My wife suddenly died next to me after 40 WONDERFUL years of marriage

@njed
I have lost two husbands. Both died right before our 25th wedding anniversary,
My first husband died from lung cancer while in our 40s. I eventually remarried and just lost my husband at age 81. He had a cardiac cath and the doctor punctured his LAD. He died the next day. I never got to tell him goodbye or how much I loved him.

I do not think either is easier. It is hard watching someone die slowly or someone dying so suddenly without a chance to say goodbye.

It is 9 months since his death and I am doing better. I live in a senior apartment so have friends and events here.

My thoughts are with you. Eileen

@dennismm You're right, the shock was very traumatic. My wife passed away from a cardiac arrest and the doc who came to the house said she had no idea what happened and it was peaceful. I now realize that a peaceful passing is easy on the person however, it is horrible on the family. No time to prepare and decisions had to be made immediately. The calls to my 3 adult kids at 7AM that day will be something I'll never forget. Healing takes time and, in many cases, years.

@dennismm You're right, the shock was very traumatic. My wife passed away from a cardiac arrest and the doc who came to the house said she had no idea what happened and it was peaceful. I now realize that a peaceful passing is easy on the person however, it is horrible on the family. No time to prepare and decisions had to be made immediately. The calls to my 3 adult kids at 7AM that day will be something I'll never forget. Healing takes time and, in many cases, years.

Thanks so much for your good wishes.
She died Januay24, 2015, 8;15 AM in bed right next to me of an immediately heart attack. She not sick or digging any way, thank goodness!!

Dr said that what happy to me is the witst kind of grief. He said if someone’s is really sick, you know that person might die and you are somewhat mentally prepared, however she was not sick so her dying instantly was a double heartache you can’t be prepared for!

@gemdoc25 You hit the nail on the head.....there is no urgency. As I posted months ago, after 52 years of marriage, my wife passed away unexpectedly at home in her sleep in Feb 2025. There is no hurry to do things that don't feel comfortable. I have her clothes in the closet and I'm taking my time in processing what I do next without pressure from family and friends. As you know, everyone handles grief differently on her/his own timeline. I'm slowly doing better but it all takes time. Wish you the best and be well.

@dennismm
Hi, my wife died November 2024 after 60 years of marriage. She was in hospital, but for me her death was unexpected and I still feel bitter about the way the hospital missed signs of infection and reacted too late. I just can't get out of my mind her saying "hold my hand" and "don't go," the night before she died. She knew the end was near, but it wasn't apparent to my family, and the doctors told us nothing to prepare us.
One of my sons lives close by and spends several nights a week here, but when I'm alone, I talk to here and keep thinking she has just gone away and will be back.
Fortunately at age 85 I can still ride my bike with a group 2-3 times per week and dine out a couple times with friends. I am slowly disposing of some of her cycling clothes, but I will keep some. (We rode a tandem together for years). I dread having to empty her closet of all her clothing, although friends have offered to help. There is no urgency.

@gemdoc25
Please go to March 27, 2025 @shmerdloff.

@dennismm
Hi, my wife died November 2024 after 60 years of marriage. She was in hospital, but for me her death was unexpected and I still feel bitter about the way the hospital missed signs of infection and reacted too late. I just can't get out of my mind her saying "hold my hand" and "don't go," the night before she died. She knew the end was near, but it wasn't apparent to my family, and the doctors told us nothing to prepare us.
One of my sons lives close by and spends several nights a week here, but when I'm alone, I talk to here and keep thinking she has just gone away and will be back.
Fortunately at age 85 I can still ride my bike with a group 2-3 times per week and dine out a couple times with friends. I am slowly disposing of some of her cycling clothes, but I will keep some. (We rode a tandem together for years). I dread having to empty her closet of all her clothing, although friends have offered to help. There is no urgency.