It takes time. I tried to never tell my husband goodby but since we have a small dog, Suzie, I would just tell him I had to take care of Suzie and I would be back soon. He accepted that. He still mentions going home but is not insistent about it and I just move over it with something else or we have to wait a while. It is too cold, or raining, or any other excuse. He forgets about it soon and we go on. He has been in a care center for almost 2 years and I still never say goodby. Just use the "Suzie care" excuse. Sometimes we have to stretch the truth a little and that is okay.
It takes time. I tried to never tell my husband goodby but since we have a small dog, Suzie, I would just tell him I had to take care of Suzie and I would be back soon. He accepted that. He still mentions going home but is not insistent about it and I just move over it with something else or we have to wait a while. It is too cold, or raining, or any other excuse. He forgets about it soon and we go on. He has been in a care center for almost 2 years and I still never say goodby. Just use the "Suzie care" excuse. Sometimes we have to stretch the truth a little and that is okay.
@julesa Thanks for your prayers. He still knows everyone. 3rd week in Nursing home still wants to go home. Being encouraged that it takes time! Now saying he's going to shoot himself which he had said in the beginning of his illness. Scarry.... Not sleeping or staying in room at night, sleeping in common room in recliner most nights after 3am, has fallen several times, no injuries so far but at home when fell caused gashes in head. Never need stitches. Having 2nd thoughts about him being the there. Apologies for the rambling. I'm trying to take one day At a time.
I was wondering if things have settled down for both of you. My husband also had several falls but just scrapes and bruises. His doctor put him on Vitamin D . I’m sure it helps that he use to run marathons and is younger. He has nights were he is up also. The doctor tried Trazadone but that made things worse. Prayers and peace .
I was wondering if things have settled down for both of you. My husband also had several falls but just scrapes and bruises. His doctor put him on Vitamin D . I’m sure it helps that he use to run marathons and is younger. He has nights were he is up also. The doctor tried Trazadone but that made things worse. Prayers and peace .
@julesa Has gotten better A little! Is sleeping in bed, seems to settle in at night, watching tv, not falling since took off of2 meds. Things,are looking up but I'm a bit discouraged with the nursing facility. He is left to care for himself and I have found him in bathroom unable to get up from toilet. needs assistance with toileting...lots of laundry every day. I. I take It home. Other things are not right.Having a,patient care meeting Friday.
@julesa Has gotten better A little! Is sleeping in bed, seems to settle in at night, watching tv, not falling since took off of2 meds. Things,are looking up but I'm a bit discouraged with the nursing facility. He is left to care for himself and I have found him in bathroom unable to get up from toilet. needs assistance with toileting...lots of laundry every day. I. I take It home. Other things are not right.Having a,patient care meeting Friday.
@IndianaScott thank you. Last night nurse phoned. Not hurt but he had fallen again in his room. They are blaming it on him having snacks in rm...so now they plan to keep at nurse station for him and will give to him when he asks....he cannot ask coherently for anything!!!! I usually keep snack in container for only when I am there. I was told it was ok initially. Im ok with rules. I just want husb to be safe. And looked after as was the whole idea of succumbing to placing in the home. I don't do confrontation well & I hope that I am able to get my wishes across without sounding like a "B". Any suggestions? Family schedules are such that I'll be meeting alone. '-)
@julesa Has gotten better A little! Is sleeping in bed, seems to settle in at night, watching tv, not falling since took off of2 meds. Things,are looking up but I'm a bit discouraged with the nursing facility. He is left to care for himself and I have found him in bathroom unable to get up from toilet. needs assistance with toileting...lots of laundry every day. I. I take It home. Other things are not right.Having a,patient care meeting Friday.
I hope your conference goes well. I always made a list of my concerns/questions to go over with them. We all want the best for our spouses.
Prayers and blessings !
@julesa@IndianaScott He is settling in a bit. Meeting went well. All concerns addressed...I am pleased with the way it was approached. Thank you for your input.
@hopeful33250 Doing better. I feel bad for my husband. He is frustrated when trying to talk. Says bits and pieces but I don't understand him very well. Now at meals he eats with hand while holding fork in one hand. Doesn't want help either. Not only does that stress me but this fingernails are filthy. I try to cut them. He doesn't like it. I'm washing his hands and also using a cuticle stick to clean nails. Nursing home doesn't bother. Frustrating.
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It takes time. I tried to never tell my husband goodby but since we have a small dog, Suzie, I would just tell him I had to take care of Suzie and I would be back soon. He accepted that. He still mentions going home but is not insistent about it and I just move over it with something else or we have to wait a while. It is too cold, or raining, or any other excuse. He forgets about it soon and we go on. He has been in a care center for almost 2 years and I still never say goodby. Just use the "Suzie care" excuse. Sometimes we have to stretch the truth a little and that is okay.
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3 Reactions@rmftucker Thanks for the suggestion. I will never say goodbye again. Don't have a dog, but will think of something. Bless you.
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1 ReactionI was wondering if things have settled down for both of you. My husband also had several falls but just scrapes and bruises. His doctor put him on Vitamin D . I’m sure it helps that he use to run marathons and is younger. He has nights were he is up also. The doctor tried Trazadone but that made things worse. Prayers and peace .
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3 Reactions@julesa Has gotten better A little! Is sleeping in bed, seems to settle in at night, watching tv, not falling since took off of2 meds. Things,are looking up but I'm a bit discouraged with the nursing facility. He is left to care for himself and I have found him in bathroom unable to get up from toilet. needs assistance with toileting...lots of laundry every day. I. I take It home. Other things are not right.Having a,patient care meeting Friday.
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1 ReactionWishing you good luck with your patient care meeting this week, @dianajane
Sorry I missed this entire conversation until now.
Strength, courage, and peace!
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1 Reaction@IndianaScott thank you. Last night nurse phoned. Not hurt but he had fallen again in his room. They are blaming it on him having snacks in rm...so now they plan to keep at nurse station for him and will give to him when he asks....he cannot ask coherently for anything!!!! I usually keep snack in container for only when I am there. I was told it was ok initially. Im ok with rules. I just want husb to be safe. And looked after as was the whole idea of succumbing to placing in the home. I don't do confrontation well & I hope that I am able to get my wishes across without sounding like a "B". Any suggestions? Family schedules are such that I'll be meeting alone. '-)
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2 ReactionsI hope your conference goes well. I always made a list of my concerns/questions to go over with them. We all want the best for our spouses.
Prayers and blessings !
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1 Reaction@julesa @IndianaScott He is settling in a bit. Meeting went well. All concerns addressed...I am pleased with the way it was approached. Thank you for your input.
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2 ReactionsJust thinking about you, @dianajane. I hope all is going well for you.
Will you post when you have a moment and provide an update?
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1 Reaction@hopeful33250 Doing better. I feel bad for my husband. He is frustrated when trying to talk. Says bits and pieces but I don't understand him very well. Now at meals he eats with hand while holding fork in one hand. Doesn't want help either. Not only does that stress me but this fingernails are filthy. I try to cut them. He doesn't like it. I'm washing his hands and also using a cuticle stick to clean nails. Nursing home doesn't bother. Frustrating.
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