~ Flat out at the bottom: so many bills to pay, not sleeping, worry ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Apr 12, 2017

I have not been here for awhile …. I am just totally flat out at the bottom. I’m on a list to get a low-income apartment, but so far none is available, I have so many bills to pay off …. I’m getting dentures and I have a huge bill from my dentist, another big bill from my Oral Surgeon, I will soon have a bill of $6000 for a new heating A/C unit I own in Frederick – I’m renting it out and can’t sell it because I’m “under water”, and then of course the normal things like food, Rx’s, gas, electric, etc.
I have not been able to sleep for weeks worrying about this …. I just don’t have enough coming in to pay all the payments that are to go out every month. I’m in a constant state of high anxiety and am having IBS from it, plus migraines. I want to get a job, but I think I’ll try to go full time rather than part time. At 72, I didn’t expect needing a full time job, but it is what it is.
So these are the golden years, huh? Yea, right.
abby

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety group.

That was supposed to say “a new heating/A/C unit at the condo I own in Frederick.”
abby

REPLY

@amberpep Hi Abby, I understand that you are feeling overwhelmed and that is perfectly natural under the circumstances, but try to remember that circumstances do change. All of us are pulling for you to come out of this and find the answers you need. Remember that you have many friends here who care about you. Keep in touch with us. Teresa

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@hopeful33250

@amberpep Hi Abby, I understand that you are feeling overwhelmed and that is perfectly natural under the circumstances, but try to remember that circumstances do change. All of us are pulling for you to come out of this and find the answers you need. Remember that you have many friends here who care about you. Keep in touch with us. Teresa

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Thanks Teresa … truthfully, with a few exceptions it seems everyone is going to the Chronic Pain board ….. now, I’m not diminishing that at all, and I’ve been in their shoes, but clinical depression and anxiety is also painful, just in a different way. Looking forward to the rest of my life, however long it is, it just doesn’t seem worth it ….. I’m tired, very tired. I have a “collection” of things that my kids know nothing about, but at 72, if this continues, they may prove useful someday.
abby

REPLY
@hopeful33250

@amberpep Hi Abby, I understand that you are feeling overwhelmed and that is perfectly natural under the circumstances, but try to remember that circumstances do change. All of us are pulling for you to come out of this and find the answers you need. Remember that you have many friends here who care about you. Keep in touch with us. Teresa

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@amberpep I understand, Abby. The pain associated with anxiety and depression can seem all encompassing at times, can’t it? However, it does tend to be temporary and treatments are available. I pray that you will find those treatments, help and wisdom for yourself. You are a valuable person here on Mayo Connect. Your comments have encouraged others to speak of their feelings and that is important. Keep sharing and give yourself some “rest breaks” from your worries. We all need you! Teresa

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Thanks so much for your gentle reply Teresa ….. I’ve been in therapy for 12 years and am taking 4 different psychotropics. But when I hit “overload” I just can’t contain it anymore. The other night I was so upset over my financial situation that I was ready to drive to the hospital. I didn’t but sat outside in the chilly air for awhile.
Abby

REPLY

@amberpep. I’m so very sorry what you are dealing with. At 72 you are supposed to be enjoying life and relaxing.

Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace University says the first priority in your life is to make sure you have a roof over your head, food to eat, medication for your health and then the rest of the financial concerns. Then you need to prioritize the remaining bills/obligations. You need to think about the reality if you are able to work 40 hours/week. Is that something you can physically do? is there a job that you can do without physical/emotional/mental limitations? Have you thought about being an Uber Driver? Not sure if you have a car or like to drive, but people can make some decent money doing that. You may need to thing about non-traditional jobs at this time of your life. I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you are old or ancient, but you expressed some physical concerns like IBS, which you need restroom facilities nearby. Insomnia is horrible and it sounds like it is anxiety induced. If you are able to reduce some anxiety you will sleep better. You haven’t said what medication you are taking, but a short term anti-anxiety med may help you. Have you consulted your doctor so he/she knows what you are experiencing?

The pain you speak of is so very true, so don’t diminish the role it plays in your life. The burden you carry is heavy; have you thought about sharing it with someone. Talking will help lighten the load. The other person may not be able to help, but there is one other person in the world sharing your life. Sometimes we need that little oomph to push us to the next level. The anxiety is a terrible thing. If you are able to keep the lines of communication open with the people you owe money to that will be in your best interest. Even sending in a small payment is better than nothing, it shows you are at least trying. By not responding or discussing things with them, they think you don’t care or are out to screw them. The threat of collection agencies is terrible, but sometimes a necessary evil to give time to get finances figured out.

My mom just turned 73 and my dad is 75. They had a time after they sold their business and then the buyers defaulted where they didn’t know how they were going to make it. It took some time, but they did. They didn’t discuss a bunch with me, they told me what had happened and how they were struggling and didn’t want to get me involved, so I understand not wanting to burden your kids. I am thinking you are single and without a significant other, so then it is doubly as hard.

Sometimes it is better to write your concerns out on paper so those aren’t something rattling around in your head. By just getting them out you are able to allow positive thoughts into your brain. You need to think of things other than finances and how you aren’t going to be able to make it. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you, I just am a type of problem solver and overthink things sometimes. Blessings!

REPLY

Thanks for some practical suggestions as well as relating your parents’ story, @alyric. Teresa

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@amberpep

Thanks so much for your gentle reply Teresa ….. I’ve been in therapy for 12 years and am taking 4 different psychotropics. But when I hit “overload” I just can’t contain it anymore. The other night I was so upset over my financial situation that I was ready to drive to the hospital. I didn’t but sat outside in the chilly air for awhile.
Abby

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@amberpep Hi Abby: I understand about hitting “overload” and I commend you for taking some action, just getting into the night air was undoubtedly better than just “stewing” inside. Keep taking little steps to create a health environment for yourself and keep sharing. We appreciate all that you have experienced and how well you articulate your feeings. Teresa

REPLY
@alyric

@amberpep. I’m so very sorry what you are dealing with. At 72 you are supposed to be enjoying life and relaxing.

Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace University says the first priority in your life is to make sure you have a roof over your head, food to eat, medication for your health and then the rest of the financial concerns. Then you need to prioritize the remaining bills/obligations. You need to think about the reality if you are able to work 40 hours/week. Is that something you can physically do? is there a job that you can do without physical/emotional/mental limitations? Have you thought about being an Uber Driver? Not sure if you have a car or like to drive, but people can make some decent money doing that. You may need to thing about non-traditional jobs at this time of your life. I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you are old or ancient, but you expressed some physical concerns like IBS, which you need restroom facilities nearby. Insomnia is horrible and it sounds like it is anxiety induced. If you are able to reduce some anxiety you will sleep better. You haven’t said what medication you are taking, but a short term anti-anxiety med may help you. Have you consulted your doctor so he/she knows what you are experiencing?

The pain you speak of is so very true, so don’t diminish the role it plays in your life. The burden you carry is heavy; have you thought about sharing it with someone. Talking will help lighten the load. The other person may not be able to help, but there is one other person in the world sharing your life. Sometimes we need that little oomph to push us to the next level. The anxiety is a terrible thing. If you are able to keep the lines of communication open with the people you owe money to that will be in your best interest. Even sending in a small payment is better than nothing, it shows you are at least trying. By not responding or discussing things with them, they think you don’t care or are out to screw them. The threat of collection agencies is terrible, but sometimes a necessary evil to give time to get finances figured out.

My mom just turned 73 and my dad is 75. They had a time after they sold their business and then the buyers defaulted where they didn’t know how they were going to make it. It took some time, but they did. They didn’t discuss a bunch with me, they told me what had happened and how they were struggling and didn’t want to get me involved, so I understand not wanting to burden your kids. I am thinking you are single and without a significant other, so then it is doubly as hard.

Sometimes it is better to write your concerns out on paper so those aren’t something rattling around in your head. By just getting them out you are able to allow positive thoughts into your brain. You need to think of things other than finances and how you aren’t going to be able to make it. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you, I just am a type of problem solver and overthink things sometimes. Blessings!

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alyric ….. thank you so very much for your very well thought out, and kind reply. Yes, I have read many of Dave Ramsey’s books and listened to him on the radio. He’s right about what he said …. it’s just hard to keep that in mind when in the midst of all this.
Interestingly enough, I do a lot of journaling and then when I see my therapist (3 hrs. away) I can relate to him what was going on and probably still is. I also sat down and again refigured my budget, without a job, and if I don’t do anything at all extra, I still have $50 left over at the end of the month. If I start to work when I move, even part-time, that will help. Yes, I’m not sure I can do a full 40 hour week anymore either. I’ve had a knee replacement and a revision, so it gets a little cranky at times.
Tomorrow is Good Friday and I’m going to a local church which has a 7 to 7 personal prayer journey also with the Stations of the Cross. I think going to that for however long I can, will really help. I miss my church in MD horribly and am floundering around in that arena also.
Again, thank you friend ….. thank you.
abby

REPLY
@hopeful33250

@amberpep Hi Abby, I understand that you are feeling overwhelmed and that is perfectly natural under the circumstances, but try to remember that circumstances do change. All of us are pulling for you to come out of this and find the answers you need. Remember that you have many friends here who care about you. Keep in touch with us. Teresa

Jump to this post

Hi @amberpep, it has been a while since we heard from you. I’m glad you found the courage and energy to write to the community today. That’s not easy. But as you see, we are listening. I hope the burden shared is a burden lighted, at least a little. However, we also recognize that writing to members of an online community may not be enough sometimes. Let us know if you need to talk to trained people via a help line. We can provide a number to call.

REPLY
@alyric

@amberpep. I’m so very sorry what you are dealing with. At 72 you are supposed to be enjoying life and relaxing.

Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace University says the first priority in your life is to make sure you have a roof over your head, food to eat, medication for your health and then the rest of the financial concerns. Then you need to prioritize the remaining bills/obligations. You need to think about the reality if you are able to work 40 hours/week. Is that something you can physically do? is there a job that you can do without physical/emotional/mental limitations? Have you thought about being an Uber Driver? Not sure if you have a car or like to drive, but people can make some decent money doing that. You may need to thing about non-traditional jobs at this time of your life. I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you are old or ancient, but you expressed some physical concerns like IBS, which you need restroom facilities nearby. Insomnia is horrible and it sounds like it is anxiety induced. If you are able to reduce some anxiety you will sleep better. You haven’t said what medication you are taking, but a short term anti-anxiety med may help you. Have you consulted your doctor so he/she knows what you are experiencing?

The pain you speak of is so very true, so don’t diminish the role it plays in your life. The burden you carry is heavy; have you thought about sharing it with someone. Talking will help lighten the load. The other person may not be able to help, but there is one other person in the world sharing your life. Sometimes we need that little oomph to push us to the next level. The anxiety is a terrible thing. If you are able to keep the lines of communication open with the people you owe money to that will be in your best interest. Even sending in a small payment is better than nothing, it shows you are at least trying. By not responding or discussing things with them, they think you don’t care or are out to screw them. The threat of collection agencies is terrible, but sometimes a necessary evil to give time to get finances figured out.

My mom just turned 73 and my dad is 75. They had a time after they sold their business and then the buyers defaulted where they didn’t know how they were going to make it. It took some time, but they did. They didn’t discuss a bunch with me, they told me what had happened and how they were struggling and didn’t want to get me involved, so I understand not wanting to burden your kids. I am thinking you are single and without a significant other, so then it is doubly as hard.

Sometimes it is better to write your concerns out on paper so those aren’t something rattling around in your head. By just getting them out you are able to allow positive thoughts into your brain. You need to think of things other than finances and how you aren’t going to be able to make it. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you, I just am a type of problem solver and overthink things sometimes. Blessings!

Jump to this post

You are very welcome my dear! I understand “floundering” within your faith. I was in that position last September. God knew I needed some help because of the financial, health and emotional struggles i was having. A friend invited me to a women’s conference. I didn’t want to go since I didn’t know anyone but her. I made myself go & it was the best thing I did for myself. I made 10 new Jesus friends, God made himself very real to me & I have a completely new outlook on life.

You got this girl! Just keep talking!

REPLY

Hi abby, just jumped in to read this. Have not been here to keep track. I will catch up. But i have to just send a SUPER GIANT HUG THIS INSTANT. Do not give up. If you feel like it…post something ASAP. OR CALL WHOEVER OUR SMART MODERATORS SUGGEST. WE ARE ALL WITH YOU!

REPLY
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