Importance of focusing on Positive with Depression & Anxiety.

Posted by BoneHead @stsopoci, May 27, 2019

In my journey with the millions of humans who are brave enough to go down the path of recovery without alcohol, bad drug and more drugs, I have gradually more and more discovered how important it is to crawl out of my deep hole, bad attitude, self-importance, feeling sorry for myself, angry, sad, etc, etc, condition and more toward the LIGHT!!! That means changing and moving for me away from some friends that are very negative about everything. That means walking around the block when I get upset so I can calm down and see the light. That means taking care of myself, exercising, eating right and meeting new friends and keeping old friends that are well-balanced. Positivity in life is available to everyone and it’s FREE. I have gone on a path throughout my early days of self-medicating with lots of alcohol, drug, etc. I cleaned myself up in 1996, OCT 13th but I still did not feel right until I could ask for help from a professional. Found out I was GAD (inherited from my MOM) and a few other close seconds. I went on medication for years on various meds until I found the chemical that keeps me pretty normal. BUT, BUT…something else was missing because I still suffered through the negativity of every situation that I could create in a moments time.

I love these groups because you are honest with yourself which is very important.
Finding good friends that understand you and the importance of staying positive with your journey through life.
Taking good care of yourself.
We all are unique so what works for me does not always work for you. I’m on 20mg of Lexipro.
What do other people do to stay positive?

@stsopoci

I went to a jazz concert last night …. music 🎶 just calms all of my thoughts and relaxes me more than anything. Turn on your favorite music and listen. It’s peaceful rhythm to enjoy.

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@stsopoci Glad to hear about your concert. Yes, jazz (or any music) provides great relaxation!

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Once again I revisit the negative and judgmental conversation of family and friends who find that during an hour of visiting together that they love to sit and talk down other people. We really don't know the people that they're talking about and disgusted about, yet we judge them to make ourselves feel good? I have to leave the room so that I get some fresh air and think of all of the blessings I have been given in my life. I want to be realistic about actions that people make but I can't possibly judge them because i'm not perfect either. Stay calm and peaceful and positive toward everyone. It's much easier on yourself.

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@stsopoci

Once again I revisit the negative and judgmental conversation of family and friends who find that during an hour of visiting together that they love to sit and talk down other people. We really don't know the people that they're talking about and disgusted about, yet we judge them to make ourselves feel good? I have to leave the room so that I get some fresh air and think of all of the blessings I have been given in my life. I want to be realistic about actions that people make but I can't possibly judge them because i'm not perfect either. Stay calm and peaceful and positive toward everyone. It's much easier on yourself.

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@stsopoci My guess/hope is this same group of people would not talk like that if the subjects of their conversation were in the same room! What if one of that person's friends were there, and heard the trash-talk? Gosh, how embarrassing. If something like that happened in my house, I am pretty sure I would shut the conversation down and usher those naysayers out the door. We don't need that negativity.
Ginger

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Great post. Thank you for sharing

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I’m so blessed to be close to my grandkids that constantly teach how to have fun and laugh 😆. Everyone needs to talk out their feelings to people and laugh at yourself and with people. I realize that physical pain is apart of us all and I feel in some of my friends that they just need a hug and understanding to make it through the day. Peace to everyone.

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Went to Utah and visited the National Parks. We walked and hiked to some of the worlds most beautiful, scenic canyons. The rush from looking at beautiful scenery really helped my attitude and memories of these sceneries will last a lifetime.

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I wanted to let those of you participating in this discussion on focusing on the positive with depression and anxiety know about the latest Connect member spotlight. It features @ayeshasharma, one of the members involved in this conversation, @ayeshasharma https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/newsfeed-post/advocating-for-those-who-feel-alienated-from-health-care-spaces-meet-ayeshasharma/. Learn about Ayesha's passions, important qualities in friendships, favorite foods and more. Post a comment, if you'd like.

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I’m in a very stuck mode at the moment. I’ve started a new therapy with a psychiatrist that’s based in acknowledging and validating emotions. I’m very numb and it seems like a good idea. But yesterday I started down some old paths leading through my divorce. Dredging up really old stuff. I don’t think that’s useful. I’d like to acknowledge my current sadness that my marriage failed, but not contemplate all the whys! I really want to couple therapy with positive mental reinforcements, so this post is timely. I have many positive outlets, mostly outdoor activity based, like birding, but they’ve taken a back seat recently and it scares and frustrates me.

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@shermananski– Hello. Oh boy can I identify with your depression. I have PTSD with anxiety and depression. Unfortunately there is no straight line with an illness and depression is just that. For what ever reason your body is off kilter and it stresses the body, which makes you more depresses, which stresses the body; need I go on? lol. When I gain weight I go deeper and deeper into sadness. It's that I've let myself down. When I'm at a good weight I feel better, have less stress on my body and am happier.
I might be over stepping my boundaries here but you need to get your car back. You need to get back doing things. Can your daughter buy a used car or rent one? You health depends on it I think. Don't you?

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@merpreb

@shermananski– Hello. Oh boy can I identify with your depression. I have PTSD with anxiety and depression. Unfortunately there is no straight line with an illness and depression is just that. For what ever reason your body is off kilter and it stresses the body, which makes you more depresses, which stresses the body; need I go on? lol. When I gain weight I go deeper and deeper into sadness. It's that I've let myself down. When I'm at a good weight I feel better, have less stress on my body and am happier.
I might be over stepping my boundaries here but you need to get your car back. You need to get back doing things. Can your daughter buy a used car or rent one? You health depends on it I think. Don't you?

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Negative feedback … good point. It needs interrupting! My daughter has anxiety and depression, too. And some mental challenges she inherited from her father. That makes me sad. So I try to support as much as possible. She gets no support from him (his other mental challenges). sigh. Boy this is depressing me! I’ve been drinking too. At home alone. On a Friday night. Watching a movie. That’s distressing. I cleaned my car yesterday and did some other necessary stuff. Today I’m going birding but honestly it’ll be a lot of car riding with conversation that might not be ideal. Like politics and work and other worldly stresses. the more I think here the more I sink. Ok. Enough. I’m going to do some house trim painting that needs to get done before it gets any colder. And then go see some amazing ducks. It’s fall back day… one of my fav days of the year. An extra hour to sleep! Yay. thank you for the encouragement. I need to get positive and motivated.

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@shermananski

Negative feedback … good point. It needs interrupting! My daughter has anxiety and depression, too. And some mental challenges she inherited from her father. That makes me sad. So I try to support as much as possible. She gets no support from him (his other mental challenges). sigh. Boy this is depressing me! I’ve been drinking too. At home alone. On a Friday night. Watching a movie. That’s distressing. I cleaned my car yesterday and did some other necessary stuff. Today I’m going birding but honestly it’ll be a lot of car riding with conversation that might not be ideal. Like politics and work and other worldly stresses. the more I think here the more I sink. Ok. Enough. I’m going to do some house trim painting that needs to get done before it gets any colder. And then go see some amazing ducks. It’s fall back day… one of my fav days of the year. An extra hour to sleep! Yay. thank you for the encouragement. I need to get positive and motivated.

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I have a lot in my plate… don’t I? Keeping up a house. Caring for an adult daughter and a geriatric cat with kidney failure. Be nice to me. Be thankful you have a house and a loving amazingly smart and talented daughter and a cute kitty who’s tormented you for 18 years with crazy kitty antics.

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@shermananski– I have 12 years experience with PTSD caused by the same time frame of having my 2nd, 3rd and 4th lung cancers. When I am depressed the last thing that I can do is to think positively. It's a contradiction of terms. Earlier this year Harvard Medical School upgraded a much earlier article about the causes of depression. The point of the article is that things are much more complex than once thought. It's far from not having enough of one chemical and too much of another. It's a long hard journey, but one well worth making. I am still on mine and may never stop.
whttps://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression

In order to think positively we all need to deal with ( to take the action that is necessary) the things that are making us depressed. Medications help with symptoms but not the cause. Making lists of what you can change now, or have power over and those that you don't can help weed out things that might be draining our energy. It's first and most importantly time to weed out the riff raff. Once the list with the "no power over" is put away it's time to deal with those that you do have power over. By power I mean the ability to change the way you react and look at things. You can change how they effect you. Usually, but not always those things that make us depressed have happened in the past. Time has changed our perceptions of them. Of course they happened, I'm not saying that they aren't. We can't change the past but we can put into perspective why they are still effecting us why do we still let them? Why do we help them stay and beat us up? This is a different time and out memories aren't perfect.

My mother had a huge influence over me. She was not a particularly warm woman and really had no idea how to emotionally be supportive. She expected great things without the teachings of how to go about them. We fought like cats and dogs and I gave her a run for her money most of my life with her. She was an artist of sorts and left many of her sculptures for her three children. Anyway, I put as many of her sculptures around my house as I could. I surrounded myself with her. Instead of really mourning and letting my nasty memories of her vanish I stayed angry and more and more depressed because those art pieces were a continuous reminder of her coldness and demeaning words. I entered therapy and one of things that I learned was that those pieces of art were a constant reminder of her and subconsciously I kept thinking of our conversations and fights and didn't let her go. Some of these will always make me angry when I think of them but by packing away most of her art I have also packed away some of the triggers that have begun a lot of my depressive thoughts.

Most of us have different stories but something triggers the memories and keeps us captive. Also, and I'm sure that you are aware of this, by doing negative things to yourself you reinforce any negative feelings that you have about yourself. By changing these things will be the first line of getting you feeling better and getting out of the house and will give you more power over them. Actions are what lead us to think positively. Does this make sense?

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