Mom doesn’t quite qualify for hospice, and is due for a new pacemaker

Maybe I should make my question more simple…should we forego a new pacemaker for mom who is at stage 6e Alzheimer’s? She is 85. She has said in recent past comfort care only.

I would respect your mother's wishes for comfort care only and know if she could express herself that she would be grateful.

Comfort vs. unpleasant procedure that will likely have little or no effect? I know I'd want comfort myself. Don't feel guilty if you decide to honor your mother.

I’ll bet it is due to your excellent care that your mother has lived such a long life with Alzheimer’s. I am surprised her doctors would even offer such a surgery for someone in her condition at her age. If the decision were up to me, I would honor her wishes, offer palliative care, and wait for hospice.

Very helpful confirmation. Thank you, all. 💓

I agree with the comments made. Don't forget that you have been there for her. She is blessed to having you. Do what feels right to you. Doesn't that procedure require sedation? Hugs to you both

I feel strongly that honoring your mother's wishes supersedes pacemaker replacement. I also presume replacing the pacemaker at that time is just based on predicted longevity and does not necessarily mean it is failing (it could have months or more useful life left). I cannot imagine any of us (in our right mind) would choose to prolong advanced dementia. I would not replace it for my family member who wants comfort over longevity.

Our mom was 95 and in pretty good shape. It looked like dementia, but her brain just wasn't getting enough oxygen. We ok'd a TAVER ($300,000) and she was ok. Just bouts of anxiety and concern. She had to go into care ($5000 a month), with 24/7 assistance ($600 a week with some Long Term Insurance to defray the cost-tooth and nail to get them to pay) for the year she was failing (two falls, broken bones, hospitals).
All of us had some good times together, but she suffered a lot.
She passed, but not before holding and enjoying her great granddaughter for a few months..

It’s amazing how quickly she is failing. Since her 6e diagnosis a week ago, she is barely walking and speaking. She will not be getting a new pacemaker. It sure is hard to see the progression of this disease. May the Lord give us all the strength we need.

Thanks for sharing 💓