Loss: What Do You Do When There is No Closure?

Posted by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor @hopeful33250, Jun 18, 2019

I recently experienced the loss of a very fine friend. We were more than friends, but kindred spirits. You see, we both shared a very rare form of cancer and she was going through some very difficult treatments. One day after her last treatment I texted her to find out how she was doing. Her spouse called me back to say that she had died and the funeral service had already occurred. I felt at a loss. My grief was compounded in that I did not have an opportunity to gather with her other friends and family members at a service to share with them.

As I was dealing with this loss and my sense of not experiencing closure I thought that many of you might have experienced something similar. Perhaps it was a loss due to a sudden, unexpected death because of an accident, crime or suicide.

I would be interested in knowing how you handled your grief. I welcome any suggestions that you can offer. Will you share with me?

Hi Again, happy to hear from you! We all look back thinking, should have, what if and more. We have to try not to do that. Not easy at all!! Right now you have so much pain to deal with. As we know, can't do this alone. I took the same drug as Kristin. I hope you can find answers about the medication and why? My God how I feel your hurt, Your Child! I'm so sensitive I can't help it. You have the rt. to feel all of those emotions!!!

May I suggest you go to a support group. Your husband will probably ask questions and than join you? Are you in touch with your family? I know it's not the same like being at a kitchen table, coffee, being held, kissed, sharing.

If you do join a group you may meet people there that can turn into a friendship, you never know. Do what you think is best for you. From what I read, your daughter would like that. Not an easy step but it works.

I don't belong to Facebook, I'm sorry. From what you shared you raised a beautiful child. There is a support group Mayo Connect. I'm kinda isolated due to my medical condition and It has helped me so much. Meeting wonderful caring members. Hope I hear from you again. I'm sorry it took so long to reply. Too many Dr's, blood wk. ETC. I hope you can relax this evening. Good Night

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