Looking for items in kitchen cupboards

@skjm3
Personally, I wouldn't confront him with memory issues.
I have epilepsy and have a horrible memory. I also open multiple cupboards but half the time I think I want something to snack on but not sure what so I look everywhere. Sometimes it may be from memory issues other times I just want to see what I have.
I also have aphasia and when I forget a word or phrase I don't like people asking about
forgotten words or memories.
It makes me feel bad. Some people say that doesn't make sense, I know it doesn't make sense and I do my best to correct what I said, and it certainly doesn't help to have someone jump down my throat, reminding me that I have issues with memory recall. I know how I sound when I can't remember something. The last thing I need is being criticized for having a condition I have no control over.
Maybe your husband would be grateful for your help. Just be gentle when asking if he needs help.
Blessings,
Jake

@skjm3 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I’m glad that you are here and felt relaxed enough to start a discussion.It could turn out to be a very good one! Are there any other symptoms or behaviors that you recognize?

@jakedduck1 Thank you for your advice, makes total sense.

My husband does the same thing - and I'm usually on the PC right by the kitchen. So I always ask, him, if he''s been standing there for awhile....."are you looking for something in particular? As sometimes things get buried back in the pantry, and you just can't spot them easily.
Best, Karla

Do you want to label cupboards with contents, and blame it on your failing memory (even if your memory is not failing), that way he won't take offense at the labels. Just a thought.

@becsbuddy He does have some tendencies to be over the top ‘everything’ needs to be put away, in the garage or condo. He rearranges items in the garage often . This may be done because he is board. However, he does not remember where he places some things. I try to keep tabs on where they are. 🙂

He needs his calendar for daily reminders, I place all his appointments only on his phone.
Short term memory is the biggest issue he has now.

It appears he feels more comfortable to talk to strangers, more so than immediate family members. He is a very friendly man. he always has been.

He was a truck driver until end of 2024, he still drives to mens coffee’s three times a week etc. He just prefers not to drive when we go out together.
One day at a time. Praying for forgiveness and grace daily. God is good.

@skjm3 My hubby used to do similar things, and I would nonchalantly ask if I could help him find something. Sometimes yes, and other times he would say he was "just looking" . As long as he couldn't/wouldn't hurt himself I would just let him be. I also would label drawers and cabinets to help him out so he wouldn't have to always rely on me...which I felt was letting him keep as much of his independence as I could. His memory left him quicker than I thought it would but I know there were times of clarity, even if or a short time, so I'm sure he knew what he was doing and what he wanted, and I wanted to help him out as much as possible. So there were a few areas in our home that were "all his". And i know he appreciated it ( he has severe aphasia so he wasn't easily able to communicate).
Love, Peace, Strength and Hugs

Yes, I do the same as the above post. Just gentle reminders where things are but I let my husband go through the drawers, put away the dishes, I never find the measuring spoons in the same place. Interesting, those little devils give him the hardest time. One clean bowl might be placed in a deep towel drawer - it's all good. It gives him something to do and makes him feel like he's helping. We tell each other now we're care partners in this journey. This morning, he told me we were "best buddies." That's the memories to moments @memoriestomoments that you post! Thank you for that valuable gem that has appreciate as we go whatever "hope" we can glean from all of this. 'Good morning, to every caregiver and their partner! Best, Karla