My mom was diagnosed stage 4 on feb 23 and she passed away on march 11
Im having a hard time with her primary care doctor not reading her symptoms and just brushing it off until it was too late. They never actually determined the main cause of the cancer as she was already to ill to perform anymore surgeries to figure it out. They are saying probly pancreatic but i dont belive it. She had an 11 cm tumor on her liver and in several other spots also.
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Hello, @aprilnicole I’m so very sorry for the loss of your mother. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my mom and she’s been gone for 20 years. Cancer doesn’t play fair and robs us of people we love all to often.
Pancreatic cancer is one of the most difficult cancers to diagnosis. Sadly, your mom’s case is actually quite the norm when dealing with this cancer. It’s frequently discovered only when the cancer has already spread to nearby organs such as the liver, lungs or other organs. She most likely did have pancreatic cancer.
Mayo Clinic has a good article on pancreatic cancer and why it’s difficult to diagnose. I’ll post the link here: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pancreatic-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20355421
A dear friend of mine was lost the very same way 2 years ago…within a month of discovery. His doctors were right on top of things and weren’t dismissing his symptoms which came on suddenly. He’d been feeling great up until 2 days prior to his diagnosis. Trying to pin down the cause was very frustrating for both him and his oncologists.
Performing random exploratory surgery isn’t possible in most of these situations because the lesions are too widespread. Chemo can be considered but it would be dependent on the location and type of cancer.
I know this doesn’t make the loss of your dear mom any easier to bear, but I’m hoping this information can help allay your concerns that your mom’s doctor failed her.
Do you have siblings and family to help you cope with this?
It is so hard to lose your mom…sincere condolences.
If you find that you can't get past it, then grief counseling might be a good thing, and you can find it for free in places, too.
My mom passed from a UTI (urinary tract infection), untreated til too late because of extenuating circumstances around the Covid pandemic in 2020. She was 89, though. I was really angry for awhile, but I eventually came to the conclusion that nobody really was to blame. Your circumstances may be different in regards to blame. In any event, time helped me cope, and I hope the same for you.
Blessings to you!
My condolences to you for the loss of your dear mom. I can appreciate your frustration thinking that something further may have been done to save your mother. Just this week I was shocked to learn a friend on Facebook who always kindly commented on my art passed away from pancreatic cancer. It happened suddenly and I never got to say thank you or goodbye to him. It's one of the many difficulties with pancreatic cancer.
My sister at age 54 had pain in her sternum and went to her PC doctor. He never gave her tests but dismissed it as having a pulled muscle from coughing too hard from a cold she had previously. She was in much pain, called him and asked him if she could possibly have cancer. He said if you're so concerned, I'll send you for a second opinion (to one of his cronies) and that doctor also did not tests. All he did was listen and say her PC was correct in his diagnosis. When they finally did tests, a number of months later, she already had Stage IV breast cancer metastasized to her sternum, a good portion of her liver, and was told it was too late. After a year of suffering with chemotherapy/surgeries/sick almost daily, she gave up her spirit and passed on. I was so angry with her doctors for not giving her tests to see why she had pain. I had to give that anger up because it did nothing to bring her back and just was making me ill. I'm sorry she had to spend her last year suffering so much. I had to finally accept it was her time to go and she is at peace now and no longer in pain. I wish you peace.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. It is always hard to lose someone you love. The surprise, & shock of only a couple weeks between diagnosis & her passing complicating your feelings, too.
I agree with Lori, & hope you read that article on pancreatic cancer. I worked as an ultrasonographer for many years, often multiple liver mets were the first sign of pancreatic cancer. It is a horrible, unfair disease. Try not to torture yourself with what if’s. Wishing you peace in your loving memories of your mom.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. I know the shock and horror of having a loved one unexpectedly have incurable cancer. I wish you did not also experience that. It seems like a very common thing that symptoms are vague and/or brushed aside until cancer so very advanced. It has happened with several people that I know. Although I can think of nothing to say that will comfort you, know that you are not alone. I hope that, going forward, you strongly advocate for yourself if you have symptoms so that any problems you have may be found early.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a parent,I know.
The only thing I can say now is be gentle with yourself. I also hope you can find comfort in happy memories.