Living Without You - My Brother's Gift of Life

Posted by Dawn, Volunteer Mentor @dawn_giacabazi, Nov 23, 2016

I don’t think anyone can ever really be prepared for such a loss. It is just too much to try to wrap your head around until it happens. Even then, it can feel almost unreal.

“It was the most out of body experience to be watching one life leave us and go to his new home but the next three OR rooms around us were patients eagerly awaiting their renewed hope of life. I didn’t know if I wanted to let go or hang on. I pray they take great care of his life that lives on in them.”

My story, My younger brother was in a horrible accident. He was riding his 4 wheeler and a vehicle hit him and left him on Friday. The next 48 hours would be an out of body exspereince. I had delt with trauma and more specificly, brain trauma for many many years.

I didn’t know what to do or say or anything. I guess being a loved one for whatever reason, all of my exspereince and knowledge had completely disappeared when I needed it most.

Now what???? Go home and No more dirt tracked in by your work boots, no more fixing that broken door for the fiftieth time, no more laughter, no more meals that only you like.

The only thing that has gotten me through. The knowledge that God has forgiven your sins and you live on in peace with no pain. The knowledge that I will be gifted with the same promise when my time comes. The knowledge that when the time is right we will all be reunited.

I understand some things better than I did in the beginning, since I now know what it feels like to have no hope, no love, to feel all alone in a planet full of people. I know now what it feels like to want to end your life, how deep the sorrow and despair can go.

We must talk, to each other, we must share our feelings, we must know that whatever we are feeling we are not alone. I have learned not to judge, I have learned the blessing of giving a gift of life, I am learning to live again.

Gift of Life
Dawn

@dawn_giacabazi

Hi @contentandwell thank you!! So good to here from you. I am very confident the Cypionate’s are taking very good care of themselves.

Blessings
Dawn

Jump to this post

Thanks for the reply below.

@dawn_giacabazi

Well that was not what I wanted to say!! I meant to say I’m sure the donor recipients are taking great care of themselves.

Jump to this post

I googled Cypionate too. LOL

Sorry I had used my talk to text options which seems to always get me in trouble. Lol… we only have a few min to edit and I had gotten interrupted with a phone call and came back to proof read and it was to late. So sorry for the confusion!!

Blessings
Dawn

@dawn_giacabazi

Sorry I had used my talk to text options which seems to always get me in trouble. Lol… we only have a few min to edit and I had gotten interrupted with a phone call and came back to proof read and it was to late. So sorry for the confusion!!

Blessings
Dawn

Jump to this post

Dawn, it just added a bit of levity. Gotta love spell check.

I realize that I’m responding to an old post but I’m new to these discussions I have joined because I just turned 50 and will need a kidney transplant (hopefully from a living donor) in 1-2 years due to my polycystic kidney disease (PKD). I wanted to tell you about a wonderful organization called Griefshare. It is a support group for people who are grieving the loss, through death, of a loved one. You can go to the website and put in your zip code and hopefully there is a group near you. It is a 12 week program but you can attend as many times as you need since grief takes a minimum of one year, often longer, to navigate. The website also has some articles and general information about grief. The groups are run by volunteers (my husband and I have lead several) so if one does not suit you perhaps there will be another in your community to participate in. I truly hope you find a community to walk with you through your grief because no one should do it alone. My first daughter died suddenly at 7 months, my dad died at age 71 from PKD (infection following a kidney transplant), and my brother-in-law died suddenly from cardiomyopathy at age 42. It doesn’t matter how many people you have said good-bye to – every grief process is different but none are quick and easy. Please reach out for help.

Hello @lcamino!! Welcome to connect and your comment is greatly appreciated. No Post is too old to connect.

My mother passed away of a glioblastoma (brain cancer) about four years ago now and then my brother with his accident and I will tell you that grief definitely is a lifelong process with good days and bad days.

Prayers of blessing
Dawn

@IWantToBelieve

I realize that I’m responding to an old post but I’m new to these discussions I have joined because I just turned 50 and will need a kidney transplant (hopefully from a living donor) in 1-2 years due to my polycystic kidney disease (PKD). I wanted to tell you about a wonderful organization called Griefshare. It is a support group for people who are grieving the loss, through death, of a loved one. You can go to the website and put in your zip code and hopefully there is a group near you. It is a 12 week program but you can attend as many times as you need since grief takes a minimum of one year, often longer, to navigate. The website also has some articles and general information about grief. The groups are run by volunteers (my husband and I have lead several) so if one does not suit you perhaps there will be another in your community to participate in. I truly hope you find a community to walk with you through your grief because no one should do it alone. My first daughter died suddenly at 7 months, my dad died at age 71 from PKD (infection following a kidney transplant), and my brother-in-law died suddenly from cardiomyopathy at age 42. It doesn’t matter how many people you have said good-bye to – every grief process is different but none are quick and easy. Please reach out for help.

Jump to this post

@lcamino, Welcome to Connect. We are here to support each other and to share useful information with others. I thank you for your sharing and support that you have offered. I feel that this is the kind of information that can be helpful to many of our members. I offer my belated condolences on your family losses.

I also see that you are patient, yourself. I invite you to look at the other transplant discussions. There are others who are in the process, or have received kidney transplant. And there are some recent discussions about living donation. Please accept my personal invitation to join in where ever you feel comfortable. We welcome questions or concerns that you might present. Also we look forward to any helpful information or encouragement that you discover along the way.

Here is a link that I also offer for you to explore.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/check-out-our-new-connect-page-on-living-donation/

I look foreword to continuing conversation with you on one of these discussions.
Rosemary

Please login or register to post a reply.