Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself

Welcome to the Caregivers group on Mayo Clinic Connect.
Caring for someone can be rewarding, but it is also very demanding and can be isolating. Let’s use this space to connect with other caregivers, share experiences, talk frankly about the tough stuff without judgement and to provide a virtual shoulder to lean on.

I’m Colleen, and I’m the moderator of this group, and Community Director of Connect. I look forwarding to welcoming you and introducing you to other members. Feel free to browse the topics or start a new one.

Grab a cup of tea, or beverage of you choice, and let’s chat. Why not start by introducing yourself?

@colleenyoung

Hi @19lin @aasthapuri @adri @bbams @besrus5 @bina @burrkay @charlena @chesneydell1965 @clayton48 @coladyrev @dawn_giacabazi @dawn0202 @eaglesview @IndianaScott @jeannie2 @jennyjones38 @jhammer @js119 @lindagee @lisa_sj9 @saltyfrog @shellsk24 @soul @sylviapf @tavi @ters1993
I’d like to invite you to the new Caregivers group. It’s a space where we can share the ups and downs of caregiving, honestly and openly without judgement. Whether you’re caring for someone with dementia, cancer, heart problems or whatever, please join us. Pull up a chair and tell us a bit about yourself.

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Hello to all, My husband July 1st woke up and could not walk 10 steps before he sat down sweating very pale and a yellow tint to his skin, plus he could not breath.. I immediately rushed him to the nearest ER I could think of.
They immediately hooked him up to oxygen, IV fluids and called an ambulance to move him to the best hospital in our area.

He stayed in ICU 11 days..his heart was completly surrounded by fluid in which a drain was placed into the heart sack an came out of his chest into a colostomy bag….the fluid was pretty much all blood red.
It took about 3 days to drain his heart sack they said had I not brought him in when i did his heart would have stopped beating from the pressure of the fluid.
After the surgery a Cardio Dr came in and said point blank see that fluid…. its cancer. see this monitor look at the mass on his lung its cancer. Needless to say we where both in Shock as my husband is a non stop gardner, cook and enjoying his retirement at age 72. Stays busy always.

After 10 days in ICU , 4 days in a floor down in a private room he was going to come home and he was so happy as he had never been in the hospital before.

I brought him home and his Oncoligist appt was 12 days later…seemed to far away for me. I was uncomfortable and scared to bring him home.
1 and a half days later same scenario as the July 1st. back to ER at hospital…his lungs where almost filled with fluid..they immediately put him an antibiotic IV and drained one lung…yay he can breath we where happy. 2 days later they drained the second lung 2 liters of fluid….the first lung had a bit more.
He stayed another night till they could MRI his brain to ensure the cancer had not spread..he started the test made the tech stop after 25 min and she took him back to his room. The next day he said I'm ready to go home I said wonderful ….until the nurse informed me he had not completed the MRI…and had to have it done…I said may I take him to a place in the am close to home, sure we got him released and his now home. The next morning at 8 I got him as weak as he was and out of breath to have the MRI.
This Monday is the long awaited Oncologist appt. He will be given his options.

All that said I noticed after his 10lb weight loss in 6 days and constant coughing up so much mucus, blood I literally threw up…not a very good nurse but I did what any caregiver would do and cleaned up for my husband..
He seemed very confused when I got him up from a 4 hr. nap and he was saying things about people visiting him and just scared me really bad I just assured him no one was here and if they where they have left…he said good I dont want company. Again the next morning more hallucinations and almost as if he developed dementia
overnight..I feel so alone and lost. I just want to get him to the Drs on Monday and start treatment yesterday, I'm just a mess.

Please tell me it gets a little better I need to hear positive news from others as you who have been in my situation…I just want to rest and not worry about his severe sleep apnea new diagnosis by the way and make sure to check his oxygen every few hours and BP..all has been good.
I pray he will be himself again one day but until then I will take the best of care as I Love him even after 46 yrs of marriage…any advise would help.
Thank you for listening I hope to hear from someone who has been in my shoes .

With Warmest Regatds,
Yvonne a loving wife❤😭

REPLY
@ytmorgan1

Hello to all, My husband July 1st woke up and could not walk 10 steps before he sat down sweating very pale and a yellow tint to his skin, plus he could not breath.. I immediately rushed him to the nearest ER I could think of.
They immediately hooked him up to oxygen, IV fluids and called an ambulance to move him to the best hospital in our area.

He stayed in ICU 11 days..his heart was completly surrounded by fluid in which a drain was placed into the heart sack an came out of his chest into a colostomy bag….the fluid was pretty much all blood red.
It took about 3 days to drain his heart sack they said had I not brought him in when i did his heart would have stopped beating from the pressure of the fluid.
After the surgery a Cardio Dr came in and said point blank see that fluid…. its cancer. see this monitor look at the mass on his lung its cancer. Needless to say we where both in Shock as my husband is a non stop gardner, cook and enjoying his retirement at age 72. Stays busy always.

After 10 days in ICU , 4 days in a floor down in a private room he was going to come home and he was so happy as he had never been in the hospital before.

I brought him home and his Oncoligist appt was 12 days later…seemed to far away for me. I was uncomfortable and scared to bring him home.
1 and a half days later same scenario as the July 1st. back to ER at hospital…his lungs where almost filled with fluid..they immediately put him an antibiotic IV and drained one lung…yay he can breath we where happy. 2 days later they drained the second lung 2 liters of fluid….the first lung had a bit more.
He stayed another night till they could MRI his brain to ensure the cancer had not spread..he started the test made the tech stop after 25 min and she took him back to his room. The next day he said I'm ready to go home I said wonderful ….until the nurse informed me he had not completed the MRI…and had to have it done…I said may I take him to a place in the am close to home, sure we got him released and his now home. The next morning at 8 I got him as weak as he was and out of breath to have the MRI.
This Monday is the long awaited Oncologist appt. He will be given his options.

All that said I noticed after his 10lb weight loss in 6 days and constant coughing up so much mucus, blood I literally threw up…not a very good nurse but I did what any caregiver would do and cleaned up for my husband..
He seemed very confused when I got him up from a 4 hr. nap and he was saying things about people visiting him and just scared me really bad I just assured him no one was here and if they where they have left…he said good I dont want company. Again the next morning more hallucinations and almost as if he developed dementia
overnight..I feel so alone and lost. I just want to get him to the Drs on Monday and start treatment yesterday, I'm just a mess.

Please tell me it gets a little better I need to hear positive news from others as you who have been in my situation…I just want to rest and not worry about his severe sleep apnea new diagnosis by the way and make sure to check his oxygen every few hours and BP..all has been good.
I pray he will be himself again one day but until then I will take the best of care as I Love him even after 46 yrs of marriage…any advise would help.
Thank you for listening I hope to hear from someone who has been in my shoes .

With Warmest Regatds,
Yvonne a loving wife❤😭

Jump to this post

Hello @ytmorgan1 I am so sorry to read of your husband's scary healthcare journey right now. I am Scott and I am glad you found Connect and are here to share and participate in this group. This is a great community of folks who are very caring! Caregiving is a very scary time in life and one we are suddenly thrust into with no warning and no training! I am sorry you are having to go through this.

My wife's case was a bit different, but just as sudden with a brain tumor and extensive complications post-operative. We were married for 41 years and while caregiving my love for her only grew, even though she was different after her diagnosis.

As a caregiver I also know the waiting times are often the toughest! They were tough on my wife and tough on me. All the wondering and wishing just to have some word as to what the situation was. I will be thinking of you both from now to Monday!

I know each and every person and each and every cancer is different, but keep hoping for the best! My wife awoke from a coma and had to relearn how to eat, swallow, write, walk, and talk. It took her over a year and a half, but she did it! The doctors said she might live 7 years and she lived over 14! She was a fighter as it sounds like your husband is, too! Plus they have new treatments that were not even imagined back when my wife first got ill. Medical science is moving at a rapid pace in many areas and new options are always apprearing on the horizon!

I hope you are doing OK this morning and that at least the sun is shining wherever you are.

How are you managing today?

Strength, courage, and peace!

REPLY
@ytmorgan1

Hello to all, My husband July 1st woke up and could not walk 10 steps before he sat down sweating very pale and a yellow tint to his skin, plus he could not breath.. I immediately rushed him to the nearest ER I could think of.
They immediately hooked him up to oxygen, IV fluids and called an ambulance to move him to the best hospital in our area.

He stayed in ICU 11 days..his heart was completly surrounded by fluid in which a drain was placed into the heart sack an came out of his chest into a colostomy bag….the fluid was pretty much all blood red.
It took about 3 days to drain his heart sack they said had I not brought him in when i did his heart would have stopped beating from the pressure of the fluid.
After the surgery a Cardio Dr came in and said point blank see that fluid…. its cancer. see this monitor look at the mass on his lung its cancer. Needless to say we where both in Shock as my husband is a non stop gardner, cook and enjoying his retirement at age 72. Stays busy always.

After 10 days in ICU , 4 days in a floor down in a private room he was going to come home and he was so happy as he had never been in the hospital before.

I brought him home and his Oncoligist appt was 12 days later…seemed to far away for me. I was uncomfortable and scared to bring him home.
1 and a half days later same scenario as the July 1st. back to ER at hospital…his lungs where almost filled with fluid..they immediately put him an antibiotic IV and drained one lung…yay he can breath we where happy. 2 days later they drained the second lung 2 liters of fluid….the first lung had a bit more.
He stayed another night till they could MRI his brain to ensure the cancer had not spread..he started the test made the tech stop after 25 min and she took him back to his room. The next day he said I'm ready to go home I said wonderful ….until the nurse informed me he had not completed the MRI…and had to have it done…I said may I take him to a place in the am close to home, sure we got him released and his now home. The next morning at 8 I got him as weak as he was and out of breath to have the MRI.
This Monday is the long awaited Oncologist appt. He will be given his options.

All that said I noticed after his 10lb weight loss in 6 days and constant coughing up so much mucus, blood I literally threw up…not a very good nurse but I did what any caregiver would do and cleaned up for my husband..
He seemed very confused when I got him up from a 4 hr. nap and he was saying things about people visiting him and just scared me really bad I just assured him no one was here and if they where they have left…he said good I dont want company. Again the next morning more hallucinations and almost as if he developed dementia
overnight..I feel so alone and lost. I just want to get him to the Drs on Monday and start treatment yesterday, I'm just a mess.

Please tell me it gets a little better I need to hear positive news from others as you who have been in my situation…I just want to rest and not worry about his severe sleep apnea new diagnosis by the way and make sure to check his oxygen every few hours and BP..all has been good.
I pray he will be himself again one day but until then I will take the best of care as I Love him even after 46 yrs of marriage…any advise would help.
Thank you for listening I hope to hear from someone who has been in my shoes .

With Warmest Regatds,
Yvonne a loving wife❤😭

Jump to this post

Thinking of you and wishing you strength and calm to get through this. It must all feel surreal. Hoping that each day gets a little better.❤️

REPLY
@IndianaScott

Hello @ytmorgan1 I am so sorry to read of your husband's scary healthcare journey right now. I am Scott and I am glad you found Connect and are here to share and participate in this group. This is a great community of folks who are very caring! Caregiving is a very scary time in life and one we are suddenly thrust into with no warning and no training! I am sorry you are having to go through this.

My wife's case was a bit different, but just as sudden with a brain tumor and extensive complications post-operative. We were married for 41 years and while caregiving my love for her only grew, even though she was different after her diagnosis.

As a caregiver I also know the waiting times are often the toughest! They were tough on my wife and tough on me. All the wondering and wishing just to have some word as to what the situation was. I will be thinking of you both from now to Monday!

I know each and every person and each and every cancer is different, but keep hoping for the best! My wife awoke from a coma and had to relearn how to eat, swallow, write, walk, and talk. It took her over a year and a half, but she did it! The doctors said she might live 7 years and she lived over 14! She was a fighter as it sounds like your husband is, too! Plus they have new treatments that were not even imagined back when my wife first got ill. Medical science is moving at a rapid pace in many areas and new options are always apprearing on the horizon!

I hope you are doing OK this morning and that at least the sun is shining wherever you are.

How are you managing today?

Strength, courage, and peace!

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I'm sitting on the back porch reading you beautiful letter of encouragment.
I pray that tomorrow's visit to the Oncoligists office is as promising as your words. I'm so sorry for your loss but am so happy to hear your wife lived for 14 more blessed years.
I'm down hes down just holding him as he has stopped speaking I fear he has lost some part of his very educated and intellegent self that he cant find words its horrible to watch.
I'm praying tomorrow will give him a new perspective on fighting harder.
Peace be with you & God Bless you.
Best Regards
Yvonne

REPLY

Hello ytmorgan1, my heart is breaking and praying for you both. You as a wonderful wife, a great care giver and a lover to your husband. I pray hope, lights and a lot of blessings to your loving husband. Please follow up with the procedure as per your doctor’s direction. I believe in your action that you have done the best of your knowledge. You have to believe in the power of love, intention and prayer. Please be strong for your husband . Never give up hope. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Love and lights, Soul

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@colleenyoung

Hi @19lin @aasthapuri @adri @bbams @besrus5 @bina @burrkay @charlena @chesneydell1965 @clayton48 @coladyrev @dawn_giacabazi @dawn0202 @eaglesview @IndianaScott @jeannie2 @jennyjones38 @jhammer @js119 @lindagee @lisa_sj9 @saltyfrog @shellsk24 @soul @sylviapf @tavi @ters1993
I’d like to invite you to the new Caregivers group. It’s a space where we can share the ups and downs of caregiving, honestly and openly without judgement. Whether you’re caring for someone with dementia, cancer, heart problems or whatever, please join us. Pull up a chair and tell us a bit about yourself.

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I'm getting at least a dozen of these emails a day, and need to unsubscribe as they're overloading my inbox. I really appreciate the support and caring fellow caregivers, but need to unsubscribe for now. Bless you. Pat

REPLY
@leeandpat

I'm getting at least a dozen of these emails a day, and need to unsubscribe as they're overloading my inbox. I really appreciate the support and caring fellow caregivers, but need to unsubscribe for now. Bless you. Pat

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@leeandpat Pat, you days are filled with so much to do. If you go to your profile, you can customize how you want notifications. Either by daily digest, individual emails, etc. Or choose not at all. Hope you have a great day,
Ginger

REPLY
@ytmorgan1

Hello to all, My husband July 1st woke up and could not walk 10 steps before he sat down sweating very pale and a yellow tint to his skin, plus he could not breath.. I immediately rushed him to the nearest ER I could think of.
They immediately hooked him up to oxygen, IV fluids and called an ambulance to move him to the best hospital in our area.

He stayed in ICU 11 days..his heart was completly surrounded by fluid in which a drain was placed into the heart sack an came out of his chest into a colostomy bag….the fluid was pretty much all blood red.
It took about 3 days to drain his heart sack they said had I not brought him in when i did his heart would have stopped beating from the pressure of the fluid.
After the surgery a Cardio Dr came in and said point blank see that fluid…. its cancer. see this monitor look at the mass on his lung its cancer. Needless to say we where both in Shock as my husband is a non stop gardner, cook and enjoying his retirement at age 72. Stays busy always.

After 10 days in ICU , 4 days in a floor down in a private room he was going to come home and he was so happy as he had never been in the hospital before.

I brought him home and his Oncoligist appt was 12 days later…seemed to far away for me. I was uncomfortable and scared to bring him home.
1 and a half days later same scenario as the July 1st. back to ER at hospital…his lungs where almost filled with fluid..they immediately put him an antibiotic IV and drained one lung…yay he can breath we where happy. 2 days later they drained the second lung 2 liters of fluid….the first lung had a bit more.
He stayed another night till they could MRI his brain to ensure the cancer had not spread..he started the test made the tech stop after 25 min and she took him back to his room. The next day he said I'm ready to go home I said wonderful ….until the nurse informed me he had not completed the MRI…and had to have it done…I said may I take him to a place in the am close to home, sure we got him released and his now home. The next morning at 8 I got him as weak as he was and out of breath to have the MRI.
This Monday is the long awaited Oncologist appt. He will be given his options.

All that said I noticed after his 10lb weight loss in 6 days and constant coughing up so much mucus, blood I literally threw up…not a very good nurse but I did what any caregiver would do and cleaned up for my husband..
He seemed very confused when I got him up from a 4 hr. nap and he was saying things about people visiting him and just scared me really bad I just assured him no one was here and if they where they have left…he said good I dont want company. Again the next morning more hallucinations and almost as if he developed dementia
overnight..I feel so alone and lost. I just want to get him to the Drs on Monday and start treatment yesterday, I'm just a mess.

Please tell me it gets a little better I need to hear positive news from others as you who have been in my situation…I just want to rest and not worry about his severe sleep apnea new diagnosis by the way and make sure to check his oxygen every few hours and BP..all has been good.
I pray he will be himself again one day but until then I will take the best of care as I Love him even after 46 yrs of marriage…any advise would help.
Thank you for listening I hope to hear from someone who has been in my shoes .

With Warmest Regatds,
Yvonne a loving wife❤😭

Jump to this post

@ytmorgan1 I am so sorry that you are going them all of this. Your husband is so lucky that you are there to watch over him. I, too, had some very scary episodes. I had some brain lesions last year and don’t remember being taken to the ER and then put in the hospital. As a nurse, I know that these sudden changes can be totally disorienting. Your husband has had many sudden changes: ER trips, time in ICU, reduced oxygen intake, constant people, mixed up days and nights. All of this causes confusion, but, hopefully, it will pass.
Whatever comes, I already know that you’re a very strong woman. That you, Yvonne, a loving wife, will do everything you can. And that he will always know that you’re there.
Please let us know how the oncology visit goes. If you have a smart phone, you can even tape what the doctor says. Peace, Becky

REPLY

I am Patsy. My husband, an aerospace engineer, is the smartest man I know, but Mild Cognitive Impairment has robbed him of all those engineering skills. He is still physically able, a sweet, kind husband, likes to be socially active but cannot remember what happened 30 seconds ago. Unable to reason, he gets frustrated and so do I! It can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. But when I say, “Lord, I cant do this!” He says, “No, but I can.”

REPLY
@pattyinal

I am Patsy. My husband, an aerospace engineer, is the smartest man I know, but Mild Cognitive Impairment has robbed him of all those engineering skills. He is still physically able, a sweet, kind husband, likes to be socially active but cannot remember what happened 30 seconds ago. Unable to reason, he gets frustrated and so do I! It can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. But when I say, “Lord, I cant do this!” He says, “No, but I can.”

Jump to this post

Hello and good morning @pattyinal I am sorry to read of your husband's challenges with MCI, but am glad you have joined in the conversations here at Mayo Connect.

Caregiving is one of the most challenging jobs in the whole world I think! You are right that it often takes us to our limits physically, mentally, and emotionally. Plus there is an unfortunately unique challenge of having to rise to the occasion each day while watching our loved one fight their battle yet another day. One of the things I always reminded myself of was 'Superman and Wonder Woman only exist in the comics. There are no superheroes in caregiving.' Each of us can only do what it is we can do on any given day.

It is nice to read that your husband continues to enjoy social interactions, otherwise caregiving can certainly be incredibly isolating.

How long have you been caregiving?

Wishing you continued strength, courage, and peace!

REPLY
@pattyinal

I am Patsy. My husband, an aerospace engineer, is the smartest man I know, but Mild Cognitive Impairment has robbed him of all those engineering skills. He is still physically able, a sweet, kind husband, likes to be socially active but cannot remember what happened 30 seconds ago. Unable to reason, he gets frustrated and so do I! It can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. But when I say, “Lord, I cant do this!” He says, “No, but I can.”

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Hi @pattyinal, I add my welcome. I want to introduce you to @debbraw and @annavard. Their husbands also have MCI. Like you, they know exactly the frustrations that changing cognitive abilities bring for both of you.

Patsy, when did you start to notice the changes in your husband?

REPLY
@ytmorgan1

Hello to all, My husband July 1st woke up and could not walk 10 steps before he sat down sweating very pale and a yellow tint to his skin, plus he could not breath.. I immediately rushed him to the nearest ER I could think of.
They immediately hooked him up to oxygen, IV fluids and called an ambulance to move him to the best hospital in our area.

He stayed in ICU 11 days..his heart was completly surrounded by fluid in which a drain was placed into the heart sack an came out of his chest into a colostomy bag….the fluid was pretty much all blood red.
It took about 3 days to drain his heart sack they said had I not brought him in when i did his heart would have stopped beating from the pressure of the fluid.
After the surgery a Cardio Dr came in and said point blank see that fluid…. its cancer. see this monitor look at the mass on his lung its cancer. Needless to say we where both in Shock as my husband is a non stop gardner, cook and enjoying his retirement at age 72. Stays busy always.

After 10 days in ICU , 4 days in a floor down in a private room he was going to come home and he was so happy as he had never been in the hospital before.

I brought him home and his Oncoligist appt was 12 days later…seemed to far away for me. I was uncomfortable and scared to bring him home.
1 and a half days later same scenario as the July 1st. back to ER at hospital…his lungs where almost filled with fluid..they immediately put him an antibiotic IV and drained one lung…yay he can breath we where happy. 2 days later they drained the second lung 2 liters of fluid….the first lung had a bit more.
He stayed another night till they could MRI his brain to ensure the cancer had not spread..he started the test made the tech stop after 25 min and she took him back to his room. The next day he said I'm ready to go home I said wonderful ….until the nurse informed me he had not completed the MRI…and had to have it done…I said may I take him to a place in the am close to home, sure we got him released and his now home. The next morning at 8 I got him as weak as he was and out of breath to have the MRI.
This Monday is the long awaited Oncologist appt. He will be given his options.

All that said I noticed after his 10lb weight loss in 6 days and constant coughing up so much mucus, blood I literally threw up…not a very good nurse but I did what any caregiver would do and cleaned up for my husband..
He seemed very confused when I got him up from a 4 hr. nap and he was saying things about people visiting him and just scared me really bad I just assured him no one was here and if they where they have left…he said good I dont want company. Again the next morning more hallucinations and almost as if he developed dementia
overnight..I feel so alone and lost. I just want to get him to the Drs on Monday and start treatment yesterday, I'm just a mess.

Please tell me it gets a little better I need to hear positive news from others as you who have been in my situation…I just want to rest and not worry about his severe sleep apnea new diagnosis by the way and make sure to check his oxygen every few hours and BP..all has been good.
I pray he will be himself again one day but until then I will take the best of care as I Love him even after 46 yrs of marriage…any advise would help.
Thank you for listening I hope to hear from someone who has been in my shoes .

With Warmest Regatds,
Yvonne a loving wife❤😭

Jump to this post

Yvonne, I have not been through such difficulties with my husband's health.
I am so sorry that you have to face such a heart wrenching time.
My brother, who is 66 years old, extremely sick, a most beautiful, kind man, has been so ill for about 14 years.
As I write this, I am waiting for bad news as he is in intensive care and not doing well. I know the pain of seeing a loved one so ill. Different circumstances, different kind of pain but it helps me to understand your journey, your need of support and prayers. Have you any support close to you… family? neighbors? Please keep us updated.
Ann

REPLY
@pattyinal

I am Patsy. My husband, an aerospace engineer, is the smartest man I know, but Mild Cognitive Impairment has robbed him of all those engineering skills. He is still physically able, a sweet, kind husband, likes to be socially active but cannot remember what happened 30 seconds ago. Unable to reason, he gets frustrated and so do I! It can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. But when I say, “Lord, I cant do this!” He says, “No, but I can.”

Jump to this post

Hi @pattyinal – I am so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. I know that when my husband was diagnosed in 2015 it was heart wrenching. Can you share when your husband was diagnosed? Mayo Clinic is one of the few places in the US that has a program to help MCI patients and their partners. Here is a link:

Do you know of it?

REPLY
@IndianaScott

Hello and good morning @pattyinal I am sorry to read of your husband's challenges with MCI, but am glad you have joined in the conversations here at Mayo Connect.

Caregiving is one of the most challenging jobs in the whole world I think! You are right that it often takes us to our limits physically, mentally, and emotionally. Plus there is an unfortunately unique challenge of having to rise to the occasion each day while watching our loved one fight their battle yet another day. One of the things I always reminded myself of was 'Superman and Wonder Woman only exist in the comics. There are no superheroes in caregiving.' Each of us can only do what it is we can do on any given day.

It is nice to read that your husband continues to enjoy social interactions, otherwise caregiving can certainly be incredibly isolating.

How long have you been caregiving?

Wishing you continued strength, courage, and peace!

Jump to this post

We first noticed mild memory loss, missing appointments, meetings etc.? in 2006. At that time he was also diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. He took early retirement in 2007. Neurologist agreed with us that years of oxygen deprivation could possibly have been the initial source of his dementia issues. Since that time, he uses a CPAP every day, but the cognitive decline has continued gradually, until the last couple of years when the memory loss has become more severe. Now, he cannot tell time, cannot do any of the handyman jobs he used to do, struggles to find the word for objects, cannot remember that he already ate, or has not had a bath or brushed his teeth. He does still dress himself, but would wear the same clothes every day, if I didn’t remove them from his closet. He knows that he cannot remember, and usually asks me for answers, but then is often sure I’m mistaken. He knows he is dependent on me, yet is very protective of me and hardly wants me out of his sight. Probably more than you wanted to know, but so far, we make a pretty good team and I certainly know that our difficulties don’t even compare to those of so many others.

REPLY

Hi @pattyinal – It sounds as if you have been dealing with this for a long time. My heart goes out to you. Just wanted to pass along something I learned recently that may or may not help. Our local hospice will provide help with anyone diagnosed with dementia – it does not mean they are at the end of life. They do it because dementia is progressive – and their services are free. Also, our local Council on Aging (COA) has been a tremendous resource for me in terms of caregiver support. Do you have hospice and/or COA in your area?

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