Please allow me to {{{scream}}} and yes, I'm crying

Posted by summerof42 @summerof42, Aug 20, 2023

I switched to a new PCP as a result of getting nowhere for past 3 yrs and extremely worsening with each and every month and now almost incapacitated and can't even drive. Like all of us, we need support! The new PCP basically new nothing, showed her some of my labs and she said it's out of her web of knowledge, but will order some add'l labs; here we go again. Labs came back showing low B-12 and ferritin (still within normal range but low normal) She sent me to a Hematologist/Oncologist. Had appt 2 weeks ago. He walked in the room talking a hundred miles an hour, said he looked at my chart, labs and that I had a ton of work done and seen numerous docs (of course I was referred because no docs can figure it out) wouldn't even look at me to discuss how I'm feeling, my symptoms, examine me. . . nada. Said you need B-12 injections and iron infusions. What? When I tried to ask questions, and share some of symptoms, etc he was already was walking out of the room. I tried to tell him my B-12, iron, ferritin were even lower, pre-covid and I felt great, but he wouldn't listen. Stood up and said, "my nurse will arrange for it." My brother came with me in the room and said he was shocked by his somewhat crazy "Kramer-like" demeanor.

Had my first B-12 injection, and of course no change whatsoever, actually worse.

So here's where I want to {{{SCREAM}}} after reading his after visit notes. I have no chance now of getting help anywhere as I am now branded for sure. To be honest since my last PCP said it's all just anxiety since day 1, I couldn't get anyone to listen or understand.

After visit notes: (in CAPS are my comments)
" She reports having long covid w pain wt loss fatigue palpitations for several yrs. REPORTS? IT WAS DOCUMENTED BY MAYO AND AN ENDO. She has seen various physicians but has not committed to seeing one physician as a PCP over time. NOt TRUE! I HAD MY LAST PCP FOR OVER 30 YRS, HE RETIRED AND HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH SAME PCP (who was terrible) SINCE BECOMING ILL FOR THE LAST 3 YRS! I DECIDED TO LEAVE HIS CARE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T CARE TO HELP WHATSOEVER.

I explained for my purposes (she also saw Heme-Onc at MCW which agreed w my following assessment), we can correct her iron and b12. I discussed AE's from IV iron including infusion reactions. NEVER DISCUSS REACTIONS. I'M PROBABLY ADDING FUEL TO MY ALRADY FIRE WITH LT COVID.

Of note GI here, Dr G suggested her issues are functional in nature. She told me he does not believe she is eating what she describes and indeed she has not documented it for him. He offered a full workup for absorption, also a PEG, but she declined his recommendation/offer for anything earlier this month. NOT TRUE! I DID AN ABSORBTION TEST AND DIDN'T SEE ANY SENSE IN REPEATING. ALSO, DAILY FOOD DIARY KEPT AS WELL AS DOCUMENTED WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL!

Clearly she has some issues w mental health documented, also her use of various doctors across multiple systems (NW, MCW, Advocate, Froedtert South, Ascension), suggests to some degree problems with reliability, insight, openness to ideas/options and/or secondary gain. WHAT? "mental health issue?*^%%$! YES, I HAVE ANXIETY, BUT WHO WOULDN'T AFTER SUFFERING 3 YRS AND GETTING NO HELP WHATSOEVER.

She declined further Gi eval.

I explained IV iron, causes (bleeding absorption issues), start iron b12 now, cbc/ferritin in 2-3 mo. See me then. I ASKED IF HE FEELS I HAVE LOW IRON DUE TO INTERNAL BLEEDING AND HE SAID NO.

I suggest return to tertiary care for various complaints but also suggested better longitudinal care w a PCP to coordinate. NEVER MENTIONED ANY SUCH THING, SINCE HE REALLY WOULDN'T TALK TO ME.

I give up and going into the basemen to scream and cry. I have nowhere to turn. This is why when I was down to 89 lbs and went to the hospital they wouldn't help and dismissed me next day. I'm branded. All I needed from day 1 was one good, kind and caring MD who would help and if he didn't have answers help me in finding them.

**update** Last few weeks my throat has been hurting when trying to swallow. Went to Urgent Care fearing Covid again, test was negative. Now I noticed a red spot on back of throat with a white/cream colored spot in center and neck feels tender. Last endo said I had lymph nodes. I called the Oncologist/Hematologist informing them because I want to make sure there is no conflict or danger in getting the iron infusion with this newly formed spot in back of throat and asked the nurse to talk to the doctor, and she said he wouldn't get involved in this and just come in for the infusion.

ALSO, my new labs show low Zinc - hello Covid and immune system, but not one Doc will listen or even cares. Even when I developed the chalazion below lower lash line, Derm said it's usually due to an immune disorder, I had to have 2 surgeries became it became infected, still there and gets ignored.

How I wish I lived in Madison to go to the ER or Mayo's ER. Down to 90 lbs scared, sick, alone, shaking and so confused.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Post-COVID Recovery & COVID-19 Support Group.

Hi @summerof42. Everything you shared is true I have no doubt as Im sure many others in any of these support groups could attest to. I have a son who basically suffered broken neck and compressed spine and took a year to get his medical records accurate which by then the neurosurgeon said due to the time any curable measures attempted would leave him a quadriplegic and lives now permanently disabled. My daughter same issue of endless contacts to get records accurate and finally a PCP who took the time to write one paragraph stating the records do not reflect her debilitating symptoms preventing any semblance of daily living. I share this as I hope you continue to fight by contacting the healthcare systems medical records dept. for formal corrections request by providing your documents proving the correct information . Then these correction requests copies with the corrected records can be hand carried in a small concise folder to all appointments and available to submit easily in the future when needed. I am not trivializing the work and frustration involved in having to do this, especially when dealing with these unimaginable health issues, as my daughter literally had 4,000 pgs, Suggest starting with one most important or area easily covered and allow the time and effort without setting your health back. I literally take a whole day to find needed info., next day write 5 min. to complete form, next day to copy, and last to prep/address for mail. I know you are strong just the way you fight here and all of us want to see you conquer this and win your healing journey! 🌈

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I see you.
I feel your frustration.
This is not medical advice.
You do need a PCP who cares about you and sees you as a human being.
My PCP left the practice. I tried 4 different PCP’s over the course of a few months. None of them understood the 10 page report that the Mayo long covid clinic prepared. Thus, they couldn’t help me manage all of the specialists I needed to see.
Unfortunately, in America- our system is designed to maximize the profit of our illnesses. It is not designed to figure out that our brain and our nerves maybe impacting our gastrointestinal processes. Only our PCP, who has 15 minutes with us, looks at us a whole human being.
In the usa, I think that people with chronic illnesses, like “persistent sars2”, me/cf, etc., need the best PCP money can buy. I decided to pay for concierge healthcare. Patients pay a fee to have more time with a PCP, access to testing, responses to my chart messages..
I know that most people can’t afford to pay a fee to have access to a doctor. Our healthcare plans should provide healthcare- but they don’t, and definitely not for chronic covid.
My advice:
1)Ask the doctor to remove all of the notes, as they are sexist and shaming.
2)Get a PCP who knows about chronic covid , or at least me/cf or MS
3)Don’t give up. It’s YOUR life- fight for it.

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@theressa

I see you.
I feel your frustration.
This is not medical advice.
You do need a PCP who cares about you and sees you as a human being.
My PCP left the practice. I tried 4 different PCP’s over the course of a few months. None of them understood the 10 page report that the Mayo long covid clinic prepared. Thus, they couldn’t help me manage all of the specialists I needed to see.
Unfortunately, in America- our system is designed to maximize the profit of our illnesses. It is not designed to figure out that our brain and our nerves maybe impacting our gastrointestinal processes. Only our PCP, who has 15 minutes with us, looks at us a whole human being.
In the usa, I think that people with chronic illnesses, like “persistent sars2”, me/cf, etc., need the best PCP money can buy. I decided to pay for concierge healthcare. Patients pay a fee to have more time with a PCP, access to testing, responses to my chart messages..
I know that most people can’t afford to pay a fee to have access to a doctor. Our healthcare plans should provide healthcare- but they don’t, and definitely not for chronic covid.
My advice:
1)Ask the doctor to remove all of the notes, as they are sexist and shaming.
2)Get a PCP who knows about chronic covid , or at least me/cf or MS
3)Don’t give up. It’s YOUR life- fight for it.

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1. I tried to get the records corrected and they refuse.
2. I tried to get a new PCP with no luck. As a matter of fact, when I saw the new one mentioned above, who was a really young female PCP, she pretty much brushed me off and said it's out of league. I still stuck with her because I NEED a doctor! However, in the interim I went to a new doctor, DO for another opinion which my neighbor said is really good, but then the new PCP found out and her nurse called me and said, she was dropping because I went to see another MD.
3. There's no hope because of what my records now show, and no doctor will accept me.
4. Heading back to bed. . . can't stop crying. I'm trying hard not to, because I don't want to gt dehydrated and 90lbs. I pray to our Dear Lord to help and give me strength, but how much more can I tolerate and go on?

Hugs to all

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Please know that I see you and I hear you.
You are not alone.
Here are some links to things that have helped me.
Regarding you PCP-What does she tell her patients with ms? Is it out of her league? Then she should refer you to someone who can help you.

https://longcovidalliance.org/resources/patients/https://www.nature.com/articles/s41579-023-00896-0
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@theressa

Please know that I see you and I hear you.
You are not alone.
Here are some links to things that have helped me.
Regarding you PCP-What does she tell her patients with ms? Is it out of her league? Then she should refer you to someone who can help you.

https://longcovidalliance.org/resources/patients/https://www.nature.com/articles/s41579-023-00896-0

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@Forlom Theressa,
Thank you kindly for being there for me. I'm trying so hard, I really am, and I clicked on the link to try and find an MD familiar with LT Covid. Every link I clicked seemed to want an email address or google sign-in to obtain which I don't have or wish to create.

I have always been so independent and strong, but the tell us if you need help, ask. . . so here it goes. Please our Dearest Lord, hear my prayer. I live in Wisconsin on the far north side near Illinois border. If anyone has a great MD they are working with successfully, or know of a clinic I can go to, PLEASE help in providing me info.

I'm so weak at this point and in so much pain, I no longer can find the strength and mind set compared to where I was 3 yrs ago when this all began.

This is what is so frustrating, all the doctors see me in this condition and don't care. What happened to their ethics and oath?

When I reached out to my last doctor on how much worse I am, his nurse messaged me, not even called, and told me if I feel that ill to go to the ER. Problem being, been there, done that and they go by previous notes and his records and just dismiss me. Especially being older at 68 yrs.

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@summerof42

@Forlom Theressa,
Thank you kindly for being there for me. I'm trying so hard, I really am, and I clicked on the link to try and find an MD familiar with LT Covid. Every link I clicked seemed to want an email address or google sign-in to obtain which I don't have or wish to create.

I have always been so independent and strong, but the tell us if you need help, ask. . . so here it goes. Please our Dearest Lord, hear my prayer. I live in Wisconsin on the far north side near Illinois border. If anyone has a great MD they are working with successfully, or know of a clinic I can go to, PLEASE help in providing me info.

I'm so weak at this point and in so much pain, I no longer can find the strength and mind set compared to where I was 3 yrs ago when this all began.

This is what is so frustrating, all the doctors see me in this condition and don't care. What happened to their ethics and oath?

When I reached out to my last doctor on how much worse I am, his nurse messaged me, not even called, and told me if I feel that ill to go to the ER. Problem being, been there, done that and they go by previous notes and his records and just dismiss me. Especially being older at 68 yrs.

Jump to this post

Summerof42:
Praying for you and I am so sorry. I hope these suggestions help in some small way:

1) The medical field is different since Covid. Doctors no longer can spend a lot of time with you like before and there is a nursing shortage. My PCP of 32 years retired and he was wonderful. You may try a few more until you find someone that will listen.

2) LONG COVID IS REAL!!! PCP's are not that familiar with long Covid NOR the symptoms with it because Covid has not been around that long. A Long Covid Recovery Clinic is your best bet. (Forgive me but I can't remember if you have been to one)

3) I went to 5 doctors about some issues with the mucousy saliva in my mouth after Covid and none of them could diagnose me. Why? They are not familiar with a lot of the Long Covid issues and are still learning. The Long Covid Recovery Clinic gave me answers to that and I am grateful.

4) I have had to go to Urgent Care recently for pneumonia, asthmatic bronchitis & sinus infection. I got great care and they were very proactive. It's harder to get into a PCP's office, get a lung x-ray since Covid than just simply going to an urgent care.

5) My body changed greatly after Covid and I have long Covid that has affected my joints, mouth, reflux, upper respiratory, immune system & energy. I have accepted that. I do not have as hard of issues as you do. I am reading everything I can get my hands on and listening to others on here to get a "fresher" outlook on Long Covid and what helps. Personally, I am going to go to an integrative medicine doctor that thinks "outside the box" on health issues. I think we need both with Long Covid.

6) Sometimes when you have a lot of medical issues, you have to unpeel each layer like an onion....one layer at a time. Get the worst thing treated first and then go to the next.

I believe with all of my heart, there is someone that can help you and I am praying for that. I care! Hugs & Prayers....

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@covidstinks2023,
Thank you for hugs & prayers which are greatly appreciated and needed at this point and my only hope.

You're lucky you are getting the care you need at UC, I can't go anywhere to get help. It makes me so angry that by now the entire medical community is not aware of LT Covid and how to support patients, send them to clinics, etc. Of the many doctors I've seen in 3 yrs, I received no support. . . and that includes Mayo! I saw an Internal MD who was terrible and said I'll give you a Rx for Guanfacine and that was it. Even when I tried to message him via mychart and numerous phone calls he will not call me back. I'm told he's too busy.

I pray every night our Dear Lord hears my prayers and the support and Dr. I need is sent my way. Problem is, after 3 yrs I'm so ill now and I have a ton of layers to peel off the onion. Like my post indicates, because they all write down now that's it's anxiety and a mental health issue, I'm ignored and left to wither away and that I have went to many doctors and can't stick with one. That is a total lie. I had my PCP for over 30 yrs before he retired, the new PCP which was horrible, I have stuck with for 3 yrs until 2 weeks ago when I decided to find someone that could help me. I can guarantee you that those Dr's would do the same if they were in our shoes.

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@summerof42

@covidstinks2023,
Thank you for hugs & prayers which are greatly appreciated and needed at this point and my only hope.

You're lucky you are getting the care you need at UC, I can't go anywhere to get help. It makes me so angry that by now the entire medical community is not aware of LT Covid and how to support patients, send them to clinics, etc. Of the many doctors I've seen in 3 yrs, I received no support. . . and that includes Mayo! I saw an Internal MD who was terrible and said I'll give you a Rx for Guanfacine and that was it. Even when I tried to message him via mychart and numerous phone calls he will not call me back. I'm told he's too busy.

I pray every night our Dear Lord hears my prayers and the support and Dr. I need is sent my way. Problem is, after 3 yrs I'm so ill now and I have a ton of layers to peel off the onion. Like my post indicates, because they all write down now that's it's anxiety and a mental health issue, I'm ignored and left to wither away and that I have went to many doctors and can't stick with one. That is a total lie. I had my PCP for over 30 yrs before he retired, the new PCP which was horrible, I have stuck with for 3 yrs until 2 weeks ago when I decided to find someone that could help me. I can guarantee you that those Dr's would do the same if they were in our shoes.

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I'm so sorry. On my knees praying for you right now. God is able....

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Hi Summerof42,
I'm so sorry to hear of all your problems physically and especially with uncaring doctors! That's awful! But I'm glad that you are praying! Frankly, that is all you really need since it doesn't sound like the doctors and others you've seen pay any attention to you or your medical needs! Pray fervently and often! God will answer your prayers sooner or later. Don't be afraid to tell God to "hurry up! I'm hurting! Thank you!" I've said that to God often and it works! The world today is different and not good. It states in the Book of Ephesians to "pray fervently in the evil day" which is what we are in and it sounds like you are running into that evil often! Keep looking for a caring doctor and keep praying. I will pray for you too. Have faith! Everything will be OK! By the way, it's alright to cry. God made us that way.
PML

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As an ICU nurse for 40 years, I am ashamed that you are receiving such poor care. I found in a complicated situation, it’s best to see a rheumatologist. They take a lot of time listening. Initial appointments are 60-90 minutes long. They start at square 1. You don’t need to bring records as they do their own testing.

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