My husband gave me a Happy Birthday Mom card

@boppi while your post is poignant and your feelings of loss are so valid, as an outsider I found this gesture by your husband to be touching and felt a lot of positives in your message.

I am so sorry that you are feeling this loss. My husband said he can't get out like he used to. He always bought me the most beautiful card's telling me such loving word's. Two year's ago I received three! My Birthday, Anniversary and Valentines card. I also received flowers each time ! They are in Jan./Feb.
Actually I have a BD tomorrow. I have kept every card he has given me. He is not able to go anywhere so I pretty sure it won't be getting one this year . But ..he might surprise me.
I will tell a funny story. One year he forgot my birthday! He sent flowers to my job. I saw the flowers and thought they were someone else's. My coworker's said "Hey these are for you"! The card had a man coming out of the dog house. It was so funny. Made my day. He never forgot again. He always had flower's on my dresser so I would see that and smell them when I woke up. Love a romantic man. He has surprised me for the last 55 years. I married my high school sweetheart. Sorry so long ..but he reminds me that I am loved and important to him. 💜💜

Thank you for your viewpoint. After the initial shock, I am thinking this through to understand how his mind is conveying his thoughts to me and yes, it is heartfelt to understand all the effort this took for him. I think I am looking for others to validate my thoughts but widen my understanding which is what you did😊

In the past I thought something like this would be devastating but in my case I see it as simply the brain aging, just like the skin for example. The person is still the exact same person just a lot older. If the person was a lot younger, say in their 60's or younger, then that would be very difficult. I can see though how it may be very emotional for some people no matter what.

@boppi I have bought a card in the store that had the envelope missing. I liked the card so....yup put it in the paper bag 🙂

Glad I did not offend. I don't like "toxic positivity" and did not want to deny your feelings, which are in a context of loss to begin with. So I am grateful you accepted my post in the spirit intended!

May I extend Happy Birthday wishes to you, even a day late. I'm so sorry your husband was not able to honor your birthday in the way he used to. He did what he could to honor you on your day. His life is changing faster than yours, and it must be very difficult to see your companion of so many years changing. I wish you peace and equanimity as you go through these difficult days.

Unfortunately, we're on a long road, and the losses will keep coming. I handle each one by telling myself to find the loving part and to preserve and honor that memory. Because, someday, that too may disappear. It took me a long time to come to this realization and to believe it. But, it does actually help.

Greetings: I am angry about the emotional loss of my husband (lost from the way he used to be). I am in the angry stage of grieving this loss and don't handle it very well. I have accepted the reality but am not happy about it.
I journal and talk to friends and family, keep doing things I enjoy, try to do things we both enjoy, and still I am angry.
To answer your question how are you handling this? Not well! At least I have this blog for ideas and virtual support.

I find I have a tendency to panic when something newly worse in his condition occurs, I cry and think it through from all angles and the panic lessens to acceptance and determination to grab as much of him that is still there and enjoy it while I have him. That seems to give me the ability to keep going.

I think your husband’s card choice was really sweet. Also, if you two had children, did he call you Mom or Mother in the house? He may be going back to that, or maybe he did just like the colors and the sentiment inside.
My dad always made a big deal of my mom’s birthdays, their anniversaries, Mother’s Day and Christmas, he would shop himself and always bought carefully chosen gifts. Much to my surprise, I quickly learned the guy I married didn’t see this as something to do. I’m grateful my brother did, he makes his wife very happy with his thoughtfulness on every occasion, which makes me happy, she’s a very special person.
Funny, not funny- my brother and I were born on the same day, three years apart. We were driving to my mom’s facility to meet he and my SIL to celebrate our birthday with her. Hubby said, “Why are we going to your Mom’s?” I replied,”To celebrate Bob’s birthday”. Silence……