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Teresa, Volunteer Mentor (@hopeful33250)

Loss: What Do You Do When There is No Closure?

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Aug 17, 2019 | Replies (16)

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Hello, No Closure. I know and absolutely understand told being told that someone you loved is gone. It hurts and the what if's? I should have? Why wasn't I told? No has that right to take away that moment We had a right to share and say, So Long! My husbands first cousin died, his daughter died a few months earlier. We received a call MUCH LATER from his son he that he had passed away. I went into hysterics. Did not have the presents of mind to let him know exactly how I felt! He lived in a different state I would call him. We had such memorable conversations. Let me know that my husband was always like as he is now. He had Leukemia, Diabetes and he suffered for a long time. His daughter had severe medical issues. No I will never have closure until I write that letter to his wife and children.

I will never have closure with my daughter and my brothers wife, her adult children.

Hello Kathi, I can't find the words to say how deeply I feel for your loss. Hope you have a lot of support at this time.

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Replies to "Hello, No Closure. I know and absolutely understand told being told that someone you loved is..."

You have had quite a bit if loss and deep sadness. If we could only share the sadness and emptiness. I pray you find closure and soon are strong enough to write that letter.
Talk of support for me, for us….we live 600 miles from our home town, where Kirstin lived and Chad live. Most of our family are inOhio, Az and Mi. Few friends here. We love where we live but many people are not friendly. Other than two couples here we really dont have anyone close. Yes, it is hard. I know of two support groups nearby. My husband wouldnt mind going but he said he didnt want to hear others sad stories because itd make him sad and hes aching enough. I try to get through the day but I think of Kirstin almost constantly. Things remind me of her. God, she was incredible; so loving, sweet, big, warm heart, giving…..I can go on. She truly was ‘one of a kind’.
Being an only child her and I were very close. Right now, Id gladly change places with her. We didnt see each other near often enough…..beginning of June ( girls week, I stayed 10 days), Easter Break, (week)Thanksgiving and Christmas. (Both a week). She always wanted me to fly down more often, but my husband is….I dont know, he’d prefer I stayed home. A bit controlling maybe. That made her angry with him. I guess we all have regrets.
I was with her the evening before the morning she passed.
This is a nightmare. Im so in denial, angry, lost, pissed off, lonely and in pain, emotionally.
Dont know what to do; probably should go to the support group. Is there one online from Mayo? Id like on online!
Thank you do much.
Theres a ton of posts, etc on Facebook under her name (Kirstin Fodor Wallace). I think its still on there. Or
mine. (Kathi Jacobs Fodor).
She was a teacher and an amazing one. Oh the greatness she accomplished. Unreal! She so loved her kiddios. And….more.
Sorry for going on.