It's just one of those days: Share your transplant recovery tips

Hello chickytina, Thanks for your caring spirit. Our family live a 2 day drive away and I guess they prefer after 6 yrs of my spouse having his transplanted kidney to not call, write, email, text or snail mail us to show support. I have tried many times to embrace zoom stuff and I don't at all. I am a huge extrovert all my life; but have not been able to live even close to my normal self which has caused me to go into a depression over 4.5 yrs ago. First in life having a mental illness and I'm over 60 yrs old. We have a gazebo screened in for friends to come visit us and that has not brought people to come visit , even me and I'm healthy. What I am learning after May 2020 when I noticed a change in people is that 'empathetic distress' a psychological term I learned reading a psychological research article was revealing itself in super long time friends of mine. What that means basically is the pain that I am in emotionally they seem to 'take it on ' and cannot handle it. THey cannot just be present, be there for me/us. they ask how we are doing and I am very honest and after a year they drifted in the 'rearview mirror'. Even distant friends not local to my area started to react like this by not contacting us. I have always nurtured my family and friend relationships no matter how hard things get ,but I guess people cannot reciprocate when we need support. I wish them well and move on. Six years of waiting for my spouse to feel good for a day is still a wait. His doctors are more focused on the kidney function more than quality of life. That is what we have learned. Not everyone accepting a kidney transplant is receiving the complete news before going on a wait list is what we think. We know everyone is different, but tell us how some people over years of changing drugs and doses just don't feel good 'ever'. I could write a book at this point in time. Thanks for writing.

Thanks for your caring spirit. We don't allow people inside our house since transplant's 14 months of initial serious problems, then COVID-19 arrived 6 wks after first good blood lab results happened. WE don't allow food except that we make inside our home due to how it affects his diabetic issues which are very more complicated after transplant. He is not a recent transplant recipient. THis is almost 6 yrs post transplant. For him the organ functions well after the first 14 months of rejection, low hemoglobin, CMV to name a few serious problems. FOr him it is the antirejection medications side effects has resulted in no quality of life. Medication changes and doses have already occurred and still no improvements. Again, thanks for your caring spirit.