Lessons I Learned From Caregiving

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Fri, Sep 13 1:34pm

Good day caregivers everywhere! I hope, no matter where you are, the sun is shining on you today.

I love to write and just the other day I finally felt strong enough to begin to write about the experiences and lessons I learned during the time of my wife's illness and my years of caregiving. Up until now I have basically written about the pre-cancer times in our lives.

Rather than take up space here and retype them, I thought I'd invite any caregivers here, who are interested, to simply check out the below links. I have titled them as Shifting Gears since prior to this my website has been mainly focused on wine. I know — big shift 🙂

The first is what I see as some of the primary lessons I learned as a caregiver, noting there will no doubt be more to add:

http://dpwinecellar.com/gear-shifting/

The second, which I just wrote today is what I call busting the bromides I encountered so often as a caregiver:

http://dpwinecellar.com/gear-shifting-busting-bs-bromides/

Certainly I have not hit them all so I ask are there any bromides that as a caregiver particularly get your dander up?

@IndianaScott Your article and blogs are very interesting and helpful. Could I ask, though, what suggestions you might have to replace the old bromides?

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@becsbuddy

@IndianaScott Your article and blogs are very interesting and helpful. Could I ask, though, what suggestions you might have to replace the old bromides?

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Thanks for the kind words, @becsbuddy

As I think about your great question, here is what I think:

1 — Caregiving must be demanding. How are you doing?

2– Is there anything I can do to help either of you?

3 — See #1

4 — Is there anything I can do for YOU?

5 — I've heard XYZ is a good (person/company) have you ever tried them?

The only other thing I'd add here is that if something is offered, I hope the person will actually follow through. So many times folks said 'sure I'll do that' and never did. This is especially true if it is said in front of the patient — offering, then not doing it, was especially crushing to my wife.

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@becsbuddy

@IndianaScott Your article and blogs are very interesting and helpful. Could I ask, though, what suggestions you might have to replace the old bromides?

Jump to this post

I'm a health/wellness writer, in my 22nd year as a family caregiver, and wrote a series of books for family caregivers: The Family Caregiver's Guide, Affirmations for Family Caregivers, The Family Caregiver's Journal, and The Family Caregiver's Cookbook. These books have the same purpose–to make your caregiving days easier.

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This is excellent! Thank you.

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@IndianaScott

Thanks for the kind words, @becsbuddy

As I think about your great question, here is what I think:

1 — Caregiving must be demanding. How are you doing?

2– Is there anything I can do to help either of you?

3 — See #1

4 — Is there anything I can do for YOU?

5 — I've heard XYZ is a good (person/company) have you ever tried them?

The only other thing I'd add here is that if something is offered, I hope the person will actually follow through. So many times folks said 'sure I'll do that' and never did. This is especially true if it is said in front of the patient — offering, then not doing it, was especially crushing to my wife.

Jump to this post

@IndianaScott thank you!

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I received a Caregivers newsletter today. I thought I would add this quote to the discussion:
“And remember, when you reach out for help, you are not just helping yourself, but you are also offering an enriching opportunity to give and connect, to someone else.”

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Yes. When people say " he doesn't look siick"
huh? They think we are making this up? Seriously?

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