My aging husband is new territory for me. I need resources.

Posted by lesleys56 @lesleys56, 15 hours ago

My husband and I have been married for almost 25 years. He is 84, I am 70. He is becoming forgetful and, naturally, tired. This is all new to me and I want to do the very best for him as he has done for me through the years.
I've looked online and all I can find is information for Alzheimer's and Dementia. But he doesn't have any of that.
Where can I get some good information on aging, the process and what I can do for him.
Thank you.

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njx58 | @njx58 | 14 hours ago

A support group can be really helpful. Here is one:
https://wellspouse.org/

gravity3 | @gravity3 | 14 hours ago

Caregiveraction.org
Contact your county area on aging
Contact your local senior center

Those are three that I think of immediately.

lesleys56 | @lesleys56 | 13 hours ago

In reply to @njx58 "A support group can be really helpful. Here is one: https://wellspouse.org/" + (show)

@njx58 thank you so much.

lesleys56 | @lesleys56 | 13 hours ago

In reply to @gravity3 "Caregiveraction.org Contact your county area on aging Contact your local senior center Those are three that..." + (show)

@gravity3 I appreciate that. Thank you.

Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | 13 hours ago

Does your husband have a good PCP? My husband, who is 73 (Im 72), uses a Geriatrician—a PCP practice that specializes in older adults. One good thing they can help with is differentiating between symptoms caused purely by aging and those caused by specific medical problems. I’m sure you’ll get some useful answers here, but I’m guessing you are already a great observer of and companion to your husband. Have the two of you talked specifically about what he needs from you, and what you need from him? I guess my main suggestion is that despite aging and illness it can be a great perk-up to do even simple things together and enjoy each others’ company.

gently | @gently | 12 hours ago

leslie56, Miriam suggest Internal Medicine--they all have the Geriatrics title now by simple designation. But rather than focus on aging, thorough attention to his physical condition could be helpful. Physicians are reluctant to order complete iron panels, but you might insist. Testosterone levels might benefit from a boost, but really CBC, MET, B vitamin status could all be revealing of a fairly simple resolution to tiredness and memory. I love that you are doing the best for him as he has for you all these years.

edsutton | @edsutton | 12 hours ago

You have a lot to learn, but you'll be developing knowledge that will help your husband and you.
Even small progress can be very helpful and encouraging.
There are many topics in Mayo Connect that can help.
You might consider hiring a professional aging life care counselor so you're not doing this alone.

Let us know how it's going for you. We've got lots of suggestions!

lesleys56 | @lesleys56 | 12 hours ago

In reply to @mir123 "Does your husband have a good PCP? My husband, who is 73 (Im 72), uses a..." + (show)

@mir123 thank you for that heartfelt answer. We do enoy doing things together. Most of the time he's pretty sharp. But he's going through a TAR-200 cancer study. At first it was very difficult, twice to the ER and after that I noticed a little confusion, forgetting things. I'm sure from stress. So I want to get a grip before it's too late. He does have a pcp through the VA, but at this point he will not go discuss it with him. I think I'm getting close to the time that we can have the discussion but timing is everything with him. He is, after all, a salty ol' Marine.