Overthinking and living in fear

Posted by desidawn @desidawn, Sep 26, 2023

I need help with fear and overthinking. Most of this fear centers around my health. How can I stop worrying so much about health issues. Today I have set paralyzed in fear over a medication I took. I read that it has put people in wheelchairs and ruined peoples lives. I am praying that this doesn't happen to me. Please if you have any advice for me, I will take it. I am 39 and have dealt with this since I was 16.

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in reply to @desidawn I have completed reading the book I recommended, and can say with a high degree of certainty, that it has been life changing. I would encourage anyone who has anxiety to read this book. I have already been putting to use some of the suggestions found in the book, and I feel a whole lot better

"The book is Calm Your Thoughts: Stop Overthinking, Stop Overstressing, and Start Living Again" by Nick Trenton.

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@dloos

Everyone responds differently.
Believe me if any antidepressant had worked for me I’d have taken it! But, I do know people who regret getting started on them.
My depression is rooted in my inability to get help for my health issues. I was not depressed before getting sick. IF I had help with my health, I believe my other issues would resolve.
It’s very frustrating.

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That's how I would: Last Resort...after I've exhausted all what I can do MYSELF: Eating nutritious food with lots of vegs and fruits and some nuts and seeds with couple small cookies with coffee, Start my day with a large glass of cold water and stretches and back strengthening and later aerobics (stairs, brisk walk, kicking air soccer with full force gets me in the zone within three mins) It never disappoints me with sound sleep in a 80 y.o. skelton.
I go to bed knowing what to accomplish the next day and beyond, aka, vision/purpose in life. I seek health Not for its own sake but for the sake of what I need health and strength for. But I'm unlucky where it's not entirely in my control: socially energising connection.
But I keep trying one new way at least each day. Tomorrow I'll try to entice the depression group I take part in over zoom. Depression is a significant factor for diabetes 2. A horrible disease as we know. And one thing that helps keep it at bay is sharing healthy habits -- food, activity, mentally challenging talks.

I truly hope we all find our social circles in person, or at least over phone -- as the lucky one, ray666 an 86 y.o.) in Mayo Connect?

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Wow, nice recipe, incudes diet exercise (stretching) and lifestyle - those are the secrets in my opinion, not the next big pharma miracle drug. Thanks for sharing.

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@dloos

Thank you. I am sick and sometimes I feel dismissed that it is all “emotional and in my head”. No, not true.

However, I do agree with you that obsessing only makes everything worse. I am planning to see a phycologist. In my area it is hard to get an appointment.

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@dloos - yep, I too went to one doctor after another, in and out of emergency rooms, each telling me it was “emotional and all in your head”. Finally I found a new physician who suspected what it was and sent me to a rheumatologist. Within five minutes of examination the rheumatologist told me I had fibromyalgia, then sent me for some tests which confirmed her diagnosis and my new physician’s suspicion. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks too, so a lot of times my symptoms were brushed off as just that, and I too was told to see a psychiatrist.

If you are in Canada - especially Ontario - there is a long wait list to see anyone.

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Yes, I feel terrified a lot that I'm about to die or someone is, I can't go to sleep I'm afraid too. Panic, anxiety attacks. Pretty much most of every day and night.

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@sleepstate

Yes, I feel terrified a lot that I'm about to die or someone is, I can't go to sleep I'm afraid too. Panic, anxiety attacks. Pretty much most of every day and night.

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I totally understand and know the feelings. My heart and prayers are with you and all who suffer from these horrifying situations. It's saddens me that people who have never experienced anxiety/panic attacks feel like it's all in our heads and feel we can easily overcome such episodes by simply getting busy and thinking about something else....it's not that easy!!!!!!!

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in reply to @sleepstate At the risk of sounding like a broken record, the book I recommended has been life changing

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To deal with excessive, unproductive worry
Here is a trick I learned from my therapist:

Make an appointment with yourself to worry. Or add "worry time" to your list of chores. Say, every day I will worry from 10:00 to 10:15 in the morning. If you start to worry at any other time, you say to yourself, "Oops, I can't worry now (and get on with your life task or pleasure of that moment). I can worry about it tomorrow at 10:00."

This isn't a cure or anything, but it can help you stop allowing worry to exhaust you all day every day.

Don't set your worry time too close to bedtime. If worry keeps you awake, tell yourself that you can and will think about it at your next worry appointment.

I liked to have my worry time in the late morning. Sometimes the worry time made me think of something I could actually do to solve the problem that worried me. If I worried in the late morning, then I had the rest of the day to do the "something" that could help. And I had the rest of the day to live my life.

Harry Potter fans-- Like with the pensieve for memories, I take my worries out of my brain and stick them on my worry list. Sometimes I write my worries in a list. I actually visualize using my fingers to remove them from my temple and putting them on my paper...to use at my next worry appointment. Kinda silly but it works for me.

Sorry this got so long. Hope it helps! All credit to my therapist who gave me these ideas! I'm still working on this stuff!

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@sleepstate

Yes, I feel terrified a lot that I'm about to die or someone is, I can't go to sleep I'm afraid too. Panic, anxiety attacks. Pretty much most of every day and night.

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Hi Sleepstate,
How terrible for you to have that anxiety so often or at all for that matter. Have you tried praying? God is there for you and he listens. Just talk to him like he's your best friend and he is! Tell him your fears and how you worry about dying. (God's in charge of that you know.) God's also in charge of the entire world and your personal life. He's there to help and he does. He's helped me through many problems over the years from illness to stopping my car on an icy road when it was heading for a drop-off! All I did was say, "God, do something!" and he did. The car came to a complete stop on the very icy road! Then, I asked him to help me get the car turned around and he did that too! I got home safely!

Also when you think of dying, remember that when you die you will be in Heaven; safe from fear and pain. Any loved ones you leave behind will be up there eventually with you. This includes animals too. My mom and I saw our St. Bernard dog, Max after he died. So, I know Max is up in Heaven and I will see him when I die.

I hope my comments help and don't offend. I just wanted to share some good thoughts and experiences with you. I will say a prayer for you.
PML

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Been there.

After my stroke, I was in constant terror having another. I had some panic attacks that were so severe I nearly passed out from hyperventilation.

At my wife's suggestion, I started repeating "I am safe, I am safe" virtually 24 hours a day, day after day.

It took a while, but eventually I calmed down. Every time my fear started to rise, I would intensify the "Safe" mantra until the fear passed.

I still repeat the mantra, especially as I'm trying to fall sleep, when doubts can really grab me by the throat.

Try it.

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