Long-term depression

Posted by anniep @anniep, Mar 8, 2017

New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there’s nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It’s “We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don’t bother me – but we love you!” I’m old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can’t ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?

@gingerw, Volunteer Mentor, there was a good piece on CBS this morning about the stress of holiday get togethers.

The presenter said it was unrealistic for us to think that on that one day, all previous remnants of our dysfunctional pasts just blow ,away in the wind, as if they had never been.
Unortunately, Uncle Bob will still most likely tell all of his old, boring stories. And he will not refrain from making his usual comments about how " young people today have no respect for their elders." All the while, he is working on his fourth glass of wine, and his word choices reflect his upbringing in an era when no one really knew how to be "politically correct. "

Very uncomfortable for your guests, whose first language is not English. Or the single mother raising two children all on her own. Or the cousin who has an anxiety disorder that no one talks about. But they do talk. And it's usually the typical advice such as " What does she have to be anxious about, anyway?"

"She just wants all the attention, I'm thinking…always has to be her way. She just needs a good talking to." And "She should just be grateful she has a decent job and this family to support her."

Self appointed judginess not welcome at the holiday table. Make sure Uncle Bob has an easy escape from the table, and plan on assigning him chores in the kitchen at certain moments. Work with your spouse and children ahead of time. Explain that the purpose of the family meal is not to change them. But to accept them. Love on them. Don't expect any of them to "act better " just because it is a holiday gathering.

We cannot change anyone. But we can change our response to another's inappropriate behavior. We can celebrate the holidays in ways that build us up individually. We can remember joys of holidays past. We can give to others what we needed back then, and even now.

Just a thought. We don't have to be too far down, for too long. We can change. And we can be the change.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

REPLY

Hi all, as social interaction is limited with the COVID-19 virus and many members have concerns they'd like to discuss, Mayo Clinic Connect has opened up a brand new group dedicated to COVID-19, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/covid-19/. The hope is to help members connect and cope during these unprecedented times.

Please follow the COVID-19 group by clicking on +Follow, look at the discussions there and participate. You are also welcome to start a new discussion on any COVID-19-related topic you'd like to discuss.

REPLY
Please login or register to post a reply.