Incontinence, Bladder Cancer and 95 Year Old Dad - HELP

Posted by BlueSplashGirl/ Carolyn @bluesplashgirl, Mar 30 7:41am

My poor pop is struggling with all the complications of his cancer. No treatment because of advanced age and his wishes. He is still at home and we all take care of him. We finally got his catheter under control and now he is having uncontrollable diarrhea. Waiting for doctor advice but in the meantime, any suggestions on how to help would be greatful. Just an FYI – We have managed the diet portion to help control it but it is the containment part we need help with. Thank you in advance for any help you can suggest. Carolyn

Hello @bluesplashgirl Im so sorry your dad is suffering from diarrhea at this time. It must be so disheartening to him. How are you coping with it right now? Has his doctor offered any advice.? My mother went thru this same problem last year. She is 96 and also decided not to treat the cancer. She’s ok now, but we had a few difficult months.
Have you tried adult diapers? He could wear them when out of bed. You can put a towel on the bed to keep it clean when he’s in bed. There are also incontinence pads you can buy (at a drug store or pet store) . You can put them on a bed or chair. Be sure that you clean the site where the catheter enters the penis so that your dad doesn’t get a bladder infection. Also keep his skin dry and maybe put an ointment (like desitin, made for babies diaper rash) on the entire genital area. This will keep the skin from breaking down. I’m going to look up some more info for you, so I’ll write another message. Please give your dad a hug!

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@bluesplashgirl I found this website that has some of the supplies that I mentioned https://www.carewell.com/incontinence/
Also try the nafc.org. website. It is the national association for continence. It has lots of info on skin care,etc. Hope some of this will help

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@becsbuddy

Hello @bluesplashgirl Im so sorry your dad is suffering from diarrhea at this time. It must be so disheartening to him. How are you coping with it right now? Has his doctor offered any advice.? My mother went thru this same problem last year. She is 96 and also decided not to treat the cancer. She’s ok now, but we had a few difficult months.
Have you tried adult diapers? He could wear them when out of bed. You can put a towel on the bed to keep it clean when he’s in bed. There are also incontinence pads you can buy (at a drug store or pet store) . You can put them on a bed or chair. Be sure that you clean the site where the catheter enters the penis so that your dad doesn’t get a bladder infection. Also keep his skin dry and maybe put an ointment (like desitin, made for babies diaper rash) on the entire genital area. This will keep the skin from breaking down. I’m going to look up some more info for you, so I’ll write another message. Please give your dad a hug!

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Hello Becky, we have done all that you suggest. The thing is my feisty dad will get up at night when he feels it coming on and he has the accident on the way to the toilet. I am looking into plastic pants for over his depends. Also, we will get him some ointment like A&D and do what you suggest. Thank you for your care and concern and hugs! Carolyn

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@becsbuddy

@bluesplashgirl I found this website that has some of the supplies that I mentioned https://www.carewell.com/incontinence/
Also try the nafc.org. website. It is the national association for continence. It has lots of info on skin care,etc. Hope some of this will help

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Oh thank you! I will look them up now.

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@bluesplashgirl

Oh thank you! I will look them up now.

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@bluesplashgirl I just thought of something else. Does your dad have a bedside commode? He really isn’t safe getting up and going to the bathroom at night.

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@bluesplashgirl you might also find some helpful ideas from members in the Caregivers group, for example this discussion:
– Alzheimer's and Incontinence https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/alzheimers-and-incontinence/

I know it's not the same diagnosis, but some solutions may apply.

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@becsbuddy

@bluesplashgirl I just thought of something else. Does your dad have a bedside commode? He really isn’t safe getting up and going to the bathroom at night.

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No he doesn’t and that is a very good idea. I will see what we can do. Thank you for caring!

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@colleenyoung

@bluesplashgirl you might also find some helpful ideas from members in the Caregivers group, for example this discussion:
– Alzheimer's and Incontinence https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/alzheimers-and-incontinence/

I know it's not the same diagnosis, but some solutions may apply.

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Thank you, Colleen!

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Unfortunately Dr. Kovorkian passed away so you cannot reach him to request his services. Animals are Gods creatures and there seems to be no problem putting them down when they are suffering. Why not humans?

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Hello Thomas,
There is “Dignity In Dying” laws in 4 or 5 states now. However, even then it is still the choice of the individual and not the doctor or family. I agree that we will help our animals when they are in the most need of help and I do hope they pass the Dignity In Dying law here in MN. I for one would sign for it now before I couldn’t speak for myself. For now, I am looking for advice to help my father who chooses to continue on his trajectory with the assistance of those whom he loves and who love him. I am not seeking opinions regarding euthanasia.

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@bluesplashgirl

Hello Becky, we have done all that you suggest. The thing is my feisty dad will get up at night when he feels it coming on and he has the accident on the way to the toilet. I am looking into plastic pants for over his depends. Also, we will get him some ointment like A&D and do what you suggest. Thank you for your care and concern and hugs! Carolyn

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I have a disabled son and we had to do a bowel cleanse on him. We went to Home Depot and purchased a roll of that plastic sheeting that they put down in homes that are for sale. It sticks to your carpet or floor but does no harm. Ours was the width of a hallway. At least it may be more easy to clean up. Otherwise, will he use a portapotty like they have at the hospital which could be located by his bed?

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Thanks for your reply. My dad has just moved on to hospice and can no longer get out of bed. We will keep him with is so he can die at home with his family. We now just routinely clean up after every bm. Thanks to everyone for your care and advice.

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@bluesplashgirl

Thanks for your reply. My dad has just moved on to hospice and can no longer get out of bed. We will keep him with is so he can die at home with his family. We now just routinely clean up after every bm. Thanks to everyone for your care and advice.

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@bluesplashgirl I am so sorry to hear that your dad has moved to hospice. I know it is difficult for you but they will offer support and make sure that your dad is comfortable. When you refer to ‘we’ , is that your mother? I certainly hope that all of you will take care of yourselves and each other at this difficult time. I’m sending a cyber hug to you

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We includes brother, sisters, nieces, nephews, step mother, all of us. He is being well loved and cared for as he leaves us. Thank you for the hug and love.

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@bluesplashgirl . I too am sorry. Prayers for you and yours.

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