Positive emotions dwindling

Posted by chris20 @chris20, Apr 24 7:00am

My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago, and the diagnosis included "paranoid ideation" which caused much hostility, especially towards me, her 24/7 caregiver. The gerontologist prescribed Seroquel which has helped significantly, along with the Zoloft. It has bothered me that her ability to love, be thoughtful of others, or even grieve family losses, has faded away. Someone pointed out to me that the anti psychotic medication, while reducing paranoia and hostility, also reduces the positive emotions. I don't know why I didn't see that before.

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gloro | @gloro | Apr 24 12:30pm

Your post touched my heart. Dementia is a many-headed monster and presents itself differently to each of us. LO is 94, and I am 86, probably much older than you. Mostly, he is pleasant but withdrawn. Not at all the level of loss that is your daily slog. But we have been at it so long that I have learned everything, anything, seemingly nothing at all, can present new personality traits. Do not beat yourself up because your diagnostic antenna did not receive the message that new medication can contribute to change. Dig deep; there is a vein of strength to tap into that every caregiver on this site has had to find. And mostly, be kind to yourself. You are doing the extraordinary work that loving someone demands.

chris20 | @chris20 | Apr 24 1:07pm

Thank you for this kind and thoughtful response. I will be 80 in November, so you're not that much older. I retired at 70 and have been a full time caregiver most of the time since. Caregiver burnout is my daily fare. So many of us going through the same or similar challenges. My dog Mindy, my greatest comfort and joy, passed away last week and I am heartbroken.

1995victoria | @1995victoria | Apr 25 7:28am

Maybe after a while you might consider rescuing a new dog to help you in your caregiving role......all the best....

chris20 | @chris20 | Apr 25 7:51am

In reply to @1995victoria "Maybe after a while you might consider rescuing a new dog to help you in your..." + (show)

Thank you for suggesting this, I know it will take a while but before too long, I will start looking.

gloro | @gloro | Apr 25 8:10am

It seems unnecessarily cruel that you should have lost your pooch, Cindy. I have loved doggies myself and often wish that either my Woody or Alice were still around to comfort me. There was so much love for a walk and a bowl of food. But I resist because Russ needs my care. Now, I ask every stranger I meet who has a dog with them if I can give a scratch behind the ears, and I ooh and ahh like an idiot at the doggie faces on the TV. Pet is a really lovely word with multiple meanings: a favorite, a caress. I have given the sweet dogs who have helped me through hard times what I consider the highest honor; Doggie of my Heart.

boppi | @boppi | Apr 25 8:54am

In reply to @chris20 "Thank you for suggesting this, I know it will take a while but before too long,..." + (show)

I am so sorry for the passing of your adorable pup! My daughter is a veterinarian who takes her Golden Retriever to the hospital regularly as a therapy dog for just those petting moments. We have two Standard Poodle rescues whom we adore but dogs do require much more attention than cats, we have found and when our last female cat had a heart attack, I was devastated without my lap companion. We adopted a sweetheart who had been fostered from a kitten and is perhaps the sweetest animal companion who follows me everywhere now. Maybe try giving a sweet cat a home…a rescue who has been fostered and socialized?