Need help! Depression and anxiety

Posted by pirateking @pirateking, Jul 22, 2016

I don’t know where else to go without going to a hospital. I’ve always had issues with depression and anxiety. It is tough to deal with, but I have a grasp of what it is at least. I’ve been taking 10MG of Lexapro and 1-1.5 MG of Klonopin to treat it. My psych doctor died in January and I started with a new doctor that upped my Lexapro to 20MG and put me on Buspar for anxiety.

She then decided to take me off the Klonpin. She had me go from 1-1.5 to only .5 a day a month ago and then cut me off. My anxity was already starting to increase that month, and a few days after I stopped the klonopin I faced massive panic attacks among a ton of other issues. It took some begging for help until she eventually put me on .5MG of Atavan but I don’t think it is working.

My current symptoms are this horrible brain fog that is impairing my basic functions. I forget things easily, I can’t concentrate. It feels like I’ve literally got dumber. I am clumsier. I keep almost walking into poles and today I almost got run over by a bus. I’m beyond irritable. I almost attacked a man on an elevator because of his breathing, and I’ve never had such violent thoughts before. I’ve had brief sucidical thoughts that I had to talk myself out of because I rationally know I don’t want to do that.

When I stretch my neck it hurts. It feels like my neck or back is violently ripping in two. I’m having out of body experinces. I am sitting at work and suddenly I am not sure if I am dreaming or not

I also have headaches, I’m pacing constantly. I am having muscle spasims, twitching, my hands tremble.

This is terrifying. I’ve never felt like this in my entire life and I don’t know what is going on. Is it the Buspar? The Atavan? The lack of Klonopin and should I go to the hosptial? My doctor isn’t around on the weekends. Any help will be appericated.

@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

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My insurance won’t pay for it, they’ll pay for ECT but not TMS as TMS hasn’t been approved by the FDA for Bipolar Disorder.

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Yes Cowboy let us know how the TMS goes for you. Are you Bipolar or just have depression?

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Good question. Have you heard anything about TMS being helpful for Dysthymia (Persistent Depressive Disorder)?

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@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

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What is TMS? I had severe depression and the last result was to have ECT’s, several.

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@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

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TMS is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. It’s a device that that is used on your head that throws off an electrical impulse. It is not as effective as ECT. You can read more about this procedure online.

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Thank you. I think I’ll check out that site.

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@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

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Here is some information about transcranial magnetic stimulation from Mayo Clinic http://mayocl.in/1QmRxP3

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@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

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Check again if Medicare will pay most any ins should.and it is FDA approved

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@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

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Not FDA approved for people with Bipolar Disorder.

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@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

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I will and I start tomorrow

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@pirateking

Today was a little better than yesterday. If it is withdrawal how long does it usually last?

Ideally I would want to get benzodiazepines out of my life.

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I take 1mg of Klonopin, and 2 if I need it. It’s for both anxiety and acting out my dreams. For the 2nd reason, my wife doesn’t want me to stop taking it. At one point, I tried very gradually taper off it, but I couldn’t sleep, so I still take it after 8 or 10 years. Only rarely do I need a second one, but when I do, it really helps. I was given Ativan in a post suicide attempt facility, and my heart rate shot up to 180. That was very unpleasant. It’s on my list of allergies.

Liked by jbyrd

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@pirateking Just wondering how you are feeling? I have had anxiety and depression since I was a child. I take Trazodone at bedtime for vivid dreams/ recollections of abuse. I’m also on Cymbalta it helps with anxiety but I take it for Fibromyalgia. When I get panic attacks, I take .25 mg of Klonopin. I hope you are under the care of a psychiatrist and are feeling better.

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To your question about going to the hospital. The answer is yes. If you feel either physical discomforts or suicidal or like you want to hurt someone. Than yes your first priority is to help yourself from doing any harm to yourself or others. The hospital department will get you stable and than you can see your therapist. Also ask them at the hospital about a referral for another psychiatrist that you would feel more comfortable with. This could be hard because some can make you feel that you need them rather than them meeting your needs.

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@sandytoes14

@pirateking Just wondering how you are feeling? I have had anxiety and depression since I was a child. I take Trazodone at bedtime for vivid dreams/ recollections of abuse. I’m also on Cymbalta it helps with anxiety but I take it for Fibromyalgia. When I get panic attacks, I take .25 mg of Klonopin. I hope you are under the care of a psychiatrist and are feeling better.

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When I was put on Cymbalta several years back for depression and Arthritis. I had severe pain in my neck since 1993. Within a month my neck pain was gone and depression improved. Since then my Neurosurgeon took MRI of Cervical Spine and said my spinal cord was closing off. If I didn’t have surgery I would become paralyzed . I had surgery in April and doing fine. Went on a cruise and fell fractured my T12 Vertebrae and was in severe pain for at least 8 days of the cruise . Went to ships dr no Xray taken or pain pills sorry dr. Home for 4 days when I finally told husband I couldn’t stand the pain anymore w my own pain pills. The hospital admitted me put me on morphine for pain until my doctor could operate. My T12 seems fine but lower back is hurting me more. I have spinal stenosis . Dr had CT done on back . When I ask how it turned out he said your back is bad. End of story. I was so shocked I didn’t ask would he bring up on screen and explain. Ask when for me to return he said you don’t need to! What kind of Dr is that!

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@sandytoes14

@pirateking Just wondering how you are feeling? I have had anxiety and depression since I was a child. I take Trazodone at bedtime for vivid dreams/ recollections of abuse. I’m also on Cymbalta it helps with anxiety but I take it for Fibromyalgia. When I get panic attacks, I take .25 mg of Klonopin. I hope you are under the care of a psychiatrist and are feeling better.

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I been in and out of hospitals since I was a child doctors telling my parents that I needed corrective surgery. I missed many days of school and paid for it dearly. Of all the surgeries I had I would say 2 were needed. When I became an adult I took control of my life and would not do surgery or stay with a doctor unless he served my needs and that I was sure he was looking after me, So with street smarts and educating myself on my needs and alternative to meeting my needs I see doctors and if I do not like them or trust them then I continue to look. I have three now that I am confident in and will keep for a while. Remember you are in control and do not let anyone take that away from you be assertive informative educated and open and we will do the right thing eventually

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