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Living Without You - My Brother's Gift of Life
I don’t think anyone can ever really be prepared for such a loss. It is just too much to try to wrap your head around until it happens. Even then, it can feel almost unreal.
"It was the most out of body experience to be watching one life leave us and go to his new home but the next three OR rooms around us were patients eagerly awaiting their renewed hope of life. I didn't know if I wanted to let go or hang on. I pray they take great care of his life that lives on in them."
My story, My younger brother was in a horrible accident. He was riding his 4 wheeler and a vehicle hit him and left him on Friday. The next 48 hours would be an out of body exspereince. I had delt with trauma and more specificly, brain trauma for many many years.
I didn't know what to do or say or anything. I guess being a loved one for whatever reason, all of my exspereince and knowledge had completely disappeared when I needed it most.
Now what???? Go home and No more dirt tracked in by your work boots, no more fixing that broken door for the fiftieth time, no more laughter, no more meals that only you like.
The only thing that has gotten me through. The knowledge that God has forgiven your sins and you live on in peace with no pain. The knowledge that I will be gifted with the same promise when my time comes. The knowledge that when the time is right we will all be reunited.
I understand some things better than I did in the beginning, since I now know what it feels like to have no hope, no love, to feel all alone in a planet full of people. I know now what it feels like to want to end your life, how deep the sorrow and despair can go.
We must talk, to each other, we must share our feelings, we must know that whatever we are feeling we are not alone. I have learned not to judge, I have learned the blessing of giving a gift of life, I am learning to live again.
Gift of Life
Dawn
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Dear Dawn, I, as a transplant recipient, really felt moved by your message. I hope that the recipient is as grateful as I am for the generosity of the donor and his/her family. I can guarantee that I am taking the best of all possible care for this wonderful gift of life.
Being a recipient is a life changing experience in so many ways. I will never again take a day for granted. I didn't find out until after my transplant just how far gone my liver was so I was very fortunate to get my transplant when I did, sooner than anticipated.
I did not receive my gift at Mayo but I had spoken to the transplant people there and was very close to double-registering when I got the call.
I have now registered to be a donor for whatever of me can be useful to someone else.
Thanks for your posting,
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3 ReactionsHi @contentandwell thank you!! So good to here from you. I am very confident the Cypionate's are taking very good care of themselves.
Blessings
Dawn
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1 ReactionWell that was not what I wanted to say!! I meant to say I'm sure the donor recipients are taking great care of themselves.
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2 Reactions@contentandwell,
I also am a registered organ donor. As soon as I learned that I, a recipient, could be a donor, I made sure that I was registered.
One of the most beautiful things that people have said to me after my successful transplant was, "I registered to be an organ donor, because I see the miracle that happened for you."
Rosemary
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2 ReactionsDawn, thanks for the clarification, I even googled Cypionate's because I was uncertain what that meant! I had planned to ask you but had to get off due to a commitment.
JK
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1 ReactionThanks for the reply below.
I googled Cypionate too. LOL
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1 ReactionSorry I had used my talk to text options which seems to always get me in trouble. Lol... we only have a few min to edit and I had gotten interrupted with a phone call and came back to proof read and it was to late. So sorry for the confusion!!
Blessings
Dawn
Dawn, it just added a bit of levity. Gotta love spell check.
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1 ReactionI realize that I'm responding to an old post but I'm new to these discussions I have joined because I just turned 50 and will need a kidney transplant (hopefully from a living donor) in 1-2 years due to my polycystic kidney disease (PKD). I wanted to tell you about a wonderful organization called Griefshare. It is a support group for people who are grieving the loss, through death, of a loved one. You can go to the website and put in your zip code and hopefully there is a group near you. It is a 12 week program but you can attend as many times as you need since grief takes a minimum of one year, often longer, to navigate. The website also has some articles and general information about grief. The groups are run by volunteers (my husband and I have lead several) so if one does not suit you perhaps there will be another in your community to participate in. I truly hope you find a community to walk with you through your grief because no one should do it alone. My first daughter died suddenly at 7 months, my dad died at age 71 from PKD (infection following a kidney transplant), and my brother-in-law died suddenly from cardiomyopathy at age 42. It doesn't matter how many people you have said good-bye to - every grief process is different but none are quick and easy. Please reach out for help.