I have horrible thoughts around knives. Paranoia? Depression?

I have a fifteen year history of depression. My SAD gets very bad with the time change, I sleep for extended periods of time. I have had had horrible thoughts when I am around knives. I feel uncomfortable around them.

I said to my psychiatrically nurse practitioner I am afraid of knives, I meant I am uncomfortable. She harshly said maybe it is paranoia not depression! How I put you on Amblify or ? Some medicine that begins with a P
I will tell her the psychiatrist I have seen( once saw) would say to me are you really afraid of knives? I would tell him I am uncomfortable around them.
She shall go right ahead and try to switch my diagnosis and I shall give her a good switch. She is horrible, abrupt with teletherapy. A mental health specialist who gives you mental health problems.

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