Managing Life-Long Mental Health as a Senior

Posted by georgette12 @georgette12, Jan 13, 2017

I have just started using this site so this is my first message.

Good Morning all, yeah know…I got on the chronic pain discussion site, and some have mentioned that there are a lot of depression and mental health issues and sharing on here, well..of course. Ongoing mental pain is absolutely chronic. Like I said in another comment….pain is pain. My goal is to deal with the physical, mental and spiritual part of myself. I want so much to be accepted and be a value of some sort. I know I am loved, no doubt of that at all, but I yearn for camaraderie, fellowship. I seem to be able to speak my mind so I hope I do not offend anyone. I will try to keep that in check.
Tallgirl and Jim, I am sending as much positive energy you way that I can. I too lived with depression for over 8 years. I had been seeing a physiologist, which in hind sight I believe was an angel. This woman was able to unlock me and lead me to freedom. So I truly wish for you that you will find freedom.
PEACE & LOVE JJ

@jjwest

well folks, since I did not get any response for my plea for someone to talk with, I guess it just confirms my suspensions of who can I trust. I know I am new but golly gee folks, just say HI…I did a couple of responses that someone liked what I had to say but did not reply…why?? This may sounds really needy or nerdy, but it is what it is. Yeah, we all have problems, all of us that live here on this planet , but it seems to me that the success that someone has experienced is the most valuable thing we can offer each other…..well other than letting each other KNOW they are LOVED.! truly loved! BE there for each other…and I am as guilty as anyone. I tend to sit back and every once in a while reach out to test the waters..There have been some responses and they have been nice, but on the level I am trying to find. I miss having friends, but I don’t promote it either, so I though maybe this forum would be an outlet. WE ALL have something that has affected us in a negative or horrific way. My experience so far that life can be tolerable, wonderful or extremely hard and unpleasant. WE all have to make that choice everyday of how we choose to see it. I do wish, hope, pray that we can all reach out and find peace,letting go of whatever is stopping us from living. Ok…enough ranting?
PEACE & LOVE……JJ I am am 74 yr been here.woman.:)

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Good Morning Colleen 🙂 I really am not sure what I want heard, maybe when I share someone may find something similar in themselves and share with me. I found in these life experiences that I have things that happen that help me see things differently then I had before. So like as you do, take something I say and question it. It sounds like you have been a counselor for a long time, Is this right? I was a Stephen’s Minister Leader for over 8 years. I USED to be and do a lot of things. Now I have no title, no passions, no way of making awards, no sharing with others. I keep saying I am going to this tiny town’s newspaper and seeing if I can find people my age that like to pay games. I used to knit….well golly I used to do many things, I am a mother of three boys, 4 grand children. My first husband died 16 years ago, we had been married for 39 years. Then after 5 years of his death, I remarried, which was horrible. Now I live with a man that I am not married to legally. We have been together for over 9 years now. He is my sweetheart. He helps me so much. There is love and acceptance, We do not marry because if we did the government would penalize him and take away his benefits. Since I have so many health issues, I don’t want him to be without these benefits If I die first. We are happy and I am trying to tell myself that is enough. But underneath all of this I hide, because always believed that you do not co habitate. So I feel like I am doing something bad according to my past church people. My three sons are dealing with it. Because John is such a good man, they are coming around. John does not go to church, and he encourages me to go if I want. I don’t want to any more.
Share something about myself, well I just did some. I have dealt with death, loneliness,depression,loss of a lot of money, bad marriage, strokes, heart attacks, and 3 way bypass, 7 major surgeries, sever spinal stenosis, obese,perifical neuropothy. I have a pace maker that I depend on 100% of the time. I had a spinal stimulator implanted Feb. 2016. It has helped greatly.
I am on my way to Wally World…TTYL
PEACE & LOVE …JJ

I’m so overwhelmed right now. I’ve got so much to do today. I want to accomplish things like take a shower, make the bed, make a list of my current meds for my doctors and to make notes of what I want to tell each doctor I see. It’s not going to happen in the condition I am in. When I turned on my computer there were several posts that I WANT to write back to but I just can’t think straight right now. I am not ignoring you at the moment but i do hope to feel better (hopefully) later today. I do care about all of you. I just need to rest now. Thanks for listening..

Hello @jjwest, I just read your post and was pleased to see that you are a Stephen Minister, just as I am! You will always be a Stephen Minister, even if you are not actively serving. The skills we learned and the people whose lives we touched will always be with us. Have you considered asking your church for a Stephen Minister for your own needs now? If not your former church (you mentioned that you are not attending now), perhaps a different church in your community that might provide a “listening ear” for you. There are plenty of churches that will not be judgemental and I hope that you find one who can provide you with someone to listen to you. Thnik about it and let me know what you decide. Also, are you able to get to a NAMI support group in your area? Teresa

@lesbatts

Hi Lynn I’m so sorry that you’re not feeling well. I too am very depressed and spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I will not let myself do that today. Some of the time I have to take a nap even when I’m feeling good as the handful of pills I take every day makes me so tired. I wish for all of us that they could come up with a magic pill that would take away the depression and anxiety and would work for everyone. In this day and age you would think we would have more effective solutions for our illness. I feel a little better today and even though I live in New England I’m going to try and get out with the dog today. One thing I’m worried about is not feeling better when we go to Florida in three weeks. I will be with people all the time which I don’t mind for a while but I also need my alone time.
Jim I hope that you too will begin to feel better. Have you tried changing meds? Have you Lynn? I think I’ve run the gamut on pills therefore there are few options for me. There are a couple of new antidepressants that have come out in the past few years but I haven’t tried any of them yet. I guess that’s all I have to say. I’ll be thinking of you guys and hoping that you get better.
Take care,
Leslie

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@lesbatts Thank you for bringing up the topic of day programs. I hope the rest of our group is aware of these programs and can take advantage of them. Teresa

@jjwest

well folks, since I did not get any response for my plea for someone to talk with, I guess it just confirms my suspensions of who can I trust. I know I am new but golly gee folks, just say HI…I did a couple of responses that someone liked what I had to say but did not reply…why?? This may sounds really needy or nerdy, but it is what it is. Yeah, we all have problems, all of us that live here on this planet , but it seems to me that the success that someone has experienced is the most valuable thing we can offer each other…..well other than letting each other KNOW they are LOVED.! truly loved! BE there for each other…and I am as guilty as anyone. I tend to sit back and every once in a while reach out to test the waters..There have been some responses and they have been nice, but on the level I am trying to find. I miss having friends, but I don’t promote it either, so I though maybe this forum would be an outlet. WE ALL have something that has affected us in a negative or horrific way. My experience so far that life can be tolerable, wonderful or extremely hard and unpleasant. WE all have to make that choice everyday of how we choose to see it. I do wish, hope, pray that we can all reach out and find peace,letting go of whatever is stopping us from living. Ok…enough ranting?
PEACE & LOVE……JJ I am am 74 yr been here.woman.:)

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Hi JJ I really really appreciate your opening up as I have some things similar to you. I would loose my medical
benefit if I were to marry. Yet this weekend and over the last 19 years. I decided that I would be in disobedience
in the eye’s of God and its something I know God can not bless, living with someone. I know as Believers in Jesus Christ God’s word
says that my purpose is to glorify God. I am in that tough spiritual situation that you speak of and I so much
can relate and thank you for sharing. I decided this week after much prayer (talking to God about the matter)
that I would remain in my home alone except when I choose to go out, then the issue is, if I am seen with
another man, it is considered adultery………so. It is me and God walking this life. He did not make us to isolate
ourselves from others. God himself made man to communicate with. All must make their own decisions
and deserve the love of others. David Jeremiah…..this week ” God loves you, He always has and He always will.”
Eliz

@tallygirl

I’m so overwhelmed right now. I’ve got so much to do today. I want to accomplish things like take a shower, make the bed, make a list of my current meds for my doctors and to make notes of what I want to tell each doctor I see. It’s not going to happen in the condition I am in. When I turned on my computer there were several posts that I WANT to write back to but I just can’t think straight right now. I am not ignoring you at the moment but i do hope to feel better (hopefully) later today. I do care about all of you. I just need to rest now. Thanks for listening..

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No worries, Tallygirl. Connect shouldn’t be another chore to add the never-ending list. We’ll still be here when you’re ready to write.
Rest well.

@jjwest

well folks, since I did not get any response for my plea for someone to talk with, I guess it just confirms my suspensions of who can I trust. I know I am new but golly gee folks, just say HI…I did a couple of responses that someone liked what I had to say but did not reply…why?? This may sounds really needy or nerdy, but it is what it is. Yeah, we all have problems, all of us that live here on this planet , but it seems to me that the success that someone has experienced is the most valuable thing we can offer each other…..well other than letting each other KNOW they are LOVED.! truly loved! BE there for each other…and I am as guilty as anyone. I tend to sit back and every once in a while reach out to test the waters..There have been some responses and they have been nice, but on the level I am trying to find. I miss having friends, but I don’t promote it either, so I though maybe this forum would be an outlet. WE ALL have something that has affected us in a negative or horrific way. My experience so far that life can be tolerable, wonderful or extremely hard and unpleasant. WE all have to make that choice everyday of how we choose to see it. I do wish, hope, pray that we can all reach out and find peace,letting go of whatever is stopping us from living. Ok…enough ranting?
PEACE & LOVE……JJ I am am 74 yr been here.woman.:)

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jjwest- thanks for sharing what’s on your heart and your mind- I wouldn’t worry how you say things, just say what’s your feeling in your spirit and your heart- I think we have to honest with ourselves and others first ( even if it sounds bad-) to work our way up, to a positive outcome. Make sense I hope? You know all of us, who are hurting with loss or disease, need a friend daily to talk with and to be completely honest- no matter how it sounds- to me that’s a true friend, not judging, not telling me how I should act or talk( if it is off color- I will hear that myself as I share and begin to chance my own behavior. I’m really sorry about the loss of your husband, we never forget some one we love ( like a spouse, child, Sister or Brother-or a really good friend. yes, it will get better with time, but time won’t stop the memories, it will just help us deal with them better and they will become less disabling). Parkinson’s you ask about- I have had it three years now, there is many side affects- but it also depends on the person. I don’t shake as much- but I have a real problem with balance, falling once in awhile, eating, a dry and burning mouth-at times. There is much more, look at the Parkinson’s site under ” The National Foundation for Parkinson’s” they list many-many side affect and things we need to be aware of. Hope that’s a little help-Gods Blessings and you are in my prayers. jjames

@tallygirl

I’m so overwhelmed right now. I’ve got so much to do today. I want to accomplish things like take a shower, make the bed, make a list of my current meds for my doctors and to make notes of what I want to tell each doctor I see. It’s not going to happen in the condition I am in. When I turned on my computer there were several posts that I WANT to write back to but I just can’t think straight right now. I am not ignoring you at the moment but i do hope to feel better (hopefully) later today. I do care about all of you. I just need to rest now. Thanks for listening..

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HEY TALLYGIRL,…give yourself a break girl! all will happen in it’s time. Making a list is wonderful, but try not to become a slave to it. One baby step at a time and let yourself celebrate each step, even if it is two steps forward and on step back. rest lady…and come back as soon as you feel like it.
PEACE & LOVE…JJ

hopeful, just read your post 🙂 now tag you are it. 🙂 I don’t go to church anymore, I don’t have the courage to see judgmental faces or hear remarks about living with someone and not be legally married. I used to have a Stephen Minister when I was in Austin, but here in this very little town, there aren’t any that I have found. What is NAMI?? I have not heard of it. You are right once a Stephens Minister you always are, the skills you learned helps you in so many ways, and sometimes I realize I am using them and not be aware of it. I remember the folks in my life that I have interacted with and all the teens who still till this day call me mom,when I see them. But I find myself hiding from them. I have lived with fear for so long and some days I just say the h..with it I am going to do something and not to worry about it. I do it every so often, but then crawl right back in my cage. I cannot seem to stay with anything for very long, I play the keyboard…sometimes, I paint with acrylics….some times, I play the guitar…sometimes… I do read a lot, and I sleep a lot. Cannot sleep at night so I end up sleeping in the daytime, and that makes my angry with myself. I would love to have a passion for something,,,that seems to be something I would really enjoy. Thanks for “Listening” it’s nice to find someone who has a clue.
PEACE 7 LOVE …JJ

johnjames, you are a treasure young man. You are younger than I am 🙂 Thank you for the very kind words..Keep sharing….it’s wonderful
PEACE & LOVE JJ

@jjwest Thanks for your reply! You asked about NAMI. NAMI stands for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. NAMI is a nationwide organization that offers educational opportunites and support groups for folks who suffer from mental illness as well as their family members. Wonderful group of people. They usually have educational meetings where they have speakers in the area who discuss mental illness and talk about new developments in treatments and research being done for mental illness conditions. If you google “NAMI” you can find a support group in your area. One other thing that NAMI does is educate churches on mental illness and how their congregations can support those with mental illness (isn’t that great!!). A group came to our church and the Stephen Ministry opened the meeting up to the entire congregation. It was wonderful. Hope this is a good day for you. Blessings to you! Teresa

@jjwest

hopeful, just read your post 🙂 now tag you are it. 🙂 I don’t go to church anymore, I don’t have the courage to see judgmental faces or hear remarks about living with someone and not be legally married. I used to have a Stephen Minister when I was in Austin, but here in this very little town, there aren’t any that I have found. What is NAMI?? I have not heard of it. You are right once a Stephens Minister you always are, the skills you learned helps you in so many ways, and sometimes I realize I am using them and not be aware of it. I remember the folks in my life that I have interacted with and all the teens who still till this day call me mom,when I see them. But I find myself hiding from them. I have lived with fear for so long and some days I just say the h..with it I am going to do something and not to worry about it. I do it every so often, but then crawl right back in my cage. I cannot seem to stay with anything for very long, I play the keyboard…sometimes, I paint with acrylics….some times, I play the guitar…sometimes… I do read a lot, and I sleep a lot. Cannot sleep at night so I end up sleeping in the daytime, and that makes my angry with myself. I would love to have a passion for something,,,that seems to be something I would really enjoy. Thanks for “Listening” it’s nice to find someone who has a clue.
PEACE 7 LOVE …JJ

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Hi, @jjwest. I’m a retired minister, but please don’t stop reading what I write just because that’s my label. Lol. I have learned over the course of my 66 years lessons from both sides of the pulpit. My father and grandfather were also ministers, but again, please don’t hold that against me.

I’ve known other people in your position, and I don’t believe there’s any reason to kick you out of the fold. One of the things I’ve learned is that there are critical, mean, judgmental, hypocritical, holier than thou people in every group of people, connected with a church or not. At the same time, as you know, there are nice, accepting, loving people in each of those gatherings of humans. I can tell that you have certainly been one of the good ones.

I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, but I do remember my father admonishing us to look for the good in people, usually after we’ve just said something negative about someone. I’ve not always followed that code, but I do try to remember it from time to time.

Maybe 20 years ago, my sister was living with a man not her husband. It was complicated. Her prior husband had cancer, and if they got divorced, he wouldn’t have insurance, so she put that technicality on hold. When he died, she did formally marry. But neither she nor her husband liked the arrangement, so, they talked with our father, and he performed an ecclesiastical wedding ceremony. It wasn’t a binding or legal marriage, but she and Gordon felt better. (And I think it made our parents feel better, too.) It’s something you might consider, if you can find a minister agreeable to it. It’s unfortunate that government regulations force us to do things that are contrary to our conscience.

Do you feel guilty or shamed because of your depression and any other mental issues? I know that can happen, even though the guilt is undeserved.

Jim

Thanks hopeful,johnjames,&jimhd…..thanks for caring…sounds kind of canned doesn’t it? But it is meant sincerely. I have convinced myself that I am not depressed, but when I look at how I feel and think, and sleep all the time, I am wondering. I don’t think I feel guilty about ever being depressed,not now, I did when I was deep in its hold. my cardiologist put me on Zoloft, and it has helped like a miracle. I don’t cry all the time, or get down about dying. There are so many things that contribute to depression, loss, getting older, being disabled,PAIN, children are too busy to visit, Most of the time I am able to handle things pretty good, just every once in a while it all seems to pile up all at once. So far I have been able to fight it off, mostly. I got on this site because I hoped to find a group of Seniors who are struggling and they would share with me how they cope, and how they “feel” about things. I believe I have found that place., now if I can give as much or more, that will be awesome.
PEACE & LOVE….JJ

@jjwest

hopeful, just read your post 🙂 now tag you are it. 🙂 I don’t go to church anymore, I don’t have the courage to see judgmental faces or hear remarks about living with someone and not be legally married. I used to have a Stephen Minister when I was in Austin, but here in this very little town, there aren’t any that I have found. What is NAMI?? I have not heard of it. You are right once a Stephens Minister you always are, the skills you learned helps you in so many ways, and sometimes I realize I am using them and not be aware of it. I remember the folks in my life that I have interacted with and all the teens who still till this day call me mom,when I see them. But I find myself hiding from them. I have lived with fear for so long and some days I just say the h..with it I am going to do something and not to worry about it. I do it every so often, but then crawl right back in my cage. I cannot seem to stay with anything for very long, I play the keyboard…sometimes, I paint with acrylics….some times, I play the guitar…sometimes… I do read a lot, and I sleep a lot. Cannot sleep at night so I end up sleeping in the daytime, and that makes my angry with myself. I would love to have a passion for something,,,that seems to be something I would really enjoy. Thanks for “Listening” it’s nice to find someone who has a clue.
PEACE 7 LOVE …JJ

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@jjwest I understand your hesitancy to go to church based on the judgmental attitudes of some. Churches can be very tough on folks. They miss the compassion of Jesus. Try to remember that not all churches are judgmental, there just might be a healthy church for you nearby. Teresa

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