and the practice of yoga/meditation, I could experience more and more of this gratification on a mental level that Dalai Lama mentions in this book.
I do hope that the parts I have selected from "The Book of Joy" do bring hope and faith to those who are still very angry about their epilepsy and experiencing much suffering with it. Please do continue your battle, do not give up! Remember that you are not alone in this!!!
With much kindness and love!
Santosha

@baa Good Morning
Reading The Book of Joy, I came across a part that reminded me of one post you did recently. Here it comes:
"I believe we shouldn't make people feel guilty when things are painful. It's painful, and you have to recognize that it's painful. But actually, even in the midst of that pain, you need to acknowledge the kindness of the nurse taking care of you. It may be the skill of the surgeon who will operate on you. Still, sometimes the pain can get so intense that you don't even have the ability to do it. The point is, don't feel guilty." - Desmond Tutu sharing his experience of prostate cancer treatment.
Have a nice weekend!
Santosha

Thank you dear Santosha! How beautiful and truthful. I can remember so many times while working with elders how their appreciation for even tiny acts of kindness warmed my heart. I learned a lot from them, and now I am the elder. Thank you for the reminder of a true life lesson.

Hi @baa
We can learn so much from elderly people, especially love, among many other things.
As I kid, I can say that I have been quite lucky as I was surrounded by many elderly people, my German grandmother and her friends, my adopted "Brazilian" grandmother (she was born in the US) and many other elderly family members. My German grandmother lived through the two world wars and even though she faced very difficult situations in her life, she always had a smile on her face and contentment to share. She is still an example to me, a person with whom I have learned many values and someone I always ask for her strength in my prayers. I am sure you have much to share with us, @baa.
Santosha

Please explain what a neuropsychologist is and how they have helped you. I dont do well on medications, I react adversely. It seems like my Drs just want to fill me with pills.

Hi @thelmathomas76
A neuropsychologist is a psychologist who is specialized in neurological issues. I have copied here a link with more information on it: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24691-neuropsychologist.
I started with my neuropsychologist in 2019, first with a neuropsychological evaluation to evaluate any impacts of my epilepsy on my brain functions. She was very caring and patient with me during all this evaluation and I stayed with her. She has helped a lot in the acceptance of my epilepsy.
You said that you are not doing well with medications. The same happened to me. About 1/3 of patients with epilepsy have what is called refractory epilepsy or drug-resistant epilepsy. Some types of epilepsy have a higher incidence of refractory epilepsy such as temporal lobe epilepsy with mesial sclerosis, like I have.
I copy here a presentation of the Epilepsy Foundation on it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuQJ7PUtweI&list=PLjjNLpxtjihMuEy0geqIqkBGTKTkFxIr4&index=14&t=1639s
Chris (@santosha)