Okay, I need your responses and help with this one

I am going to ask for a prescription for one of those tall rollators, the ones that use use your arms to keep you upright instead of hunched over. I think that may help him quite a bit with his walking and shuffling because of his bad hip, back, etc. as the pressure on the arms will help take some of the pressure off his legs. At least I hope so.

And I am a bit teed that in all this time, none of the docs we have seen have suggested such a help item like this for him. Forget a regular rollator because he is tall and has to hunch over to use it. He shuffles ever so slowly with a cane and is unsteady that I am terrified he is going to fall and break a hip.

One final thing I want to point out is this. Over 25 years ago we lived in the Chicago area and shopped at the Jewel grocery store.

In the last week H has been commenting that when I go to Jewell I should pick him up some whatever he wants. The grocery store down here is Kroger or Wal-Mart and he knows that and use to call it that until the last week.

I don't know if that means or adds anything, but it seemed strange that after 25 years he should be calling the grocery store Jewell.

@kartwk I agree with using a tall rollator. The best reason why docs don’t refer you for “home equip” is that they believe it is better for the patient to get PT, strengthen his legs, and then make the rollator fit him. Several bells and whistles! And PT may want to see him after getting the rollator so they can see that it fits correctly and that he has good posture and works well with the rollator.
Was that at all helpful?

Yes is was. But none of the Docs have even suggest PT for him, but of course he won't ask for it and heaven help me if I do, LOL.

there are cognitive tests your doctor can order. That would identify perhaps what is going on.
My husband died before it got to this stage; however, I wouldn't argue with him. It's a losing battle
I'm sure there are others on here who will have better suggestions.

I've gone through everything you mentioned and I've learned to NOT disagree. either stay silent or agree because you will not win in the end. It's best to keep your significant other calm and not excited/upset. There is a long journey in front of you, so take it a day at a time and try to keep calm and less arguments are best for you.

I agree with DanL, it isn't worth it to argue with your husband. It appears that he is losing more of his short term memory and that may be why he is resorting to previous stores, etc. In the scheme of things, does it really matter what he calls it. You knew what he meant and so he is still communicating with you. Same with country names etc. He is most liking frustrated that he can't quite get it right. Pointing out to him when he is wrong doesn't help. In the beginning, I tried to correct my husband. Eventually I started biting my tongue so that I wouldn't try to correct him all the time. Now it is easier. I don't get upset and neither does he. I think because my husband would have good days and bad, I was in denial that he couldn't understand or didn't call things by the right name. Now I realize that it is a downward spiral and I appreciate his good days as a blessing. He is not going to "get over" dementia. It is what it is.

You have a boatload of stuff to deal with. I can only offer a few, humble suggestions and echo others’ (such as putting your own health first; as they say on airline flights, first secure your own oxygen before you assist another.)

To save time, write a heading of few words that pertain to the symptoms you observe and want the doc to hear. Add brief examples and expound when you can. For example:
FLUCTUATING SYMPTOMS
1. Sometimes he understands things; other times is confused about the very same things.
2. Blah and so on

MARKED DECLINE IN VISUAL SPATIAL ABILITY.
1. Inconsistent ability to distinguish between letters and symbols. (? , $).
2. Missed visual cues while driving to place that should be familiar.

FAILING ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND SIMPLE WORDS IN ORAL
COMMUNICATION
1. Audiologist determined his hearing is fine.
2. I say China; he hears Egypt.

SHUFFLING GAIT AND BENT-OVER POSTURE
1. Parkinsonisms ?

Ask for the Montreal Cognitive Assessment. It takes a few minutes, but is a place to start.

Does your husband have a loss of sense of smell? If so, list it.

Does he have disturbed sleep, such as snoring or leg-twitching, or does he cry out and flail as if acting out dream? If so, list it.

Does he have involuntary movements or jerking, if so…

Any incontinence or fainting or dizziness…

I am mostly familiar with Lewy Body Disease and dementia. Fluctuations in abilities and symptoms are the rule. But in earlier posts, you mentioned he has heart trouble. I wonder about vascular causes of cognitive impairment…?

Also, is the belligerent behavior new, or has he always been that way? Note changes.

Is this doc a neurologist or geriatric specialist? If not, can you get a referral?

None of this may help at all. I am sorry for that. But am most sorry for you! Please take care of you! The oxygen mask has dropped.

@kartwk My husband gets the facts wrong all the time. I am trying hard not to correct him. As others have mentioned, save your energy for safety issues. The symptoms come and go, which makes it hard to know what cognitive state your spouse is in. My husband has the same issues with characters on his phone and has stopped texting his friends. I have to change the TV APPs and channels for him. When he is telling a story about daughters he will not use their names. He will say “ you know our daughter…”.
Try to get your husband in with a neuropsychologist and not a neurologist. That doctor will be a better resource.
I have been attending virtual caregiver classes and they have helped a lot.
Good luck and let us know H’s appointment goes.

Upgirl2013 is right. A neuropsychologist would be better, especially one who deals explicitly with dementias and cognitive impairments in older people. We are lucky to have a neurologist who practices exclusively in this field, and he provided neuropsychologists for us. I understood from your posts that your greatest need right now is a diagnosis that will permit you to get the help you need. Best of luck, and let us know how it goes.